Passion Struck with John R. Miles
Dr. Zelana Montminy on the Science of Meaningful Happiness | EP 686
06 Nov 2025
Chapter 1: What does Dr. Zelana Montminy believe about building happiness?
coming up next on passion struck we're always going to have things that are thrown at us so that's inevitable having the noise of life consume us so the real work is in the micro habits the day-to-day functions that we employ the boundaries that we cultivate around our days and our time in order to choose how to respond to things versus just be super super reactive so most of the time people
have content and information coming at them, it all feels very urgent. Our brain is in fight or flight. Someone else's emergency is also ours. And it becomes very sort of nebulous and contagious, right?
Welcome to PassionStruck. I'm your host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore the art of human flourishing and what it truly means to live like it matters.
Each week, I sit down with changemakers, creators, scientists, and everyday heroes to decode the human experience and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest expression of who we're capable of becoming.
Whether you're designing your future, developing as a leader, or seeking deeper alignment in your life, this show is your invitation to grow with purpose and act with intention. Because the secret to a life of deep purpose, connection, and impact is choosing to live like you matter. Welcome back, friends, to Passion Struck episode 686. I'm your host, John Miles, and I am so glad you're here.
Whether you're a longtime listener or joining for the first time, welcome. You're part of a growing movement to live intentionally and to create a world where people feel seen, valued, and like they truly matter.
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Chapter 2: How can discomfort lead to personal growth?
If this show has ever helped you take a step toward that life, here's how you can help it grow. Share this episode with someone who needs it. Leave a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It's the best way to help others discover these conversations.
And lastly, join our rapidly growing community hub at theignitedlife.net, my sub stack where I share weekly frameworks, workbooks, reflections, and behind the scenes insights to help you live with greater purpose and connection. This week, we launched our brand new series, The Irreplaceables, rediscovering human worth in an age of acceleration.
In a world where machines are getting faster, smarter, and more capable, what truly sets us apart? This series explores qualities that no algorithm can replicate. empathy, imagination, integrity, and love, and why our humanity itself is our ultimate competitive edge.
Earlier this week, Dr. Zach Seidler helped us explore what happens when disconnection erodes our sense of belonging, especially among men, and how reclaiming vulnerability and friendship can literally save lives. Today, we turn that conversation inward to the disconnection that happens inside us.
In a culture that glorifies productivity, hacks, and optimization, many of us are quietly losing the ability to simply be present. We meditate, journal, track, and measure our every move, yet somehow feel more fractured than ever. As my guest today says, our pursuit of wellness has become performative, and in trying so hard to be well, we've forgotten how to actually feel alive.
To impact why this is happening and what we can do about it, I'm joined by Dr. Zelina Mominy, behavioral scientist, psychologist, and author of the brand new book, Finding Focus, Own Your Attention in an Age of Distraction.
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Chapter 3: What are the four pillars of emotional fitness?
A former television contributor and researcher turned thought leader on emotional wellbeing, Dr. Z blends science, storytelling, and soul to help us reclaim the most precious human resources we have, our attention. In today's conversation, we explore why the pursuit of wellness and sometimes make us sick. The three focus thieves that quietly drain our energy.
How to replace multitasking with meaningful attention and why learning to trust ourselves through what she calls tiny trust is the real key to freedom and fulfillment. This isn't just about productivity. It's about presence and how to rediscover the wonder of being here now. Before we begin, a quick reminder.
My new children's book, You Matter, Luma, the first story in the mattering verse, is now available for presale at Barnes & Noble or wherever books are sold. Links will be in the show notes. It's a story for ages four to eight about courage, kindness, and the ripple effect of knowing you matter. Now, let's step into episode 686. Finding Focus in an Age of Distraction with Dr. Zelina Momini.
Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.
Chapter 4: How does our modern culture contribute to distraction?
I am so excited today to have Zelina Momini on PassionStruck. Welcome, Zelina. How are you today?
I'm doing great. So happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
I'm so excited to have you here as well. I thought I would start with this question. I was hoping you might be able to take us back to that UCLA classroom where a student whispers, I'm doing everything right and I feel frozen. What did you hear beneath those words and how did that moment change your approach?
I love that question. I think you're referring to my Oprah essay, right? It was actually extremely powerful. So we have a collection of moments in our lives that we can point to that were internally gave pause or some sort of transformative element. And I had just finished lecturing about and talking to the graduate students about burnout and anxiety and
Chapter 5: What are the three focus thieves that drain our energy?
the attention crisis that we're all living in. And she just looked so hopeless. And I think that's what stuck with me the most. And then the echoes that followed. And she just looked at me because everyone always asks me like, okay, so what's the one thing I need to be doing? What's the secret? As if wellness or mental health has this one thing. Goodness, if it did, we would all be in it. But
They try, right? So she said, she just looked at me. She said, I'm literally doing, I don't know where to start. I have every single thing on my to-do list and the red lights and the saunas and the green juice and the therapy. Like I don't even, and it's expensive and I can't afford it all. And I don't know what I'm doing.
Chapter 6: How can we cultivate psychological flexibility?
And I just can't be well without it. And she was just like so broken about it. And then I started to hear, oh yeah, me too. Me too. Another guy, me. Oh my God. Yeah, me too. I don't know where to start. I don't know. I don't know. And it's just, it was like this group formed around me, like bees to honey. What do we do? How do we even start?
And it dawned on me that, and I knew this and I felt this in myself over the years. And I certainly did write about this, that our pursuit of wellness and being well is
Chapter 7: What role does attention play in our relationships?
And the actual performative element of it has actually barricaded us from being truly well. And that we need to spend much less time trying to hit the to-do lists and the products that are being pitched and much more time about actually being alive in the moments that we're living.
As I was looking at your background, you live at this intersection of science and storytelling. You're a clinician, you're a researcher, you're a TV contributor, you're an author, you're a consultant, you're a mom. I was like, wow. How do you deal with your own personal tension between performing wellness yourself and feeling well?
Listen, I think that's a really profound question. And I think you've hit sort of the heart of my work is that I'm a human being. So yes, I study these things and I work with clients, but I'm always trying to narrate the chaos of being human right now and make sense of it. And so I hope that I speak to
The narrative truths that we all feel, but maybe just don't know how to name or that we, and I think that's why some of my social content has really gone viral and been so well accepted is that it's. I'm talking about the things that every single one of us knows and lives, but maybe doesn't know exactly how to say it.
And so throughout my days, I understand that life is cyclical and that we live through seasons of time and that nothing really is forever. And I don't mean that like in a saccharine way. People aren't forever.
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Chapter 8: How can we implement tiny trusts in our daily lives?
Actually, our experiences are. our timelines. If we're going through struggles with one kid, that's going to pass. It's really tough in the thick of it, but I also know people are like this and we go through things. And I think being a parent actually illuminates that very clearly because we think something's really problematic and then it's like a week or two later, it just fizzles away.
And so I think leaning into those cycles and the seasonality of it is something that I do in order to get through and use what I know and what I preach in my own life. And I also think, honestly, I don't subscribe to balance. And I know that's a bit counterintuitive. I don't think balance exists. I think it's a hard metric.
And I think when people talk about balance, they're probably not using the word accurately enough. But for me and for so many of my clients, it's much more about What are we prioritizing? How does that match our value system and our intentions for that day or that week? And some weeks, like my work will take precedent.
Like right now, my book came out and that's taking time away from my kids and my family, but I'm aligned in that. I'm okay with that. I don't feel shame about that. And then some weeks, my kids or some days, my kids or my spouse or my dog. So I think it's so much less about trying to be balanced, the scale to be balanced and much more about am I doing what lights me up?
Do I find purpose in anything? Am I actually remembering what I'm doing and am I attuned and intentional about those moments?
Well, that's one of the reasons I wanted to have you on this show so much is the podcast is really about the power of intentionality and the importance of being present in your life. So your brand new book, which came out in September, Finding Focus, Own Your Attention in an Age of Distraction, really hits that head on the nail. Why did you think now was the right time for the book?
Well, I think that there hasn't been a more urgent time to talk about the epidemic of distraction. I believe that we're really living through a global crisis where our nervous systems are entirely overloaded by constant input. Technology and our sort of productivity culture that glorifies like constant busyness has essentially rewired our brain completely.
for task switching and fragmentation, which leaves us emotionally exhausted. We have tons of unresolved grief and it's really eroding our capacity to sustain attention, to be present for ourselves and each other. And so we live through this, like this world of disconnection and depletion. And so that's why I wrote the book because our attention has been hijacked and
as someone else's profit margin. But the cost isn't just productivity, which most people think about when they think about focus. It's actually the real cost. The more expensive cost is the presence, the empathy, and the meaning that we've lost touch with.
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