Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe

S12 EP30: Michelle Wolf

17 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: How does Michelle Wolf balance parenting and her career?

2.579 - 3.44 Josh Widdicombe

How old is your baby?

0

3.701 - 12.635 Michelle Wolf

I have a five-month-old and a three-year-old. Ah, and they're both? They're both in London, but the one is just downstairs.

0

13.336 - 13.617 Josh Widdicombe

Right.

0

13.637 - 16.962 Michelle Wolf

Because I'm still breastfeeding, so he has to just come along.

0

17.162 - 18.985 Josh Widdicombe

So is there a chance we're going to get interrupted?

19.1 - 20.282 Michelle Wolf

No, he should be okay.

20.322 - 21.845 Josh Widdicombe

He ate the whole way in the car.

21.885 - 24.09 Michelle Wolf

I don't have a problem with that.

24.11 - 27.156 Rob Beckett

That wasn't me getting angry. Yeah. No, no, no. He had done it in mid-anecdote when a child needs his mother.

Chapter 2: What challenges does Michelle face with her children's sleep routines?

109.84 - 115.527 Michelle Wolf

Europe's nice, isn't it? Europe's nice, and I love comedy in the U.K.,

0

115.591 - 120.358 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah, so you come over, work, and then go back. Do you ever do comedy in Spain?

0

120.558 - 148.499 Michelle Wolf

I do. There's a great little comedy club in Barcelona. It's called the Comedy Clubhouse. I should say I'm a very small percentage owner of a clubhouse. I think it's one or two percent. I'm really breaking it in. I mean, it's a great little spot. English language. English language, yep. In the middle of just a little 90-seat... small room. Oh, nice. It's perfect to work stuff out.

0

148.699 - 172.446 Michelle Wolf

So I go up like once or twice a week there. Oh, wow. So, you know, work on the hour and then I come over here and... And you bring the kids over? Yeah. Yeah. I have a place here in London as well because it's just... Between hotels, like once you get like, you know, I have the kids and the people who help me with the kids and then also sometimes my mom because she helps with the kids.

0

172.607 - 173.147 Unknown

Yeah.

173.167 - 183.871 Michelle Wolf

And so then... So then you have like three or four hotel rooms. And by the time you're doing that for any period of time, you're like, I might as well just rent a place and not have to take a large suitcase.

184.171 - 186.893 Rob Beckett

So are you touring in America or is it more UK you're touring?

187.053 - 209.858 Michelle Wolf

Right now it's more UK. Potentially we'll go back to America this year and tour. You don't want to do it? I don't really want to do it. If I'm being honest, I don't really want to do it. Also, I have, okay, maybe this is too much, but I have both of my nannies are... they have Spanish passports, and they speak Spanish.

210.459 - 227.634 Michelle Wolf

And there's part of me that's worried if I go over to America, they'll be with my kids outside speaking Spanish, and ICE will surround them. It could happen. And then first of all, I don't want them to get taken away somewhere.

Chapter 3: How does Michelle's husband contribute to parenting?

275.785 - 284.898 Michelle Wolf

You know, because of all the Trump stuff. And they're like, but you're actually funny. And I'm like, you don't have to say it. You could just say you liked the joke.

0

285.739 - 289.965 Josh Widdicombe

So are your kids Spanish?

0

290.506 - 295.172 Michelle Wolf

Well, they're born in Spain, but they have an American passport.

0

295.192 - 297.135 Josh Widdicombe

And what's their first language? English.

0

297.233 - 324.453 Michelle Wolf

Well, the one she's kind of in between, she's learning both. That's cool, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, if she also learns Catalan, which is like the Barcelona language, then it'll be, it'll really, I think, I don't want her to learn it because I don't want her to speak a language that I can't understand at all. Because then I feel like she'll be like... You know, like a whole nail salon situation.

324.513 - 326.878 Michelle Wolf

She'll be talking about me in front of me.

326.918 - 327.759 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah.

327.839 - 329.222 Michelle Wolf

In a language I don't understand.

329.242 - 330.023 Josh Widdicombe

And you speak Spanish?

Chapter 4: What unique parenting experiences does Michelle have living in Spain?

443.291 - 455.297 Michelle Wolf

Yeah. But then, like, you know, for the most part, I kind of just, like, go in right away when I get home because... So you're all in the same bed, all three of you? We're all in the same bed, and... And what are the kids?

0

458.945 - 460.148 Unknown

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're fun, they're fun, they're fun.

0

461.495 - 492.799 Michelle Wolf

They sleep with me there. We have a large bed and we use a very small part of it, which annoys me to no end. I'll be kind of breastfeeding on this side and then my toddler will be wrapped around me on the other side. She's an obsession with my belly button. She'll just play with my belly button. Oh, how's that? It's terrible. It's a nightmare. It feels, at first you're like, that's not bad.

0

492.879 - 499.18 Michelle Wolf

And then after a while, you're like, that is, it's like, it makes my skin crawl.

0

500.881 - 502.523 Josh Widdicombe

Are you trying to stop her?

503.003 - 527.171 Michelle Wolf

I sit in the calmest way possible. Sometimes I'll be like, get off! And then other times I'm really trying to teach her, be like, I don't like when you do that. It feels bad when you touch my belly button. I do not like it. You cannot, if you touch people and they say, I don't like that, you have to stop. And if someone touches you and you don't like that, you can tell them to stop too.

527.572 - 538.757 Michelle Wolf

And she's just like, If my shirt lifts up at all, she's got like a beeline laser focus for my belly button.

539.597 - 556.636 Rob Beckett

I can't bet. The thought of it makes me want to heave. Anyone touch my belly? What do you like with your belly button? I was just touching my belly button then thinking it isn't pleasant. You're right in there though, aren't you? Why not? Even me doing it to me, I'm like... Are you into it then? No.

557.677 - 563.567 Josh Widdicombe

I don't like it. That's the first time in my life I've engaged with the thought of it.

Chapter 5: How does Michelle manage her stand-up comedy schedule with family life?

617.375 - 623.026 Michelle Wolf

It's the movement. It's the kind of... She's using it as a fidget toy. Oh, will that happen at night? Yeah.

0
0

623.647 - 641.149 Michelle Wolf

It's like, I don't know, you know how, well, I have a friend, her son used to have a session with elbows and to like fall asleep at night, he used to just rub her elbow. I've heard of that. Yeah, and it's like that except my belly button. It's like that except much more intrusive.

0

641.169 - 644.173 Rob Beckett

I would love it to be my elbow.

0

644.193 - 644.353 Michelle Wolf

I would.

644.373 - 645.414 Rob Beckett

What you'd give for that?

645.494 - 651.021 Michelle Wolf

Sometimes I put my, I'm like, hmm, this is nice. Have you ever felt that bit? Yeah, yeah.

651.001 - 675.253 Rob Beckett

i used to squeeze my dad's um you know like on the knuckles of the finger yeah sweet like squeeze out and it just stays there like that i used to do that to my dad's knuckle quite a lot see i find that quite fun no elasticity yeah it doesn't go back does it it feels weird after a while it does yeah yeah how late in life did you do that when did i do that i've never stopped yeah i'm still going go around going for a quick visit in the knuckle squeeze

676.735 - 684.623 Rob Beckett

But no, I think when I was little, you know, when you're little, your parents' hands are all so massive, aren't they? Yeah. Look at these big hands. But I've stopped doing that now.

Chapter 6: What cultural differences in parenting does Michelle observe between the US and Spain?

801.918 - 802.038 Michelle Wolf

Yes.

0

802.058 - 802.921 Josh Widdicombe

Are you getting much sleep?

0

803.382 - 833.893 Michelle Wolf

Not really. At the moment, it was going well. With my three-year-old, when she was an infant, she nursed all the time. Even when I was sleeping, I was just a pacifier. So this baby is like, he's such a boy. He eats and then he rolls over and farts and falls asleep. He's an old man already. And that was lovely because I was like, great, he's asleep and I'm not attached to him.

0

833.993 - 845.384 Michelle Wolf

And now that he's getting a bit, he's a bit older, I feel like he wants to eat more at night. So he wakes up a little bit more than he was He was before.

0

845.404 - 848.448 Rob Beckett

And how long did you breastfeed the youngest? Sorry, the oldest?

848.468 - 849.73 Michelle Wolf

Two years and a couple months.

849.75 - 854.596 Rob Beckett

Yeah, so that's a long time. And then going into another, it's like a lot of your body being used by someone else.

854.616 - 856.038 Michelle Wolf

I've been pregnant or breastfeeding.

856.058 - 857.38 Rob Beckett

Before we get to the belly button.

Chapter 7: How does Michelle handle the pressure of public recognition as a parent?

945.895 - 988.223 Michelle Wolf

So don't listen to this. Never listen to this episode. You don't want to yell at them because they don't understand that it's torture. It's a lot of your body. It's a lot of your body being... I woke myself up Because I was dreaming that I was like, there was birds on me. And I woke up going, stop. And I was hitting my body. And it was just because my daughter was trying to belly button me.

0

988.243 - 993.634 Michelle Wolf

Oh, really? And I was like, oh, my God. I'm having like stress issues. Oh, God.

0

993.654 - 1006.117 Josh Widdicombe

It must be so overwhelming having your body being used and touched all the time by... It's difficult because it's not like you go, well, there's lots of books about how you end breastfeeding, but there's not many books about how you end having your belly button touched.

0

1006.217 - 1013.67 Michelle Wolf

Right. It's not a weaning situation. You can't be like, here, have some milk in a cup instead of my belly button.

0

1013.69 - 1031.792 Josh Widdicombe

The addiction is to the action rather than the... It's just a, yeah, oh. I don't think we have to throw addicts around. Oh, I think you've got a problem here. I think the Betty Ford clinic might be. I think she needs to go cold turkey on belly buttons completely.

1031.912 - 1035.678 Michelle Wolf

You know, I've thought about wearing like a one-piece bedding suit.

1035.698 - 1039.464 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah, like a kind of 80s aerobics instructor.

1039.484 - 1048.739 Michelle Wolf

Yeah, just something she can't. Like in the summer it was great because I was wearing a swimsuit a lot. So she couldn't get to my belly button as much.

1048.759 - 1068.34 Rob Beckett

Yeah. what a sentence we're like we're parenting most people like routines key and king for you you're constantly moving around and I say if your husband's flying around working a lot and you're with the nannies so do you just sort of roll with it and see what happens or do you have a routine with the kids or is it each day's a different day when you're touring

Chapter 8: What insights does Michelle share about the complexities of modern parenting?

1144.197 - 1154.132 Michelle Wolf

I mean, they're, you know, especially because, you know, here in London, we all stay together. So, yeah, I mean, I think I hope they like me.

0

1155.175 - 1163.182 Josh Widdicombe

And when you're doing tour shows, are they coming to the... So say you're in... Let's go through your tour dates.

0

1164.768 - 1175.16 Rob Beckett

Say you're in... Because, you know, now you can come in if you need to breastfeed or whatever. But if you're doing a gig and a show, really, you can't. Will, can you or do you interrupt the show for that?

0

1175.18 - 1187.865 Michelle Wolf

I haven't. So I will. Once I start touring, the new one will be over six months. So he'll be able to have kind of like some water and food and stuff. So it won't be as intense.

0

1187.845 - 1214.985 Michelle Wolf

super necessary to keep him as close by yeah um never had to interrupt a gig for it no um they have been in the green room before uh but so say june the 11th when you're in swindon yes the wyvern old faithful doing the best job in the world tell us about the show Best Job in the World is a show about how maybe motherhood is not the best job in the world.

1215.005 - 1215.766 Josh Widdicombe

Oh, there we go.

1216.247 - 1233.412 Michelle Wolf

But also just about society. I think a little bit of the thesis statement I have is that society is not made for women. And we've kind of contoured ourselves to fit in. But also... I don't think society's made for men either. And you guys are having a hard time.

1233.432 - 1241.264 Josh Widdicombe

Do you know what? Genuinely, premises on stand-up shows very rarely interest me. I buy into that.

1241.344 - 1243.848 Rob Beckett

You've just done what other people do in our comments.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.