Terminal Illness At 23, Grief and The Fertility Decision No One Should Have To Make | Jordan Adams

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What early experiences shaped Jordan’s view on his mother’s illness?

Jordan Adams 0:00
Thanks for tuning in. Follow us to not miss out on next week's episode. I used to sit up in my bed at night crying my eyes out in floods of tears, praying that my mum would make it to my 21st birthday. Mum's gonna die from this. It was something that we each had a fifty percent chance of inheriting. So not only are you watching your mum die from something that is incredibly cruel at a young age, you're also then finding out you have a ninety nine point nine percent chance of getting familiar. FTD. Me and my brother are obviously tested positive. There's another three in our generation who are also gonna die of FTD if nothing changes. I know there's no treatment, I know there's no cure, but like what what can I do?
Jordan Adams 0:35
As much trauma as they've caused me, I'd do it all over again for my mum because I loved her.
Unknown 0:44
Jordan Adams. I feel like we need to jump right into your story, right? Um which is always hard on these podcasts because I'm like, right, let's get into it. You know. So um I'm sorry if we're gonna have to dive dive into the dark stuff straight away. But um can you tell us a little bit about your mum and kind of what happened?
Jordan Adams 1:01
Sure, yeah, I think it's best to start with kind of the type of person she was. So my beautiful, amazing mum, Geraldine, she was uh born to two Irish parents. Um they actually met In Birmingham, ironically, despite living kind of less than 10 kilometers each fr away from each other in Ireland. Oh really? Yeah. They met in Birmingham. Yeah, yeah. It's a bit of a weird one. Come on, Birmingham. Yeah, I know, yeah. Um, and then yeah, she grew up um in Redditch, which is the hometown that I I'm still from and grew up in myself, uh, with her younger sister Anne. Um and my mum kind of as we knew her, um, as a person who brought us into the world, was a loving, vivacious character. Um Um Kind of iconic in kind of what she wore and stood out in a crowd.
Jordan Adams 1:42
Um, I'm biased, but she was a very beautiful lady as well. Dark curly hair, big blue eyes, freckles, um, and like that big smile to match and big, big, big dimples and stuff. And um, but I think more than that to look at, she was a beautiful person inside. She had a kind of a beautiful gift to give people her time, particularly those who were vulnerable or were going through something difficult. And I um I think that's why now kind of her memory still lives on through a good group of friends and people who knew her. I regularly get stopped by people to say that they knew my mum and how lovely of a person that she was. And I think that's amazing that she lives on like that. But I think when you have somebody like that as your mum, it doesn't take long to notice small but kind of significant changes in their behaviour, you know, particularly when she was the the type of person to always be there on time to put
Jordan Adams 2:28
You up from school, she'd be kind of front row at kind of school plays, she'd be on the sidelines cheering at kind of sports matches for me and my brother. I'm sorry. Um, so when you start to kind of see small but significant changes in your mum, um and and and they presented kind of in the early stages, I would say. Um, I was around 13 years of age. My earliest memories of of mum kind of changing um from the person she was, um, that would have been around two thousand and eight. Um And Mum went from being this really outgoing person, very social, as I say, um, to kind of socially withdrawn. She went through extended periods of low mood. Um and we kind of in the initial stages just thought it was a case of she was struggling with the grief of losing her dad like three years previously in 2005.
Jordan Adams 3:13
She used to go and visit him kind of every day in his care home that he was in. He was a functioning alcoholic, so she used to drop off his forecans of home. Heineken with a pack of fags and we'd go there and sit and he put uh a little Irish cupboard for us and we'd sit there in the care home. But like that was a a huge part of her life and she lost that. So we thought that kind of she was struggling with with that. Um but as things progressed we noticed that kind of mum's cognitive behaviour and repetitive questioning as well was coming into play and he just

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