The Episode for People Who Are Exhausted By Dating (How to Change Your Strategy and Mindset for the New Year)

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On Purpose with Jay Shetty 33 min 9 speakers 7 chapters transcribed
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Why has dating become extremely challenging?

Molly 0:35
Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
Kira Dixon 0:42
It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
Molly 0:47
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
Kira Dixon 0:53
Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
Unknown Speaker 1:06
45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What are the core values to look for in a partner?

Jay Shetty 1:35
When you trust someone, it means if you share your emotions with them, you believe they'll take them seriously. When you share your heart with them, you believe they'll hold it gently. When you share your dreams with them, you believe that they'll be excited for you. Trust is when you feel such a safe space that you can truly be yourself without holding back.
Unknown Speaker 2:03
The number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the only Jay Shetty.
Jay Shetty 2:09
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you for tuning in for another episode. If you're in a relationship and want to know if it's the right or wrong one, this episode is for you. If you're newly dating, and you're trying to figure out how to build a deeper connection, this episode is for you. And if you're exhausted of dating and it's feeling like a job, a chore, something you have to get to, this episode is for you. Now, I want to start off by saying that... Dating has become extremely challenging. We know it's hard. We know it's complicated. But here's the thing. It's not that it's ever been that easy. Sure, people may have found people quicker.

What questions should you ask on a first date?

Jay Shetty 3:00
Sure, people may have found people closer to them, easier, that knew their family. But that didn't mean it led to healthy, fulfilling relationships. I'm sure you've seen aunts and uncles, maybe even parents, people around you who didn't model or have the best relationships. And therefore, finding connection is something that requires work. It is something that requires time. And so I think sometimes we have this nostalgia effect that everyone who came before us found love and everyone who came before us found the perfect person. but that for some reason for us, it has got more hard. Now, I'm not saying that the day-to-day may not feel harder.

How to identify if you're being patient with the right person?

Jay Shetty 3:42
I'm not saying that the day-to-day isn't more challenging and there are more aspects of ghosting and gaslighting and everything else that's happening. But I will add this, the possibility for you to attract love into your life exists every single day. But it's important that we come at it from a place of love, not from a place of anxiety. Anxiety doesn't attract peace. Anxiety attracts more anxiety. It attracts more nervousness. It attracts more awkwardness. It attracts more discomfort. But when we're in a place of peace, we're able to spot and attract more peace. Now, deeper connection and my fascination with it is what led me to partner up with Match. And something I've always loved about Match is that they've done their annual Singles in America study.
Jay Shetty 4:47
And last year, they revealed the top traits singles are looking for in a partner. 94% said someone they can trust and confide in. 92% said someone who's comfortable communicating their wants and needs. 92% said someone who is emotionally mature. And 92% said someone who can make them laugh. Now, I just want you to take a moment.

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