Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Libraries Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdicombe

S12 EP37: A Room With No Window

11 May 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 9.797 Josh Widdicombe

This episode is brought to you by Pizza Express. Now serving up After School Club, a selection of Pizza Express favourites for just £5 each. Available three till five, Monday to Friday.

0

9.857 - 28.751 Unknown

It's a tasty way to reclaim those family moments. That's kind on the wallet too. Ah, Rob, also. You get the after-school meltdowns, don't you? They're hungry, they're tired, one wants to sit in the front, one wants to choose the music. Or you've brought the wrong snack, or you get home and they want to watch different things on TV.

0

28.832 - 38.666 Unknown

Josh, when the kids come out of school and they just throw their bags at you, say I'm hungry, arguing with each other about who sits where in the car. Oh, my word.

0

38.886 - 50.061 Josh Widdicombe

It's full of... Couldn't agree more, Rob. And do you know what? When you find yourself in that situation, in my experience, there's no 330 meltdown that can't be calmed with a £5 serving of dough balls.

0

Chapter 2: What parenting challenges do Rob and Josh face after school?

50.081 - 62.278 Unknown

For more info about what's included and how to redeem, visit pizzarexpress.com. Terms apply. Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... George. What?

0

62.378 - 63.68 Rob Beckett

Can you say Rob Beckett?

0

64.801 - 65.042 Unknown

Why?

0

66.163 - 67.585 Rob Beckett

Can you say Rob Beckett?

0

68.223 - 68.987 Josh Widdicombe

Rob Beckett.

69.309 - 71.219 Rob Beckett

And can you say Josh Widdicombe?

72.124 - 72.827 Josh Widdicombe

Josh Widdicombe.

73.43 - 73.853 Rob Beckett

Well done.

75.28 - 81.091 Unknown

What's that for? Who's that deep-voiced guy that's just done our child intro, Josh?

Chapter 3: How do Rob and Josh handle parental guilt and missed events?

259.619 - 277.583 Unknown

the eldest daughter's show round of a school and go and do that. And then so she's crying and upset. And then she's like, you're not even coming. I'm like, no, I'm not coming. Lou's at a work meeting. And then so this morning I felt really guilty leaving this morning. It was very much a Gabrielle out of reach, couple of tears in the car to commute.

0

277.603 - 282.049 Unknown

But here now, ready to talk about not parenting again.

0

282.029 - 291.044 Josh Widdicombe

Oh, Rob, I'm sorry. It's so mental. And then you're like, presumably your daughter is going to that secondary school anyway.

0

291.805 - 315.92 Unknown

Yeah, I know, but you want to be – I know, but I just completely – I've completely missed the email and there was no way to sort of reschedule. And the problem is I'm quite busy and overwhelmed at the moment with work. So it's like my neutral is – you're a piece of shit and you've done it all wrong, Rob. Okay. So I'm very working. That's my nil nil is Rob. You're a piece. Yeah.

0

316.02 - 320.209 Unknown

Before I've done anything wrong is Rob. You're a piece of shit. You've done it all wrong. Did you watch the football last night?

320.349 - 336.143 Josh Widdicombe

Five, four. Oh my God, it's unbelievable, wasn't it? The Premier League is shit compared to that. Bring on, I know this is an unpopular view, and most of our listeners aren't even interested. The faster they just bring in a fucking European Super League so these teams play each other every week.

336.164 - 339.93 Unknown

I thought that. I was like, this is... I'm an Arsenal fan.

339.91 - 352.549 Josh Widdicombe

It's not like the Premier League isn't hugely financially rubbish. Like the shark has been jumped or whatever the fucking point is. It's always going to be unbalanced. So let's just put all the fucking best teams in a league together and they can play each other every week.

352.569 - 370.494 Josh Widdicombe

Let's just admit what this is rather than pretending that it's like, what's the point in Bayern Munich winning their league every year? Put all the teams who are good in the same league and the promotion and relegation from the domestic leagues into that league, it will be much better. I agree with that. Welcome to Talk Sport.

Chapter 4: What are the humorous insights about kids' performances and school events?

449.243 - 474.137 Josh Widdicombe

Well, this is the thing. We love a sports star, and it goes in with what I said about Ronnie O'Sullivan, who sadly lost. We like a flawed sports star, and Carrie Kane isn't flawed. No. He's the opposite of flawed. He's the perfect professional. He's like a kind of just very happy dad. He's got a very sensible kind of haircut that you'd normally see on a 40-year-old professional kind of...

0

474.117 - 482.365 Josh Widdicombe

He wears Skechers already. Exactly. He is middle-aged mediocrity personified as a human being, but he's also the best footballer we've ever produced.

0

482.725 - 488.811 Unknown

Yeah, I'd say so. But, you know, I think he's all right. I don't think he's going to lose any sleep over that. I think that's a fair description.

0

488.891 - 500.462 Josh Widdicombe

I think that's a fair description. The greatest footballer we've ever produced. Come on, Harry, admit it. Your hair is the hair of a man who is 10 years older than you. That's fine. Yeah, exactly.

0

502.13 - 521.088 Unknown

And he's worked really hard because he was a bit, you know, written off at the start. Yeah. Anyway. So basically I hate myself. So if anything goes wrong, I sort of double down on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but we know that. I'm going over old ground here. So I've been battling those demons today because I've done it wrong and I pride myself on not doing it wrong. But hey-ho, that's life.

521.108 - 523.63 Unknown

We're here now, back into work. How's the cat's fannies?

525.092 - 526.133 Josh Widdicombe

Well, it's not their fannies.

526.513 - 530.276 Unknown

What is it? Do they sew it shut? They go in through the stomach.

530.737 - 530.837

Okay.

Chapter 5: How do Rob and Josh navigate the chaos of parenting during busy weeks?

702.982 - 726.936 Unknown

Has he written that? Yeah, no, he's got it. Someone's writing for him. Who's writing for Prince Charles? Because it was funny. It was funny. It's a good way to disarm what is quite a tense situation at the moment. Well, we could do with disarming the situation. But Trump's going mad. So you just basically, he needs to go in there. Do you know what? Up until now, he's been my kind of guy.

0

727.717 - 745.133 Unknown

It's just the last couple of weeks is too much for Bobby B. You know, everyone's had an opinion. And in my opinion, he's been absolutely fine until about a week and a half ago. And it was just a bit too much. But no, I think it's a good way to disarm it because you go in and be all charming. But you stand up for things you don't like.

0

745.153 - 753.621 Unknown

Because he said about Afghanistan where Trump before said, we never helped it, all that stuff. So he sort of hit back at all that, but then chucked in a few jokes. And the Americans love it, don't they?

0

754.057 - 774.083 Josh Widdicombe

Yeah, I'd love to know who's writing for the king. Because the odds are, if they have got a proper writer in... There will definitely be a script writer for the royals. We would probably know who that is if they've got a comedy writer in. It's a good joke as well. Yeah, that's not written by, like, a royal... Unless they send it off to punch it up.

0

774.884 - 787.003 Unknown

Yeah, who's getting the email? I'd love to know if anyone knows that. We won't name you, but if you've got any information on how that works, I'd love to know. But that's like the hardest culprit of all time, doing Congress in front of Trump.

787.763 - 800.055 Josh Widdicombe

My friend did a punch-up on a script. So I'm going to change some details here. Yeah. There was a musical of a film. Yeah, there's many of them. And then he got brought in. Sorry, my phone's going mental.

800.655 - 817.651 Unknown

No, what was I talking about? Oh, no, my daughter and the ghost share, right? So, like, if... You know, like... I'm basically too tired to argue with her and stuff. So the other morning, I said, I was doing some boiled eggs. I went, does anyone want any boiled eggs? I went, can we have dippy eggs? I went, no, we haven't really got time for that. I'll do some boiled ones.

817.671 - 835.667 Unknown

And if you want a hard boiled egg, you can have that. She was like, well, why would it take so much longer? I was like, well, because I have to do the toast and the butter. And she went, I've already got bread out to do my own toast. So all you've got to do is cook the eggs for less, actually, because they'll be dippy, not hard. If anything, it'll be quicker. And I'm stood there going, fuck it.

835.647 - 835.923

I'm sorry.

Chapter 6: What are the latest updates on their pets and their health?

1283.513 - 1299.357 Unknown

Let me hear it. So we've seen them. Mine turns up at the pub because of Instacart. So you imagine you're like eight pints deep and a load of footballs turn up at the pub, right? So I've got it. We're all pissing ourselves laughing because this is massive, right? So I'm thinking, oh, well, what I can try and do is ship it home or something. Yeah, that's what I'd think.

0

1299.377 - 1322.585 Unknown

Or bubble wrap it and put it in oversized luggage. Right, okay. I'm thinking that. Anyway, another bloke in the group sees it and knows he's wanted them before, knows how expensive they are if you resale them. I'm getting some as well. So he's drunk and he orders it as well from Instacart, okay? Yeah. His turn up, no balls in it. What? We're in a pub.

0

1322.645 - 1335.488 Unknown

He opens it, goes to look at it and it goes, there's no balls. So either someone stole the balls or they've been put out on display, but he's basically ordered this thing that's turned up with no balls in.

0

1335.704 - 1343.553 Josh Widdicombe

What do you do in that situation? That's a nightmare because you've got it on Instacart. Are you really going to go to Dick's Sporting Goods? Yeah. Did he?

0

1344.094 - 1360.193 Unknown

Well, because he rung Dick's Sporting Goods and they went, I'll bring it back and we'll refund you. Yeah. So anyway, what we do is, and then at this moment, while we're trying to work out what to do, I'm like, well, I've got mine. I'll just bobble wrap it. We find out that the balls are now available in the UK.

1360.173 - 1385.428 Unknown

on normal Adidas for the same price oh my god take them both back exactly so we try to take them both back to get our money back we get in there he's on one tail I'm on the other I can't get my money back because it's Instacart only store credit So now I'm in Dick's Sporting Goods, 5 o'clock on a Saturday, shit-faced, with $200 of store credit, right?

1385.448 - 1400.796 Unknown

So I'm going around, and I end up getting the bag I need, because I need a bag, right? So you haven't bought that yet? No, hadn't bought that yet because I thought I want to see how big the balls are so I can get, yeah. So now I'm trying to get a bag. Then I see him trying to buy stuff. Anyway, so he's buying stuff because I'm like, oh, he's probably having to spend his store credit.

1400.816 - 1416.614 Unknown

Anyway, so I buy some gifts for the kids, get some actual clothes I need for sport and stuff. I'll just do that now and get it. Yeah, fine. So anyway, I buy that. As we're leaving, I was like, oh, did they make you do store credit? He went, no, they gave me a full refund. I went, well, why the fuck were you buying stuff? He went, oh, I just wanted a top.

1416.634 - 1436.566 Unknown

I was like, well, I could have got you the top and you could have given me the money. So we go back to the pub and we all go. Have you got these balls? Let me finish the story. Okay. We get back to the pub. Between going to Dick's Sporting Goods and coming back and giving them back and me having to pay the store credit, they're sold out on the UK website. Oh, my God.

Chapter 7: How do Rob and Josh discuss the impact of their recent travels?

1438.469 - 1443.056 Unknown

I don't know. I just thought they were back in stock, but they're so popular.

0

1443.537 - 1445.64 Josh Widdicombe

Oh, my God. Are they back now?

0

1446.622 - 1455.628 Unknown

Well, in the end, I had to buy them from Spain. What? They're available on a Spanish website, and I just paid £40 delivery to get them.

0

1456.83 - 1469.327 Josh Widdicombe

Adidas World Cup ball set. Oh, they are small, aren't they? Yeah, the little ones. Oh, my God, Rob. And have they arrived? Yeah, I've got them. Do you want to see them or not? Yeah, of course. Sorry, I was just looking at whether I could buy some.

0

1470.91 - 1477.659 Unknown

It's like a disease. Everyone's addicted to buying them. Hang on. See my balls?

1478.04 - 1478.2

Awesome.

1478.888 - 1479.669 Unknown

Can you see my box?

1479.689 - 1480.791 Josh Widdicombe

What are you going to do with it?

1481.071 - 1493.649 Unknown

Keep it up, please. Put it up on a presentation box. I don't know, but look. So are you going to keep them in the box? I don't know, mate. I've only just got them. This is the first time I've looked at them. I've not even checked if they're all there.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.