Chapter 1: What are the latest updates on the NHL season?
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Jamie, you're going down a slippery slope if that picture was serious of those rubber boots that you bought. Because if you start wearing that type of stuff, God knows what else. I mean, the shirt with the top. Did you actually buy those shoes? I don't know if Joe from the Bridge was on that. It was insanity.
Chapter 2: How does Keith Pelley view the Maple Leafs' direction for the second half?
And Doogie chimed in and said, I have them, too.
You don't even need Joe from the Bridge. What the hell are those? What is that shoe?
I don't know. I saw them. Dude, it's like a crock on steroids. It really is.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Okay, so I've gotten, and this is probable. We all have vices. You sit there on Instagram and scroll. Dude, we know. We saw the shirt.
The shirt.
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Chapter 3: What insights did Darren Pang share about Auston Matthews' season outlook?
With the built-in tie. Yes. The shoes were on there, and I pressed on the button. I'm like, all right. They're apparently like Kanye West Yeez or something like Adidas.
Your algorithm is all jacked up. Your algorithm is a guy that wears a Hawaiian shirt that drives a Kia Soul around and is a bum. Yes.
You've got to get your algorithm. No.
Get your algorithm back on track. We need to update your algorithm. This is what I don't understand. Slow down.
Yes.
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Chapter 4: How is Connor McDavid coping after the gold medal defeat?
How is your algorithm matching with Doogie's algorithm?
I don't know what happened, but these shoes came across my thing, and I was like, oh, they look very comfortable. I can walk. I like walking around the house. I don't wear house slippers or anything like that.
Me neither.
I wear Crocs.
Look, I got them on right now. I got my white Crocs on. Okay. All right. We got you. Yeah.
This is getting dangerous.
We're going to have a crotch shot.
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Chapter 5: What does Darren Pang think about the Maple Leafs' matchup against the Lightning?
This is turning into an OnlyFans. The worst OnlyFans ever. Literally zero subscribers. Negative subscribers.
By the way, Doogie, put up a poll while we're on the tie. Who would make more money in OnlyFans between the three of us? Doogie, I want to know by the end of the show what the answers are. Who would make the most if they put up an OnlyFans? Hazy B, Noodles, or O'Don?
I think I could win that one. I really do.
I think Noodles is in better shape. I think you're a more interesting person. Like, for starters. What does interesting have to do with OnlyFans, man?
Chapter 6: How are injuries impacting the performance of key NHL players?
That's a valid question. I don't know. I don't know.
I think it's O. O will be like somebody would want to see, like, his toes or something. A foot fetish.
Find out how much I could charge per toe pick.
I have like a bunion on my left.
That thing could do numbers on OnlyFans. I'd have to pay people to look at my phone. It could do numbers. Numbers. Like there's some wild people out there. Wild, wild people. And I just feel like if any of that launched, there would be an immediate board meeting.
Like backlash.
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Chapter 7: What factors will determine the Maple Leafs' success this season?
Yes.
The OnlyFans hierarchy would say, this has gone too far. We have to stop. Can you imagine that original text from our boss, Ken, where he'd be like, Are you guys on OnlyFans? Overdrive OnlyFans. You better put that poll up because I want to find out what our listeners think. At the end of this show, the truth will come out. Who could make the most bank on OnlyFans?
There's a dark web like people would pay to see the bunion on his foot.
You in an alumni jacket with your foot in the air. This bunion is a cash cow, man.
I believe, again, I swear on my kids. I know what it is, but I've never been on it. But they would want his foot with the alumni jacket behind it or something.
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Chapter 8: What did Auston Matthews say about his visit to the White House with USA Hockey?
There would be some demented Leaf fan that would be like, I need to see that.
That would be quite something. All right, well, let's hope it never happens. Let's hope it never gets there where we have to possibly go down that road.
Well, in my defense, I saw them. I bought them. They arrived today. I'm wearing them. They're very comfortable. They will never see the daylight, I don't think, outside my house.
They can't, dude. They can't. Well, you know what I will say? It's interesting you bring this up because I had somewhat of an epiphany this morning. Like, I remember when I was younger, like, I think both boys and girls do this. Right. But I know boys do it. Like, once you get to grade 6, 7, 8, 9, you're not getting that boy in a jacket and a hat. You know, if it's 0, 1 degrees.
Remember, we used to go to school in hoodies and play ball hockey or foot hockey and basically in T-shirts. If it was 40 degrees.
My daughters refused to wear a jacket.
Exactly. The older kids get, it's not cool to wear. And I saw, I was dropping my daughters off today, and I saw like a pack of three or four kids. I think they were grade eight kids, older kids. Not one jacket, not one hat. And I was like, I stopped and I was like, where are their jackets? Where are their hats? And I'm like, I had a moment, I'm like, I've turned into my dad.
Like, this is what happens. Because I remember my dad would wear...
harkas and massive hats and he didn't care he was like i'm not gonna be cold like what do i care i'm dropping you off at school i could not care less but like i'm gonna be warm and this is what's happening and it's just it's the way it goes it's the way it works man it's a cycle of life it's the cycle of life i'm that guy driving around saying where's that kid's jacket how does that kid leave the house without a hat
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