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Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe

S12 EP34: Josh gets bullied by Romesh

01 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 9.797 Josh Widdicombe

This episode is brought to you by Pizza Express. Now serving up After School Club, a selection of Pizza Express favourites for just £5 each. Available three till five, Monday to Friday.

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9.857 - 28.751 Rob Beckett

It's a tasty way to reclaim those family moments. That's kind on the wallet too. Ah, Rob, also. You get the after-school meltdowns, don't you? They're hungry, they're tired, one wants to sit in the front, one wants to choose the music. Or you've brought the wrong snack, or you get home and they want to watch different things on TV.

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28.832 - 38.666 Rob Beckett

Josh, when the kids come out of school and they just throw their bags at you, say I'm hungry, arguing with each other about who sits where in the car. Oh, my word.

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38.886 - 50.058 Josh Widdicombe

It's full of... Couldn't agree more, Rob. And do you know what? When you find yourself in that situation, in my experience, there's no 3.30 meltdown that can't be calmed with a £5 serving of dough balls.

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Chapter 2: What parenting challenges do Rob and Josh discuss?

50.078 - 54.982 Rob Beckett

For more info about what's included and how to redeem, visit pizzarexpress.com. Terms apply.

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58.366 - 65.413 Unknown

Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Zappy, can you say Rob Beckett?

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65.995 - 72.643 Unknown

And can you say Josh Widdicombe?

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72.663 - 72.984

Josh Widdicombe.

73.004 - 86.661 Josh Widdicombe

Amazing. There we go. Very jolly. Very jolly. Hi, you sexy and relatable dudes. This is my wife practicing your intro with our 21-month-old daughter, Saffron. Stand a bath. I'm recording. You're laying down there.

Chapter 3: How do Rob and Josh handle after-school meltdowns?

86.741 - 109.797 Josh Widdicombe

I was laying down. We're both speech therapists. I've been practicing this with her since she started talking. As I'm also a Josh, this caused some confusion. as you have been referred to as Daddy Widdicombe on one or two occasions. Not sure that you want that to stick. By his wife or the child? I don't know, actually. I don't know. Looking forward to seeing you both in Brighton this year.

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109.857 - 138.751 Josh Widdicombe

Thanks for all the laughs. During our commutes and that walk, Safi, 27 months. Haiyan, 469 months. Haiyan? H-Y-A-N. H-Y-A-N. H-Y-A-N. Haiyan. I think this must be just a generic footer to his emails. He's got his email address. No, sorry, he's got his phone number at the bottom. Who, Josh or Haiyan? Josh.

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139.311 - 150.851 Rob Beckett

Josh. Josh, Josh. Josh, Josh. It's a name. There's a wrestler called Highen and a footballer called Highen.

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151.131 - 156.617 Josh Widdicombe

Well, I could phone him up and ask where Highen comes from, but I think it'd be quite weird.

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158.259 - 158.819 Rob Beckett

Call him now.

Chapter 4: What are the funniest listener emails shared in this episode?

159.74 - 171.869 Rob Beckett

Shall I? Just say, hi, mate. Love the little voice note. You're on the podcast. How do you pronounce Highen and where's it from? Lovely name. Okay. You sure?

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173.171 - 183.346 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah, if you just tell him what you're doing. Okay. Then he'll have my number. Do 141 before it. I'm not going to do 141. You've got to show some trust in people. Error.

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184.587 - 186.05 Rob Beckett

You'll have high-end staring through your window.

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195.704 - 196.645 Josh Widdicombe

He's not in, Rob.

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197.401 - 205.713 Rob Beckett

Is it a landline? No. Oh, it's a shame, isn't it? We'll leave it. It might ring back.

205.733 - 208.257 Josh Widdicombe

It's not got a voice, Memo. It's not got a voice.

211.622 - 215.388 Rob Beckett

To speak right now, please leave me a message and I'll get straight back. Thank you.

218.492 - 225.803 Josh Widdicombe

Hi, Josh. It's Josh Willicam from Josh Willicam. I'm Rob Beckett. You left your phone number at the bottom of the email.

Chapter 5: What unexpected moments happen during a family holiday?

225.823 - 251.235 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah. And so I thought I'd use it on the podcast because we couldn't pronounce the name of your partner. Is it Highen? If you could get back to us, that'd be ideal. Cheers, mate. Have a good Monday. There you go. That's nice. Not a bad start, yeah? Oh, I'm going to have to deal with that when this pod's finished. You'll have a little chat with your new mate, Josh. Hi, Josh, it's Josh.

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252.277 - 257.023 Josh Widdicombe

Just so you know, Josh, I can't face picking up if you call me back and it's not during the pod.

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257.493 - 280.044 Rob Beckett

But why have you said that out loud? Just let that happen. Don't make him feel bad. No, that's no offence on him, but he couldn't face picking up to me. No, no, because he... No, that's not true. He wasn't aware that you'd called. You've made the first move and now you're worried about the comeback. You could have left that unsaid. I could have left that unsaid, yeah.

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280.885 - 295.38 Rob Beckett

But then we wouldn't have a podcast, would we? Exactly. And we left that unsaid. That's a good name for a podcast. We've left all of this, yeah. I got obsessed with a TikToker on a podcast when I... Yeah, go on. Well, this lady on TikTok...

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295.36 - 318.988 Rob Beckett

basically was being really open about the fact she caught her husband cheating and then they broke up and for like last three or four weeks she's been talking about being single and I mean it's really quite heartbreaking really because they've got kids and like she's gonna have to move on with her life and then anyway um she recorded a podcast in this period talking about breaking up with him and then she got back together with him oh no

Chapter 6: How do Rob and Josh react to a hamster in the freezer story?

318.968 - 326.82 Rob Beckett

And then was I on holiday with him on TikTok. And then this podcast has come out from four weeks ago. Oh, no. And I'm just like, this is madness.

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327.741 - 337.195 Josh Widdicombe

They can't release that. It's out. I know. But say we were the people whose podcast she'd gone on and they got back together. I don't think we'd have released it.

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337.215 - 347.304 Rob Beckett

We'd say, look, do you want us to release this or not? Because it's a bit unfair if you're starting again in the relationship. But they just went for it. And what was the podcast? I don't think she's that. She doesn't mind it being out.

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347.765 - 350.53 Josh Widdicombe

Well, no, she said everything on TikTok, I suppose, hasn't she?

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350.75 - 351.812 Rob Beckett

I know, but it's just mad, isn't it?

353.214 - 361.508 Josh Widdicombe

That's a really difficult backpedal, isn't it? And the base of the podcast. What's he going to do? He's not going to kick off. He's cheated on her.

362.069 - 380.299 Rob Beckett

She's got the moral high ground forever. Well, I think the podcast is about two women that got divorced and now they're, I should name check it. I can't remember what it's called. I can't find it. I just saw loads of clips on TikTok. And they obviously have had marriage breakdowns and they're starting again. That's what the podcast is about, right? So they've got her on to talk about it.

Chapter 7: What are the most memorable parenting fails shared by listeners?

380.74 - 393.625 Rob Beckett

But then they said something in it because they were talking about men. I was like, maybe all men, you know, if men are just, I just think all men are awful. But he's saying like, if men were in a room, Are there no men out there, basically? They didn't say all men are awful. That's unfair. I'm not saying this.

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393.866 - 402.267 Rob Beckett

But they were saying, are there any men out there that can be in a room full of beautiful women and won't do anything about it? And I was like, yeah, there are loads. Yeah.

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402.922 - 409.212 Josh Widdicombe

It's not that... Oh, I've just got a text. Oh? No. From a woman? No, it's not from that guy.

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410.875 - 416.524 Rob Beckett

Yeah. Who's it from? You're hiding text messages from me. You've got your little legs up like Joe Wiley, giving it the big one.

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416.985 - 427.862 Josh Widdicombe

So what are you meant to do? When you get married, is there a theory that the way to maintain faithfulness is just to never be in a room with an attractive woman? So it's worked well for me.

429.545 - 429.705

LAUGHTER

432.284 - 435.114 Josh Widdicombe

Before I do Graham Norton, can I check who's on?

435.937 - 447.813 Rob Beckett

Me and Lou broke up, right, Josh? And I remarried or had a new girlfriend or whatever. Partner. It'd be partner. Can't have a girlfriend when you're 40. What do you think would be the least likely option and the most obvious option?

Chapter 8: How do Rob and Josh navigate discussions about relationships?

448.233 - 448.514 Rob Beckett

Okay.

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448.554 - 452.579 Josh Widdicombe

That's a good question. Same for me, please. Yeah. Okay. I love a little thing.

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452.599 - 472.062 Josh Widdicombe

So the least likely, well, obviously when you said the least likely option, you're not going to be married to Camilla Parker Bowles, but that's because you know, I mean like some of the sort of in the realms in the celeb world, the least likely option would be, um, the person you wouldn't go out with would be someone like Victoria Coren Mitchell.

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472.042 - 476.969 Rob Beckett

No, I would, she's funny and I'd get on with her because she's quite acerbic and sharp.

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476.989 - 481.555 Josh Widdicombe

This isn't, it's not necessarily that you wouldn't get on with these people, but just.

481.575 - 504.1 Rob Beckett

Oh, no, no. For me, it would be a, it would more likely be, I think, someone that really takes acting and theatrical stuff seriously. Yeah. And I couldn't suffer that. Or a novelist. Mate, yeah, or, yeah, no, I think, because actually that's, I think actors are really into it and have to have like a week off work after a part because it was too demanding. Yeah, Tom Hiddleston.

504.702 - 506.427 Rob Beckett

Is that what he has to do after Thor?

506.868 - 509.094 Josh Widdicombe

No, but he's very, he's a serious actor.

509.395 - 528.827 Rob Beckett

Is he in Thor? Yeah, I'm not going to marry. For me, I think the most likely would be a 50-year-old woman. Yeah, I think you'd go older because it would be safer. I don't think you could have a younger woman that you want to, like, be crazy. I think you'd want a safe pair of hands to nurse you into your, you know, inevitable death. So I think you'd probably go for like a 50.

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