Oz 9
Episodes
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: David and Bonnie
01 May 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Well, I'd say the fun never ends with this crew, but in truth, empires have risen, fallen, risen again, fallen again, and risen a third time to cries ...
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Eric and Shannon
12 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Who doesn't want to spend more time being utterly confused by the Idiots of Oz 9? Don't answer that. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN. Sarah Golding, who has zer...
Interviews with yer ever-lovin' Crew: Eric and Shannon
12 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Who doesn't want to spend more time being utterly confused by the Idiots of Oz 9? Don't answer that. PUT YOUR HAND DOWN.Sarah Golding, who has zero ti...
episode one hundred & twenty: That volcano outside Hveragerði
15 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
We assume our title will send tens of you dashing to Google Translate or similar to check Joe's [Jesus!] pronunciation, so spoiler alert, he's spot on...
Check out Hard Drive!
27 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Hey, no one can accuse this crew of good taste in food, decoration, home furnishings, friends, leisure pursuits, career choices.... You get my point....
episode one hundred & nineteen: Chain-smoking nut-bag bum-pouch
28 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
NOTE: follow us on Bluesky (@oz9podcast.bsky.social) or join our Discord channel (https://discord.gg/4zXBRxH) for updates on our End of Season Six Li...
episode one hundred & eighteen: Easy, M Night Shamalamadingdong
09 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hello? Anybody out there? Oh, yeah, hey. It's been a minute. Soooooooo... where were we? Right. When last we left our crew, they had managed to ...
episode one hundred & seventeen: New respect for gerbils
26 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Yes, you read that title correctly. We have a profound respect for gerbils up here and won't hear a word against them. If you take issue with that, or...
episode one hundred & sixteen: No narration after meanwhile
10 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Look, when your life is in the hands of someone who only recently gave up huffing glue, you keep your will updated and hope for the best. Such is t...
Oz 9 recommends: Who the F**k Killed My Sister
03 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Y'all. Y'ALL. Ok, we've given you no reason to respect our judgment, but we're not wrong on this one. Sure, OK, we were wrong about the forniculator ...
episode one hundred & fifteen: Are you...twerking?
27 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Stuck on Planet Bob where pretty much everything is awful all the time, the crew is freezing and desperate for a safe place to ... well, to screw up, ...
episode one hundred & fourteen: Cigars, piles of meat, and someone else's liquor
26 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The crew are tramping aimlessly across the blistering and occasionally freezing surface of Planet KTAALNS (Kill Them All And Leave No Survivors, other...
episode one hundred & thirteen: Into the clown car, y'all
01 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever been invited to a party you really REALLY didn't want to go to? Like, you won't know very many people, you're not sure how to dress for ...
Check Out Hit Singles
11 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Brought to you by the team that brought you Wolf 359, you know it's going to be good. Faith Adler has crossed the country to spend the summer in NYC...
episode one hundred & twelve: Don't piss off your narrators
27 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
I'M SORRY, WHAT? HANG ON, LET ME GET TO A QUIETER PLACE, JUST A SECOND.... Phew. That's better. Things have gone bananarama aboard the Oz 9, and the ...
episode one hundred & eleven: There's a bulldozer outside
06 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
To everyone who responded to our blurb writer last time, they've been sacked. I mean ... does this look like message-in-a-bottle time? Using our show ...
How I Died - It's to die for!
31 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you haven't yet discovered the podcast How I Died, you are in for a treat! A ghoulish, scary, maybe-listen-with-a-friend "treat," but yeah, a treat...
episode one hundred & ten: Hell bent for leisure
23 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Once upon a time, there was a blurb writer who dreamed of the back of book jackets or maybe even the inside front flap, or the little bit of copy unde...
episode one hundred & nine: That whole *spoiler spoiler* dead situation
09 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Oooof, who cranked up the gravity? Feels heavy in here.... It's spring in the bioswamp, as much as it can ever be "spring" in space. Things are flower...
episode one hundred & eight: Playing Pluto's advocate
23 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a Wednesday eve as I write this, and as I look out the porthole into the infinite recesses of space, I'm reminded how very small each of us is ag...
Presenting Hannapocalypse
20 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Hey, Space Monkeys. Have you ever wondered what happened to the earth Oz 9 left behind? I mean, I’m not saying we CAUSED the zombie apocalypse, but ...
episode one hundred & seven: Two went for the seljefløyte
09 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
-s the 1983 winner of the -nnu-l Dip your mittens contest, i -pplaud the l-rson brothers for their -m--ng skill -nd dedic-tion to the g-me. you've bee...
episode one hundred & six: Is that a haddock?
29 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
So.... please take a close look at the episode art and tell me if you see anything funny? Mmmmm hmmmmmm. Apparently it took us a YEAR to notice. I bla...
BONUS: What's this I hear about an Oz 9 game?
19 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It may not sound like it in the podcast, but life aboard the Oz 9 can be pretty boring at times. In the hiatuses (hiatusi?) between hair-on-fire momen...
episode one hundred & five: Clara? Mein little Kartoffelpuffer?
24 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
NOTE: Stay tuned after the credits and all, for a trailer of a great new show: A Paladin's Bargain. You can listen to it in the usual places. You'll w...
episode one hundred & four: #GreatSatansBoletes
07 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
YOU have a dirty mind. "Satan's Boletes" doesn't mean *THAT*. Although it does translate to "Great Satan's Fun Guys," so maybe it's still worth a gigg...
episode one hundred & three: A hungry, long-tailed weasel
23 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Oz 9 recently turned six, and while most of the crew asked for a quick and painless death for their birthday wish, we're still here. (If you want to g...
episode one hundred & two: We're in space, Felber
10 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Some old nemesisisisisisises have reappeared, and that's ... unfortunate. But at least Bob has some colourful brochures to distract our team from thei...
episode one hundred & one: "Crap" indeed. Meanwhile...
31 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Do you have ANY IDEA the literally dozens of hours you've wasted with this bunch of smooth-shelled walnuts? (and yes, that's a ref...
Discover Sanctuary
19 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What would you do if you woke up on a newly terraformed planet (besides die of shock if you were on the Oz 9) to discover your husband has taken over ...
Have You Met Madison Yet?
07 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
While Oz 9 is on hiatus (or "in hiding for tax purposes"), it's a great time to discover some new podcasts to binge. So if you're looking to adopt you...
Meet The Exile!
02 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
You're in the Oz 9 void — no new episodes until, what, Halloween or something? It's cruel, we know. We hear your howls of despair. But wait! We have...
episode one hundred: Suitless, helmetless, and utterly baffled
25 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Well, ain't this a kick in the underpants? No one would have believed, on that random Tuesday in 2142, that the Oz 9 would still be kicking (mumble) m...
Desert Skies
16 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Listen up, Space Monkeys! We did the hard work of vetting a very fun new podcast for you, so now all YOU have to do is listen to it. YOU'RE WELCOME. I...
episode ninety-nine: Put your kidneys on speaker
09 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
With the end of Season 5 just .... an indeterminate time but probably about two weeks away, the eternal Tuesday of the spotless (thanks to Joe) 9 is g...
episode ninety-eight: Something is coming
26 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's time to check under the bed, make sure the closet doors are firmly shut, tuck any clown toys in your siblings' rooms or the freezer, and crank up...
episode ninety-seven: Well, this is unexpected
11 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
So, a few things to discuss here. Basically, don't do ANYTHING you hear in this episode. So, I guess there's really only one thing to discuss. Never m...
episode ninety-six: Why is there a bar on the bridge?
08 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. Have you ever met a Kestochalian? Actually, you might have. They're sort of lovely, except when you want to thump them ...
Check out The Sprouting!
25 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Olivia frequently just gets bored watching the crew of the Oz 9 tangle themselves up in disasters of their own making, and lately she's been downloadi...
episode ninety-five: Spill or be spilled
14 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Well, cue the sultry saxophone and the wire-brushed cymbals, we're back for part II of our "noir" wormhole. We had high hopes for this one (as in, hig...
episode ninety-four: Expensive perfume and cheap shots
01 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's a quiet night on the mean streets of ... uhhhhh ... doesn't matter. And it's not that quiet, either. Lemme start this again. It's a Tuesday night...
episode ninety-three: A Midsummer Morning After
14 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's part 2 of this, and then I swear, we're finished and you can go back to just suspecting how pretentious we are rather than having the receipts. W...
episode ninety-two: A Midsummer Night's ... whatever the hell this is
04 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
As Narrator 2 says in this episode, "English majors must perforce English maj," so here's the episode you've all been dreading: the Fakespeare. Come o...
episode ninety-one: Measuring tape awareness day
18 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode... it fought back, I tell you what. But we finally wrangled it into some sort of shape. I'mma go with "parallelogram," because it looks l...
episode ninety: Science makes me affectionate
02 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's episode 90! And that's the best thing we can say about it. There's a lot of sampling of condiments. Word of warning: don't get between (former) C...
episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable
17 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's nearly Christmas as I type this, and I'm bah humbugging like your least favorite neighbor, but throwing out an episode of Oz 9 always makes me ha...
Bonus: Take the planet
23 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's Thanksgiving, Oz 9 style, which means the only thing anyone has to be grateful for is surviving it. If you've ever wondered about the origin of s...
episode eighty-eight: A hairball in your haggis
19 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We turned five years old yesterday. The podcast, I mean — Oz 9 just turned 5. How we've lasted that long, we have no idea, but we suspect it has som...
episode eighty-seven: Why does the mustard matter?
05 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Remember those days, hanging out at the mall, thinking Spencer's Gifts was the height of counter-culture because they had festive roach clips? Yeah, m...
episode eighty-six: Spike the gargling cow
01 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Continuing in our endeavor to educate the public, much of the cowboy vernacular here is authentic. Well, some of it. "Brown gargle," for example, is t...
Bonus: Oz 9 Meet the Characters
17 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Honestly, there's just nothing good to be gained from listening to this. It's a bunch of people old enough to know better being very silly while affec...
Bonus: Meet Jonathan Pezza of Curious Matter Anthology!
10 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I know, I know, I skip a lot of bonus episodes too, but srsly, give this one a listen. Not only is Jonathan smarter than the entire crew of the Oz 9 c...
episode eighty-five: Dirty, greasy oligarchs
02 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Exploring the Oz 9 isn't like exploring brave new worlds in the manner of highly questionable colonialists of eras past. Except for the alligators. An...
episode eighty-four: Would it help if I spoke stupid?
18 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Exploration of the Oz 9 continues, and it's not going well. Though we did find some goldfish. And some bumper cars. Traveling via vending machine is...
episode eighty-three: In short, she is baked
11 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I went back and read the opening paragraph that was here originally, and even I don't understand it, so I must have been really tired or possibly in a...
Bonus: Livestream for the Cure and Oz 9
14 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The Livestream for the Cure starts on May 17 and probably ends abruptly with much screaming on SATURDAY (not Sunday, ooops) May 20th at 8 pm when the ...
episode eighty-two: Keep your knickers out of the biscuit tin
11 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Our crew land on a strange planet ... and find someone truly strange. BUT: here's your chance to hear a chunk of Dr. Theo's novel as our turnip gree...
episode eighty-one: Hangover remedies and really good sunscreen
12 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Yes, I KNOW we said January, but hey, it's January somewhere, right? The Oz 9 crew are finally (?) done with their plant-based emergency and have brok...
Bonus: That slice of Joe Pye-Weed pie
10 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
I tell ya, you turn your back for, like, three months, and someone just shoulders their way in there and takes over your ship, your characters... shee...
Bonus Discussing Oz 9: Hiatus Episode
22 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to the Audiotorium. It's Discussing Oz 9, with Narrator and Narrator 2, Pluto, and other assorted folks. If you're not familiar with the Discu...
Bonus: Enough with the toad orgy, Two
08 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
If you struggled through the classically complex and layered story of the last four seasons, you're not alone. It was, as Mrs Sheffield has it, "more ...
episode eighty: Oh my giddy aunt
31 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
I'M LATE TO THE LISTEN ALONG, SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. Our theme and other music is composed and performed by John Faley. Our artwork is by Lucas El...
episode seventy-nine: Sand where no man is making pearls
23 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's possible someone dies in this episode. I mean, it's possible someone dies in EVERY episode — it's really pretty astonishing when no one does —...
episode seventy-eight: Is anyone else seeing wings?
25 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Is anyone else hearing a weird ... flapping sound? And feeling a tiny bit of a breeze? But like, a weirdly hostile breeze that's just coiled up and wa...
episode seventy-seven: Mind the disco ball
28 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Content warning: There are some big emotions in this one, so please take care of you. We're getting closer to the end of Season 4, and ... well, that'...
episode seventy-six: Covered in goat dung and yodelers
14 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's entirely possible this story has spun a wee bit out of control. But then, isn't that a lot like...life? I mean, take your basic ergonomic keyboar...
episode seventy-five: Mad stories of trampled relatives
31 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Note: This is the final episode narrated by Richard Nadolny. His fabulous daughter Chris Nadolny Gourley takes over the mic in 76. Other note: despite...
episode seventy-four: You know where the porn stash is
17 Jul 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Note: This episode is narrated by Richard Nadolny, so guard your heart. It's episode 74, and you know what that means.... DO you know what it means? C...
episode seventy-three: Is that a Giant Turnip?
30 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Warning: this is narrated by Richard, so take care of you. He didn't mean to make you sad. Brugmansia, it turns out, isn't a type of Italian leather ...
episode seventy-two: Cahooty
11 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Content warning: Richard narrates this episode, so take care of you. This episode is dedicated in his memory. Please consider contributing to the Ame...
Bonus: Oz 9 Past, present, and (dare we say it) future
10 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Content Warning: Big emotions around death and suicide. Before he left us, Richard recorded several episodes ahead. Hard as it is to hear his voice, i...
NEWTS!
09 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's a story about newts. A story that turned its author into Public Enemy #2. Yeah, you're going to want to hear this. Newts is a production of PRX a...
episode seventy-one: Rumblings in the astral region
11 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
If you've never had chocolate milkweed with rosemallows, you're really missing out. On stomach upset, whiplash-inducing vomiting, an itchy rash, and u...
episode seventy: Do we have any more tuber tots?
21 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Oh, hell, now we're getting all Lord of the Ringsy with sacred tokens and some sort of binding agent to herd them all or whatever, blah blah blah. We'...
episode sixty-nine (giggle): Tighter than a Minnesotan Manhole
24 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's episode 69, and the whole world is just upside down. Oh, come on, not even ONE "sixty-nine" joke? Sheesh. You've been listening to Sarah Goldi...
episode sixty-eight: Hold our swamp hooch
24 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Leet's been boiling up ... well, we're not sure what those are. He thought they were apples, and he was trying to make apple cider. Or maybe apple sau...
episode sixty-seven: I haf been tinkering vis my shavink foam
06 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We hope you all had a great holiday season. We didn't. Something blew up and it stunk like crazy, but we still have no idea what it was, and Dr. von...
episode sixty-six: Feels super bowel-y in here
20 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's the holiday season, and our gift to you is.... some stupid. We made it ourselves. You've been listening to Aaron Clark as Ben Bonnie Brantley...
episode sixty-five: Astronauting is a lonely business
22 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever wondered about HOW the Oz ships were retrofitted for long space journeys? Us too. We still do. Hey, stay till the end to hear the trai...
episode sixty-four: Three rights and a left
08 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The original title of this episode bugged me, so I changed it. I can do that. If you're worried the power might go to my head, well, just wait until y...
episode sixty-three: You are a naughty little schatzi
24 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You thought your job was hard, imagine being Narrator (or Narrator 2, really) for this boatload of Twinkies. (Which, incidentally have still not shown...
episode sixty-two: I sent him a hippotigrus
04 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
NOTE: Listen to the end for awesome trailers! It's true many people complain that Oz 9 is not only NOT educational, it may in fact "leach information ...
episode sixty-one: The "tilslørte bondepiker" maneuver
20 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
LOOK. I never said it would be the MORNING of September 19, I just said it would be ON September 19, so I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. It's episode 61, and ...
Bonus: Oz 9 episode X-1
12 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Written by Lee Shackleford of the awesome sci-fi audio drama Relativity, this bonus episode exposes you to yet more of Oz 9 that you were hoping to av...
Bonus: Oz 9 chat, part deux
29 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We'd like to dedicate this second hiatus episode to our one fan in Zambia. To date, according to our stats, there have been 86 downloads in Zambia. We...
Bonus Oz 9 "the hiatus ate us" chat
20 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"The hiatus ate us!" That line, courtesy of the brilliant Bonnie Brantley, is all too true. We started our hiatus with great plans to do all kinds o...
episode sixty: Your breath smells of caramel and butterscotch
11 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This one is a beast. Go to the bathroom, get some water, maybe load up on some snacks. Is your listening device charged? Get comfy. We have a lot to...
episode fifty-nine: Quality control. Also, nibbles.
16 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
You've been awesome! No, really. I'd love to be able to reward your patience, but instead I just have an episode. I know it's not much, but I made it ...
episode fifty-eight: Spucked into sace
17 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
With just three episodes left in the season, is that a cliff I see ahead? With a small branch protruding from its face, just right for hanging? Things...
episode fifty-seven: But then I also say higgledy piggledy
03 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
This episode begins with a funeral, so you might want to have tissues handy. The production assistant was supposed to get hypo-allergenic flowers for ...
episode fifty-six: Our future together is suddenly in doubt
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We did a comic book! You'll hear us talking about the Kickstarter here, which is well and truly over, thanks for asking. Now just buy one and get them...
Bonus Mission: *FWIP!* (Part 2)
28 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
A rift in time and space causes 4 members of the Oz 9 crew to get pulled off the space ship (bringing the median IQ up significantly) and swapped with...
episode fifty-five: Monkey Man, gather the sweets
22 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
OK, OK, yes, it's late AGAIN. We know. We've been having a really rough time lately, the kids are sick, the roof caved in when we had that thunderstor...
episode fifty-four: Remove the bejesus with fear
03 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
All the backstory you never wanted and then some. We find out some stuff about Le Bichon Frise, some other stuff about Donna, blah blah blah. Greg fal...
episode fifty-three: Where's Grammar Girl when you need her?
15 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The universe may be crashing around your ears, but as long as you know the difference between who and whom and how to scoop up a dangling participle, ...
episode fifty-two: Everyone knows about böckling
01 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you know how to disable an invisible alarm? Yeah, well, listen close; someone on our crew is about to tell you. Well, maybe... we're not entirely s...
episode fifty-one: I look damn good in jodhpurs
17 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The crew aboard the Oz 9 are stalactites, holding tight to the ceiling in unexpected zero Gs, and the crew on the ground are stalagmites, who might su...
Bonus: Oz 9 It doesn't get much more trivial than this
04 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
To punish Kevin Hall for having the gall to ... something, I can't remember what it was he did, but for sure he did something really bad to merit this...
Bonus: The Oz 9 Night Before Christmas
25 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Our beloved OG Narrator Richard Nadolny wrote and reads the Oz 9 version of "The Night Before Christmas." Merry Christmas, ya bums. Learn more about y...
Bonus Diary of a Oz9ivist: Is this a cheese dream?
06 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
EARLIER SOUND ISSUES HAVE BEEN CORRECTED, AND OUR PRODUCTION PERSON HAS BEEN FWIIIIIIIIIIII...... What happens when the alien aboard your ship gets hu...