Lauren and Chan are so excited to be chatting with Heather Dubrow from Real Housewives of Orange County! They dive into the double standards of plastic surgery, and what constitutes a sexy upgrade vs. a taboo procedure (1:26). Heather shares her wisdom on becoming the best version of yourself (3:46), getting through tough parenting stages (8:55), and raising children who are grateful instead of entitled (13:19). Heather talks about her marriage and her advice on nurturing a long-term relationship(20:23). She gives the exclusive scoop on her and Terry’s living situation and what is next for their home (30:04). Heather mentions it all, down to opening up about the tweaks and procedures she has had done and which practitioners she would recommend (36:07). Heather dishes on her diet and exercise regiment, including what has been the biggest game changer in her life (40:30). Finally, Heather answers some rapid-fire questions, including her thoughts on Tamra’s RHOC antics, a behind the scenes peek at Housewives production, and what she is working on next (44:37). Shop Clean Simple Eats protein powder a nd use code POPAPOLOGISTS for 10% off! Click here to try EarlyBird CBD/THC gummies and use code POP20 for 20% off. To support the show, consider subscribing on Patreon or on Apple Podcasts, where yo u can get a bonus episode of Pop Apologists every Friday! Please note this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What exclusive scoop does Heather have about her new house?
We would be remiss if we did not ask about the new house.
Yeah.
And what the vibe is going to be. Is there going to be a YouTube series? Is there going to be a champagne wall? Is there going to be a wrapping room?
I'm going to give you the scoop. Yes! Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
So here's the scoop.
Well, well, well. This is a long awaited day on Pop Apologist because fresh from the French driven snow is the one and only Heather Dubrow. Thank you so much for being here.
No, thank you guys for being here. Thanks for coming in.
It's a dream come true. Also, I want to say that, you know, you might actually recognize Lauren's voice. This is not, you know, the first time you have been on a radio show together because Lauren was a dedicated listener and caller of Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig. Seriously. How many times did you call in, Lauren? A few. I got some free consultations from Terry. How did that go?
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Chapter 2: What insights does Heather share on becoming your best self?
Like, boobs are okay. Yeah, like... But people won't talk about... Right. Right.
Cause that's embarrassing. It's like, there's like sexy upgrades and then there's like, you were wrong to begin with.
Yeah.
It's a fix it versus an upgrade it.
Yeah, man. That sucks. I totally get it though. Yeah.
Yeah. But you know, honestly, I also feel like I don't regret keeping a few things to myself because I share way too much. So I have a few secrets, you know, it's my luxury.
And also on the flip side of it, I don't feel like you have to tell. Thank you. And what I really don't like, and I told Andy Cohen this recently, it's like, stop asking people if they're on Ozempic. Right. I mean, do you ask people if they're on a heart medicine or a diabetes drug or whatever? It's OK. let people do what they want to do.
And as long as they're being healthy about it and have a good doctor, why does anyone care?
Right. Right. Well, my thing also is like, so some people naturally just like their bodies physiologically don't need extra GLP one or whatever it is. And so why do the people whose bodies maybe do need a little bit of help? Like we don't ask people, Oh, you're happy today. Are you on some SSRIs? Like, why are we asking about the, all the augmentations possible? It's just no one's business.
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Chapter 3: How can parents get through tough stages with their kids?
Yeah.
Now we write it on the phone. But what's really interesting about that is doing a year in review is so important, either as a couple or just by yourself, about your health and wellness, about your career, about your personal relationships, and really see what happened. And I know, for me, I am already doing that and thinking, okay, well, why did I not feel like myself during this?
Even on the show this last season that aired, I look at some of the episodes and I don't even sound like me. Interesting. And I don't know if it was because coming off the season before when everyone was coming after me, I wasn't sure of my relationships. I'm not really sure why that is. Or maybe it was other external things in my life that were just affecting me that way, but I didn't like it.
And so that is something I've had to look at and move forward with. Yeah. I think...
you know saying you want to better yourself is a great thing no one's perfect yeah and we have to release some of this perfection thing and this ultimate goal and I think smaller wins need to be celebrated yeah and also the I will be fill in the blank happy whatever when I get to this fill in the blank thing you can't do that because your life is happening right now and I know that sounds so trite and whatever but
It's true. It's true. And if you're not enjoying your day-to-day, you're not enjoying your life. You're just in a holding pattern waiting. And what if it never happens, that one thing? And then what if you get that one thing and it wasn't the thing that's going to make you happy? So look, I have anxiety. I've always had anxiety. It's gotten worse, 20s, 30s, better 40s, 50s. Really?
And I think some of it has to do with getting older and the confidence, but also there's little tricks, right? So when I get up in the morning and I'm feeling a kind of way, and I think, ugh, what do I have to do today? I go, no, no, no, no. What do I get to do today? Thank you. At the end of a hot Pilates class, which I'm obsessed with now, I have such a moment of gratitude.
For me and my family and my kids, it's all about the gratitude.
Yeah, yeah. No, that's so important.
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Chapter 4: What advice does Heather give for long-term relationships?
of that trip was that pink Jeep tour and that amazing guy that drove us and the crazy ups and downs of it and laughing. Right.
Well, it's not a zero sum game when you're, you know, like, yeah. Especially when you're traveling with kids. I'm curious. I remember. So Heather, I know so much about you because I truly, we both do. I love it. I listened to Heather Dubrow's world, Doctor Who's Skinny Pig. And so anyway, I remember when the teenagers were more assholes.
yeah they had those times but it seems like those times have gone yeah right and so I'm so curious like how long did that last how you kind of got through it because now seeing them on the show with you it's just so sweet how much they clearly are obsessed with you and like enjoy you and so I'm just curious like if you maybe you can give some hope to moms listening who are dealing with that
I think it's different for everyone. Because people would scare me, oh, wait till your daughters are 16. They're going to be awful. That's not when it is. It starts younger, and I think 11, 12-ish to 14, 15. With girls? With both. All of them. Oh, yeah. Boys get douchey, too. I don't care what anyone says. They all become assholes.
And there were times where we were like, yeah, no family dinner, no this, no that, not taking a trip. I probably forced the trip anyway. But yeah, you have to just get through it. And it's difficult. The good thing to know is there is light at the end of the tunnel. And when they come back, they get it. And they'll joke about it now. Yeah, I was a jerk. Yeah, I remember.
It's really like that sixth, seventh, eighth, and maybe a part of ninth. Again, it varies child to child. But I'll take Max and Nikki for an example now. They just turned 21. Yeah. I was telling my sister what we were doing for their 21st birthday. She goes, they want to do that? And I was like, yeah. No, they're excited. It was the best weekend ever. Ever. And it was with us.
Yeah. It was a Saint Tropez.
No, we went to New York. Yeah. So it was three days in New York. So they both had friends with them. We were a group of 10 and we did like this insane carbone dinner. And then we did this fun thing at this restaurant, Maison club party on dancing on the table, crazy party. And then we did on their actual birthday, this lunch in our hotel suite and
The family joined, and it was like a six-hour... Incredible. There was vendors there and things to do and eating and drinking, and it was so much fun. But they wanted to be with us. Yeah, totally. Which is amazing. Which is so cool.
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Chapter 5: What are Heather's thoughts on plastic surgery?
I feel like, okay, dovetailing on this like kids and experiences question. One of the questions, one of our listeners wrote in, and I think that it's very particular to you. How do you raise like good motivated kids that can stay some level of grounded when they have these like crazy experiences and they have parents who have achieved so much?
And how do you protect them from a pressure to even someday match their parents' success?
Or outdo it? That second one, I don't know. I really don't. The first one I'll tell you, there's nature and nurture. Nature plays a lot into it. They come out the way they come out. But I sort of fucked up when they were younger. There weren't chores, and I don't know. I had four kids in seven years. There were too many of them, and they were at different school. It was just a lot.
So I didn't really do that. But somehow managed to keep them grounded. They are very normal, down-to-earth kids, even with the houses that we live in and the places we go. I think it comes down to gratitude. And even though Terry and I didn't grow up like this with the staff and the houses and the things, We're so grateful. We never take anything for granted.
And I think our kids have modeled that. But you know what's interesting about them also is that they're even more sensitive. to things. Like, I guess Terry feels he's, you know, he came from nothing. And I know there's rumors on the internet that his brother left him money or, like, none of that's true.
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Chapter 6: What is Heather’s diet and exercise game changer?
By the way, Terry's mother is still alive, so if he had had anything, it would have gone to her. But anyway, so, no. We've made all of our money and have been very grateful for all of our success. But for him, he feels like he's worked so hard his whole life, he expects things to be a certain way. And I'm not saying he's rude or anything, but he wants to sit at a certain table at a restaurant.
He would expect a certain room, if you're paying a certain amount of money, at a hotel. And if it's not a great room, he would ask to switch rooms. Yeah. My kids are very much like, no, no, it's fine. Right. No, it's fine. No, no, thank you so much. That's good. They're really very much like that.
And so I have tried to tell them it's okay to ask for what you want as long as you're asking for it in a respectful way.
Especially when you're paying a lot of money. It's not like you're asking for things that you don't need to pay for. 100%. Okay, I have something kind of controversial to say and probably a little gauche to say.
Say it.
And I love it when you go gauche. I'm going off script. I'm going rogue right now. But I feel like the experience of having all these experiences for the first time, right? Being someone who works from a place and gets to a different place. Not that we're anywhere near anything. But I feel like that's more of our experience, right?
We've been able to gain some experiences as adults through our own hard work. We're a little bit more like, oh, wow, this is crazy. Am I jaded? No, I just feel like it's like more fun to be an adult with that experience than to grow up with everything on some level.
Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying.
Because you're like in awe.
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Chapter 7: How does Heather maintain gratitude in her life?
And I feel like on our podcast, I've shared a little bit of just the ways I am like kind of can be a little doting and enjoy that. And I feel like sometimes I've gotten in trouble for that.
Oh, yeah. Because it's what did they call it now? A what mom? Trad wife. Is that short for traditional? I think so. Yeah. Trad wife. You're there. You're getting trad wife shamed.
Yeah, I'm getting, like, I'm giving trad wife vibes, and I'm not a good enough feminist. And even though, like, I have my own business, and I very much, like, you know, I take care of my husband because he takes such good care of me.
Right. Well, that's the thing. Well, first of all, I have to just fix something. I never put toothpaste on his toothbrush. That was my son. Oh. Because boys don't brush their teeth at a certain age, and it's disgusting. However, I do things for Terry. Yeah. Like, I used to pack for him. I don't anymore.
I mean, honestly, luckily, we have someone that is sort of, has filled that particular pot of all role, which I really enjoy.
and honestly i don't care that much and he wear whatever i just go back this many nights whatever and whatever he has and if you looked at my instagram i was gonna say the two different shoes he had two different black shoes i was just happy he had a right and a left oh my gosh that's all like how does that happen but yeah i do things for him that he loves i mean dumb things like i'll we love our we have an electric blanket obsessed i like it to be snowing in the room and warm in the blanket
And I will go in and I will just turn that thing on for him so that when he gets in the bed, it's all warm and delicious. Silly things like that. But I think what you're talking about is back in the day when we would have the kids and it would be like Christmas day, we'd go to a buffet and I would make a plate for him. Yeah, yeah. And I don't mind ever doing that.
I mean, okay. That actually was a pro tip I gave on our Patreon exclusive.
Really?
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Chapter 8: What parenting strategies does Heather recommend for raising grounded kids?
And I said to Terry, I go, maybe we should do that. I don't know. Like, is that a thing? And then I got nervous because I thought, well, is it going to open up like a can of worms? Is this a bad plan? Like, so far, I feel like we're doing okay. And so what we did was, I go, well, maybe we need to sit down and have our own
therapy session and just like sit down, talk about whatever we need to talk about and just leave it at the door. And we did that. And that was helpful.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah.
And I think couple therapy can be a situation where it's like, we can reach for it if we need it. If we don't, it doesn't need to be like, I don't see couple therapy, hopefully for myself as something that is a weekly, even a monthly thing. It's like, if you're going through a tough patch, talk to a professional.
If not, you know, sometimes I do think it can be like, you know, I don't need to think this week about what my partner did wrong. I almost, like, you don't need to, like, go back in that way.
Right, on a weekly basis. Like, you have nothing to say this week, so.
Exactly.
Yeah, let's pick at something. Yes. Right. Yeah. See, that's what.
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