High Performance Psychologist: The #1 Fear Holding You Back From Your Full Potential
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What is the main fear holding people back from their potential?
Most people are not afraid of dying. They're afraid of living poorly. They're afraid of the regrets that they'll have. No one wants to die. Even the most forward-pushing people that operate in environments of consequence like Alex Honnold. So Alex Honnold, I believe, is one of the most significant minds in all of sport right now. Most recently, he scaled the Taipei building. Prior to that, he scaled without ropes, without harnesses, El Capitan, 3,000 sheer feet of rock. So all he's left with is his hands, his feet, and his head, and navigating a sheer cliff. He is showing us what a full command of the mind is, and he is disciplined in how he uses his mind. He's disciplined in how he builds his craft, and he's disciplined in how he uses and fundamentally organizes his life.
The reason it is so foundational for so many of us is because we are still operating under our biological dictate to survive, as opposed to the psychological ambition to go explore, to figure out what we're capable of.
Welcome to Open Book. I am your host, Anthony Scaramucci. Joining us today is Michael Gervais, best-selling author, high-performance psychologist, and founder of Finding Mastery. We could all use a high-performing psychologist, by the way, Michael. Okay, the first rule of mastery is the title of the book, Stop Worrying About What People Think of You. perhaps the hardest thing for a social organism known as a human to do, which I always tell people that my grandmother said, what other people think of you is none of your business. I'm 62 years young, Michael, and I'm still trying to live up to that. And I have to confess that I'm not perfect at it, but you're here. And so you're going to help me. You've worked with elite performers across sport business and the military and
And before we get into how you're gonna help me and everybody listening, what drew you to psychology and high performance in the first place? And welcome to the show.
What a fun introduction. So I'm a work in progress too. So like we're all, we're all trying to figure it out, Anthony, but all right. So what led me to psychology is that I would go back to high school years. I was a good little athlete and there was a difference for me between competition and free surfing. Surfing was my sport of choice and I could do the thing when nobody was looking. But then as soon as there were some stakes in the, you know, there was judges and there was, people watching, I was not as good as I knew I was capable of. So something changed overnight. Something changed. And I was in a heat competing. The person I was competing next to paddled by me. There's only three people out. It's like seven in the morning, glassy conditions, head high waves, ideal conditions.
And he paddles by me and we're about mid heat. And he says, Gervais, I'm out here surfing with you every day. You got to stop worrying about all the things that could go wrong. And I thought, how does he know?
How does Michael Gervais define FOPO (Fear of People's Opinions)?
This is me as like a 16 year old kid. How does he know? And he didn't, like a good competitor, he didn't give me the answer, right? But he left me thinking, oh, this is about the way I'm thinking, right? Now, Anthony, in my family, in my unique niche sport, in my region of the world I was in, Southern California, a young 16-year-old boy in the 80s did not go to a psychologist. That was for someone that didn't have their stuff together that was kind of a mess, that was depressed or anxious or something worse. That was the narrative. And it was a sign of weakness. So thank goodness we're in a different world right now where the best in the world are raising their hand and they're saying, hey, listen, the mental part of the game is the foundation of the whole thing.
You want to be great in life? Train your mind. Thank goodness we've got those folks that are telling that story now. But back then in the 80s, that was not an option for me, at least my little circle. So I studied it because I knew that there was something there that I needed to unlock. And it was private. It was painful.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main fear holding people back from their potential?
0:00–3:02
2
How does Michael Gervais define FOPO (Fear of People's Opinions)?
3:02–4:14
3
What role does the brain play in our fear of social judgment?
4:14–6:00
4
How can understanding our fears lead to personal growth?
6:00–8:21
5
What strategies can help overcome the fear of others' opinions?
8:21–12:22
6
How does performance-based identity affect our self-worth?
12:22–15:16
7
What is the relationship between authenticity and approval?
15:16–18:55
8
How can we cultivate a purpose-based identity for better performance?
18:55–31:51
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Open Book with Anthony Scaramucci
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