The Night John Robins Knew He Had to Quit Drinking
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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For so long, I had these two forces, which was the fear of drinking and the fear of not drinking. I'd started doing CrossFit, that hadn't stopped me drinking. My GP telling me I need to sort my life out, direct quote. I just thought I have nothing left.
What personal experiences led John Robins to question his drinking habits?
I've absolutely nothing left in my power to get on top of this.
Hi everybody, welcome back to On The Men. This is a podcast where we look back at life's toughest moments to figure out how we move forward. Today we have John Robbins. I'm very, very excited to have you on. Thank you so much for coming on, mate.
You're welcome. Thank you for having me here.
I'm really excited. My wife talked to you last week on the radio. Yeah. She said lovely things about you. Oh, that's very nice.
Yeah, I was talking to her about the book and also about the marathon. And then I had to pick a show tune. Oh, did you?
How did John Robins define his struggle with alcohol?
I didn't know what that meant. Because I'm not big in the sort of the West End Broadway world. Are you not? But I managed to sort of scour my past for a show tune. Right. So we managed to... What did you pick? Another Suitcase in Another Hall.
Oh, wow. Okay, great.
The Barbara Dixon version from I think Evita.
Right. Wow. Great. Nice. Yeah. Great. So that went well.
Yeah, it was lovely to chat to her.
She's really nice. Oh, nice. Great. I read something from your book. It kind of blew my mind when I read it in the show brief. It said, I will do anything to feel better. Just don't ask me to change. Who told you that?
That was told to me when I was 18, 19. And it was something my therapist, that therapist said to me. He said, you know, everyone who sits down in the chair you're sitting in is essentially saying to me, I'll do anything to feel better. Just don't ask me to change. And it always stuck with me, even though at that moment in my life, therapy didn't necessarily help with the addiction I was suffering from. That idea that I am constantly resisting the one thing I need to do. And I think a lot of people I've met when they're going through difficult times are They're sort of avoiding the elephant in the room. And I think for about 20 years, I was trying to find a way to stop drinking without actually stopping drinking.
Yeah.
Especially towards the end of my drinking career. It was like, what if I have two days off a week? What if I drink weaker beer? What if I do dry January? What if I only drink after 4 p.m.? I had all of these rules beginning to stack up. And now looking back, it's sort of this person trying to solve a problem they don't know they have. Because the problem is one drink is the problem.
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
And so that thing that had been said to me in like year 2000 came back to me in sobriety of like, oh yeah, that was me for so much of my life. And it applies to other stuff as well. You know, if I want to get fitter or if I want to... You know, any goal I have, I actually know what I need to do. Yeah. But I'm... Desperate not to do it. Because it's hard.
Yeah, it's hard and uncomfortable. So you first went therapy for gambling, right? So have you struggled with that for a long time?
It was very sudden, very intense. And once I got to a gambling 12-step meeting, that helped a great deal. Because I think what was so hard about that was how secret it was. And just finding out there were other people who'd had similar problems was... sort of a revelation. However, it just didn't have its teeth into me. Weirdly, even though it was an addiction, it had yet to become a habit. So it was just something I suddenly found that helped me switch my brain off. And because it was so catastrophic financially, it was a very black and white situation in that I had no more money to lose because I lost all my money. So it's like, I'm going to die. I'm going to kill myself if this continues because I feel so awful.
Whereas I think alcohol has much more nuanced ways of telling you it's not a problem. Everyone's doing it. You didn't have a drink yesterday.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:22
2
What personal experiences led John Robins to question his drinking habits?
0:22–0:57
3
How did John Robins define his struggle with alcohol?
0:57–13:44
4
What moment triggered John Robins' decision to quit drinking?
13:44–32:49
5
What tools did John Robins use in his recovery process?
32:49–35:15
6
What is the significance of 12-step programs in recovery?
35:15–53:31
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from On The Mend
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The Moment Michelle Heaton Became Dependent On Alcohol
15 Questions About Addiction I’m Finally Answering | Matt Willis