How to Believe in Yourself When Everyone Tells You “You Can’t” | Cole Brauer - EP 820

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How did Cole’s early life and family background shape her belief that she could defy others’ limits?

John R. Miles 0:00

What happens when you hit rock bottom? When someone tells you you're too small, when you're cut from the team, when the dream you've sacrificed everything for suddenly feels like it's slipping away. Most people would take that as a sign to stop. Cole Brower took it as a sign to keep going. She was told she was too small to compete in the southern ocean. And years later she was sailing solo around the world. And when I asked her What she tells herself first When everything falls apart. Her answer stopped me. Take a less.

Cole Brouwer 0:38

When you hit rock bottom is exactly what I need to go back up. Well I'm at the bottom, all I can do is go up. I can't really go any lower. I wish I didn't have to hit rock bottom to find exactly where I am going in life, but maybe that's kind of the beauty of it too.

John R. Miles 0:54

Hey, it's your friend John, and welcome to Passion Struck. I'm so glad you're here. Whether you're a longtime listener or someone who just discovered the show, thank you for pressing play today. Maybe you've built the life you were supposed to want, but you've quietly wondered why it still doesn't feel like enough. If that's you, you're in the right place. Every week, I sit down with the world's top scientists, researchers, and thinkers to uncover what it actually takes to build an intentional life that matters. Thanks for joining me. Let's get into it. Welcome back to Passion Struck. This is episode 820, and we're continuing our series The Adaptive Brain. How we thrive in a changing world. Over the past conversations, we've been looking at adaptation from very different angles.

John R. Miles 1:51

Angela Duckworth challenged us to look beyond grid. And recognize how profoundly the people, places, and situations around us shape who we become. Then Dr. Marty Seligman took us deeper into the question of agency, the belief that our actions can actually make a difference. And last Thursday, David Epstein helped us to rethink what it means to adapt in an unpredictable world. But there's a point where ideas stop becoming theories. They have to be lived. So what happens when adaptation isn't something you can talk about in a book or study in a laboratory? What happens when you're thousands of miles from land? Completely alone in the decisions you make. Have consequences you can't escape. That's where today's conversation takes us.

John R. Miles 2:45

My guest is Cole Brower and her story is extraordinary. Cole became the first American woman. To race solo nonstop and unassisted around the world. She spent more than 130 days at sea, covering roughly 27,000 nautical miles aboard her 40-foot sailboat, First Light. But what makes Cole's story so compelling isn't simply the achievement. It's everything that came before it. Cole wasn't born into sailing. She didn't grow up believing this was the path her life could take. She tried different identities, changed directions, moved across the country, lived in a van, taught herself the systems of a boat, and repeatedly found herself in situations where other people told her she didn't belong. At one point she was cut from a team.

John R. Miles 3:38

and told she was too short for the southern ocean. A year later she was sailing around the world alone. And that brings us back to one of the deepest questions we've been exploring throughout this series. Who do we become when the circumstances around us tell us that we can't? Cole's story is a powerful reminder. That sometimes the world doesn't immediately reflect back what we're capable of. Sometimes you have to believe it before anyone else does. And sometimes you have to get in the boat and find out. I am so excited for you to hear this conversation with Cole Brouwer. Let's dive in. Thank you for choosing Passion Struck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life that matters.

John R. Miles 4:22

Now. Let that journey begin.

Unknown 4:27

Mm-hmm.

John R. Miles 4:30

I am absolutely thrilled to welcome Cole Brouwer to Passion Struck. Cole, it is so great to see you.

Cole Brouwer 4:37

Thanks for having me. I'm super excited.

John R. Miles 4:40

Cole, we're here to discuss primarily your brand new book. First light. But before we get into the book, I'd love to introduce you to our audience because your story is extraordinary.

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Chapters

8 chapters

1 How did Cole’s early life and family background shape her belief that she could defy others’ limits? 0:00–8:45 2 What pivotal moment led Cole to leave art school, move to Hawaii, and discover sailing? 8:45–16:24 3 How did Cole transition from a college sailing team to becoming the first American woman to race solo nonstop around the world? 16:24–24:39 4 What mental and emotional challenges did Cole face during the first two weeks of her solo race, and how did she cope with loneliness and anxiety? 24:39–32:37 5 Why did Cole choose to protect her boat First Light instead of pushing for a win when two massive storms hit near Cape Horn? 32:37–39:43 6 How did the relationship with First Light become a mirror for Cole’s self‑discovery and personal growth? 39:43–45:48 7 What lessons did Cole learn about purpose, gratitude, and community after completing her solo circumnavigation? 45:48–54:36 8 What advice does Cole give to young people—especially girls—who want to pursue a seemingly impossible dream? 54:36–1:08:25

Speakers

1 identified

John R. Miles 18 min

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Recorded15 Sep 2026

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Show notes

What happens when someone tells you that you're too small to do the thing you've been working toward your entire life?For Cole Brauer, that moment could have been the end of the story. Instead, it became part of the beginning. Cole was told she was too short to compete in the Southern Ocean. She was cut from a major team after traveling across the Atlantic and giving up paid opportunities to pursue the dream. A year later, she was sailing solo around the world.But what makes Cole's story so compelling isn't simply the achievement. It's everything she had to become along the way.Cole grew up in a small town on Long Island, moved across the country, changed academic and career directions, lived in a van, taught herself the mechanical, electrical, and rigging systems of a boat, and eventually found a community and a purpose through sailing.Then came the ultimate test: more than 130 days alone at sea.She talks openly about the loneliness and anxiety that hit her roughly two weeks into the voyage, when the team and community she had relied on suddenly disappeared. Instead of trying to suppress those feelings, she learned to understand them, participate in nature, take care of her body, and keep moving forward.Cole also shares why she chose her boat over the possibility of winning when she encountered two massive storms near Cape Horn, why First Light became more than a vessel to her, and how that relationship ultimately became a mirror through which she learned to see herself differently.In this conversation, we explore:What to do when someone else's definition of you becomes a limitation you start believing yourself.Why Cole sees rock bottom not simply as failure, but as a place from which you can begin climbing again.How purpose can sustain you when money, fame, and recognition aren't enough.Why Cole believes our lives aren't predetermined and that we can restart far more times than we think.What four months alone at sea taught her about loneliness, anxiety, self-care, and self-trust.Why nature became one of Cole's greatest teachers and helped make the unpredictable feel more understandable.How she learned to separate emotional reactions from the decisions she needed to make in moments of crisis.Why she chose to protect First Light rather than risk the boat for a chance at winning near Cape Horn.How gratitude helped her recognize the people who made the journey possible.Why the solo journey wasn't the end of Cole's transformation, but the beginning of discovering who she really was. Cole's story is ultimately a reminder that adaptation isn't always about becoming someone new. Sometimes it's about discovering who you were capable of becoming all along. And sometimes the people who tell you that you can't are simply showing you the limits of their imagination.As Cole says, when someone tells you there's no way you can do something, sometimes the only answer is: "Yeah, okay. Just watch me."Get the Full Shownotes Pre-Order The Mattering Effect: https://matteringeffect.com/. Take the 90-second diagnostic to see if you're disappearing.Explore the Show: https://passionstruck.com/starter-packs/. New to Passion Struck? Start with the best episodes curated for you.Connect with JohnWebsite: https://johnrmiles.comBook John to Speak: https://johnrmiles.com/speaking/Substack: https://www.theignitedlife.net/Children’s Book — You Matter, Luma: https://youmatterluma.com/Support the Movement: https://startmattering.com/. Every human deserves to feel seen, valued, and like they matter. Wear it. Live it. Show it.Passion Struck — #1 Alternative Health Podcast. 85M+ downloads.DisclaimerThe Passion Struck podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Passion Struck or its affiliates. This podcast is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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