In this powerful and deeply honest episode, Eve sits down with Xanet Pailet — former healthcare attorney turned sex and intimacy coach, bestselling author, and retreat leader. After leaving a 20+ year marriage that had become largely sexless, Xanet began a transformative journey of healing sexual shame, trauma, and emotional disconnection. At age 50, she realized that desire doesn’t disappear because of aging or hormones — it fades when emotional safety erodes, communication shuts down, and the body stops feeling invited into the relationship. Together, Eve and Xanet explore how to rebuild intimacy after a sexless marriage, repair emotional ruptures, heal trauma, and redefine sex beyond penetration to create lasting connection and pleasure. Topics Covered Emotional safety as the foundation of sexual intimacy Why repair is critical in long-term relationships The impact of childhood shame and medical trauma on desire Healing sexual shutdown through tantra and embodied practices Expanding the definition of sex beyond penetration Navigating erectile dysfunction with compassion and creativity Mutual masturbation and alternative intimacy practices How to start difficult conversations about sex Touching for your own pleasure to build erotic connection Intimacy Equation QuizA playful conversation starter to explore your intimacy style: https://howtoimprovemylovelife.com Website & Retreats: https://passionateintimacyretreats.com Books: Living an Orgasmic Life The Sex & Intimacy Repair Kit Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org. Website:https://pleaseme.online Social Media & Contact:https://pleaseme.online/contacts Substack Newsletter:https://pleaseme.substack.com Patreon – Ad-Free Episodes & Bonus Content:https://patreon.com/PleaseMePodcast Be a Guest on Please Me:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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