Pretending to be People
Episodes
S2E96 - Q&A: Part One // Mister Ssippi
19 Apr 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This is the first Q&A episode (of two) to end Season Two. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along o...
S2E95 - It's Showtime, Kiddo (Final Finale)
31 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This is the finale of Season Two. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along on Bluesky. Find other ...
S2E94 - The News Brothers (Finale: Part One)
13 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The actual penultimate episode of Season Two is here. It's Part One of a Two-Part Finale! Definitely the next episode is the last one, I don't know wh...
S2E93 - I Know What I Have To Do
27 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
The penultimate episode of Season Two finds Algernon, Beck, and Cal scattered, covered, and smothered. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at...
S2E92 - God Has Left This World, But the Devil Hasn't (with Scott Dorward)
14 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Some fight. Some flee. Some freeze. So get ready to fawn. Alternate titles include: Strong Sartorial Opinions Probably Pretty Cool and Brutal Footage ...
S2E91 - The Absence of The Lord (with Scott Dorward)
31 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back. Alternate titles include: As Last Words Go You're In the South Now Look At Me, I'm a Raincloud Cal-mulonimbus The Ol' Mom Spit A Horribl...
S2E90 - I Think This Is All Just Your Bad Dream (with Scott Dorward and Ellinor DiLorenzo)
17 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
Did you get got? 833, 834, 835... This episode features Scott Dorward from The Good Friends of Jackson Elias and Ellinor DiLorenzo from The Los...
Patreon Bonus // The Quiet Year: Part One, Spring and Summer // Well and With Wet Balls
03 Jan 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This here formerly-exclusive episode is the first of two sessions we played of The Quiet Year, a collaborative map building game that we absolutely f...
S2E89 - I Think I Beefed It (with Scott Dorward and Ellinor DiLorenzo)
19 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Time to see who listens closely. Those who do will understand. Mostly. Alternative titles include: Equality and Dads More Blood Magic Wish For War, Pl...
S2E88 - Why Do You Think It's Called The Equatorial (with Scott Dorward)
06 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alternative titles include: What About A World... She's a Beautiful Bird Diggory Was Always Wrong We're Brainstorming This episode features Scott Dor...
S2E87 - The I.D.I.O.T. Feature (with Scott Dorward)
22 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alternative titles include: Turns Out There's One Right God An Acceptable Compromise Everybody's Full Father Figure You Are Magic Man Mast Vajority Th...
S2E86 - A Million Dead Penguins (with Scott Dorward)
08 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
One Cattle After Another would work as an episode title, but no one said it. Though I don't think that movie was out yet when we recorded this episode...
S2E85 - Beck M**** Wilder (with Scott Dorward)
24 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Can The Bastard stop The Dastard? Fird ord nord! This episode features Scott Dorward from The Good Friends of Jackson Elias. Support the show on Patr...
S2E84 - Bro
11 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Expanded City Action News Team tours the Fred Factory. Alternate titles include: A Regret of God Horndog for Raw Footage Cryptopods Full of NFT ...
October 2025 Announcement
02 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
IT'S CHARITY MONTH AT 694.2 PTBP! Join the charity drive over on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along on Bluesky. ...
S2E83 - 6
28 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Shoutout to Giboticus on Discord for the episode title suggestion -- nailed it. Alternate titles include: Deep in the Beer River City Life is Beautifu...
S2E82 - You're a Straight Shooter, Brock
13 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's dire; coming down to the wire. Will our "heroes" expire before they acquire what they desire? Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the...
S2E81 - He Oozes Daddy
30 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Algernon, Beck, Cal, Diggory, and Stevie make their way down to Daddy's. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store...
S2E80 - Bind the Hands at Sea
16 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: The Truth is What Happens RACECAR Magicians are Dweebs Join the Na'vi Unless You Want Daddy to Come Support the show on Pat...
Patreon Bonus // Nice Marines // The Space Marine Parade: Sponsored by The Chads and The Fancy Head Boys
09 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We'll be back next week with more Season Two! In the meantime, please enjoy this here formerly-exclusive episode from our Patreon feed where Zach ru...
S2E79 - A Town of Walt Disneys
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: The Antarctic Attic Fan Before We Save the World…We've Gotta Save the World Snowmo(de)bile Noodles! I'm Not Like Other Hom...
Operation: Upstream Church // Part Five (with Travis McElroy)
12 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Y'all want a climax? A dirty denouement? A randy resolution? Well get ready to finish. This episode features Travis McElroy from The Adventure Zone. S...
Operation: Upstream Church // Part Four (with Travis McElroy)
05 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Can the team rally? Will they fight the threat? Is this the finale? Not quite yet! This episode features Travis McElroy from The Adventure Zone. Su...
Operation: Upstream Church // Part Three (with Travis McElroy)
28 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A game of sardines isn't the only thing fishy going on at The Collector's game night. This episode features Travis McElroy from The Adventure Zone....
S2E78 - Amundsen-Scott: sYES Mobile (with Sydney Amanuel)
21 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? It's a race on the ice, and Hubie's an afterthought. This episode featu...
Operation: Upstream Church // Part Two (with Travis McElroy)
13 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Trauma is shared. Billy gets scared. But this one kicks off with a couple pins spared. This episode features Travis McElroy from The Adventure Zone. S...
S2E77 - Amundsen-Scott: ThingINT (with Sydney Amanuel)
07 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In the wake of a tragic loss, some bros bring fire sauce. But how do you kill a monster born from bathypelagic frost? This episode features Sydney Am...
Operation: Upstream Church // Part One (with Travis McElroy)
30 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Time to meet Milton Hogben and the mysterious blood cabal, Dr. Maynard Ouzo and the alien cloth from the alien in the closet, Randy Matthewson as the ...
S2E76 - Amundsen-Scott: Should We Call the Norwegians? (with Sydney Amanuel)
24 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Everything is covered in frost. The Thing is referenced at any cost. And, unfortunately, a crew member is lost. This episode features Sydney Amanuel ...
S2E75 - Amundsen-Scott: The Storm is Snow Bad (with Sydney Amanuel)
13 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Meet Melvin Grace, Jim Olsson, Hubie Forster, and Renee "Ray" Mackay as they overwinter at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Station on a totally...
S2E74 - Wet Lens!
26 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: The Day the Ball Stopped Rolling FBI, CIA, A24 Macrohard Dudes Two Scoils Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at t...
S2E73 - Atnas Sualc
12 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Where is The City? Let's all figure it out at the same exact time! Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow...
S2E72 - Ramp-isode
28 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The plot moves much further than the City Action News Team's feet. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow...
S2E71 - The Mystery of Diggory Island
19 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains descriptions of self-harm and body horror. Alternate episode titles: Psychedelic Tonsil Stone, We've Got a Scoo...
S2E70 - Fifty Cent Dog Nights
01 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dr. Brock Hargrave leads the C.A.N. Crew into the eye of the storm. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Resea...
S2E69 - There Will Be Blood
14 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Inside the fog, the C.A.N. Crew faces defeat, death, and a doctor. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow...
S2E68 - An Emissary Approaches
07 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How will the C.A.N. Crew evade the military patrolling The Burbs and manning the new comms towers on their way through the fog into The City? Well, it...
S2E67 - Good Luck With Military
25 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What is waiting for the C.A.N. Crew when the C.A.N. Van makes its way back to The City? Find out now! Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at t...
S2E66 - Jackfruit Frog Island: And Then We Just Walk Home (with Scott Dorward)
11 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome to the end. Will Fletch figure out why his crush ran away? Will The Jackalope Kid become an American hero? Will Abbadon Skimpole find the secr...
S2E65 - Jackfruit Frog Island: Now the Real Work Begins (with Scott Dorward)
27 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
P.P. Heaviside, Fletch, Abbadon Skimpole, and The Jackalope Kid make landfall on Jackfruit Frog Island. This episode features Scott Dorward from The G...
S2E64 - Jackfruit Frog Island: Hamster Water Device (with Scott Dorward)
14 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Fletch flirts. The Jackalope Kid practices. P.P. experiments. And Abbadon Skimpole moves the plot forward. This episode features Scott Dorward from Th...
S2E63 - Jackfruit Frog Island: A Simple Act of Sorcery (with Scott Dorward)
29 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Combat? Intrigue? Red Dead references? What is this, a Pulp Cthlulhu arc? This episode features Scott Dorward from The Good Friends of Jackson Elias. ...
S2E62 - All in Favor
16 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Questions are asked. Motions are passed. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along on Instagram, Twitt...
S2E61 - Seems Like We Have a Plan (Let's Hit It)
02 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of amphetamines, it's daylight, and we're not wearing sunglasses." Support the show on Patreon. Buy some me...
S2E60 - Luke in the Cave
26 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The CAN Crew (and Algernon) consider summoning Steve the Cleve. This is the penultimate episode of this arc. The ultimate episode of this arc will com...
S2E59 - What's in Grover Cleveland's Hole
05 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The CAN Crew takes uppers and explores Grover Cleveland's hole. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow al...
S2E58 - The Last Word
21 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"Grover Cleveland's baby carriage, fishing rod, magic tackle box, and what else?" Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention Genera...
S2E57 - Why Did We Come to The Lake?
06 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
All are concerned. A promotion is earned. Read the Discord Spoilers Chat to learn why the churned turned that yearned for the inturned undiscerned was...
S2E56 - Cocksure Young Himbo
24 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: Pull It // That Was Surely Mike // This Is Bedroom Gin? // A Hole 'Nother Thing // The Last Turd // Mike's Oxhard Lemonade /...
S2E55 - The Epitome of Sunglasses
10 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Two conversations and a fair amount of plot bring new relations, and affairs are often fraught. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Con...
S2E54 - Right in a Knob
30 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
"What about this guy? Why has he got that big coat on? He can't be cold, why the extra layer? Maybe he's trying to hide something." Support the show o...
S2E53 - Super Secret Trap Door
12 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: The Trifecta of News // He Could've Walked // My Pits! // Bob Could Never // Swear On The News // Below Deck (More Like B-lo...
S2E52 - Daddy Scooped Us
29 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles include: The Goods; The Nuts // Mindf*ck Nightmare //Anyway, we're gonna go have a competition where we prove who's more worthy of yo...
S2E51 - I'm Glad That You're Divorced
18 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Cal vs. Algernon. CANcakes vs. The Last Waffles. Video vs. Audio. But something just doesn't add up. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at th...
S2E50 - Married to That
01 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Cal Colorado meets Algernon Geils-Gerding. It goes as well as expected. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. F...
S2E49 - Close Your Eyes and Let Me Tell You a Story
18 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Beatitudes are misconstrued. Cal eludes the view of crude food. A potential dude fued is brewed for after the CAN Crew intrudes. Support the show on P...
S2E48 - You Could Use God (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
04 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Just in time. It's nice to hit a finale when it feels so right. Honestly can't wait to see what comes of this mess. This episode features Ellinor DiLo...
S2E47 - To Persuade Satan (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
19 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate episode titles include: Zach's Pollen, Mrs. Dumpsterfire, C.N.T., I'm a Withard, and Pitch a Wish. This episode features Ellinor DiLorenzo f...
S2E46 - Only One Can Survive (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
THANK YOU, AGAIN, FOR YOUR PATIENCE. THIS EDIT WAS AN ETERNAL NIGHTMARE DUE TO ENDLESS TECHNICAL FUPUCKS, BUT, FORTUNATELY, THAT SHOULD BE IN THE PAST...
Patreon Bonus // Washington, USA // Part One
10 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE WITH OUR TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. WE CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, AND IT LOOKS LIKE ROLEPLAYING WITH FRIENDS...
S2E45 - Killed By The Devil (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
19 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE. THIS EDIT WAS A NIGHTMARE DUE TO SOME TECHNICAL FUPUCKS, AND THE NEXT ONE WILL BE, TOO, UNFORTUNATELY. MASSIVE SHOUTOUT T...
S2E44 - A Deal With Satan (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
23 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The First New Testament is a Revelation. The Second New Testament rhymes. The Third New Testament could be important to the team or the King that's a ...
S2E43 - Ask Away (with Ellinor DiLorenzo)
09 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
More of an old character. In with a new character. Out with a new character. We'll match new and upgrading Patreon subscriptions (until the end of Mon...
S2E42 - Standard Issue C.A.N. Disguise Box
28 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Top Alternate Titles include: The Sass Club, A Planchard!, Heavy Misconsumptions, [Morgan, Morgann, and Morr], The Last Word, Be Jazzy, The Salt God. ...
S2E41 - Into The Tug Hole: Am I Destroyed?
11 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Julius and Stump continue their journeys. For now. We'll match new and upgrading Patreon subscriptions during the month of November and donate the sum...
S2E40 - Into The Tug Hole: Nothing Concrete (with Kate Stamas)
27 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Round and round and down and down. As it was, so it is. This episode features Kate Stamas from the Glass Cannon Network's Get in the Trunk, Time for C...
S2E39 - Into The Tug Hole: Shut the Front Door (with Kate Stamas)
14 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Worked it harder, made it better // Did it faster, made them stronger // More than ever, hour after hour // The torture was never over. This episode f...
S2E38 - Into The Tug Hole: First Non-Consecutive High School (with Kate Stamas)
30 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This one's quite bloody. Maybe get cuddly with a buddy to keep the yucky from getting too muddy. Alternate Episode Titles: Can I Suck on That?, I'm a ...
S2E37 - Into The Tug Hole: Aft to the Stern (with Kate Stamas)
15 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Phoebe Richards, Moe Gibson, and Norman "Stump" Sumpter are back to take on The Tug Hole at the behest of Julius and Burl Summers. It won't be as simp...
S2E36 - Reset to One // The Bog Job (with Kate Stamas)
01 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Flaccid teeth are described during a discussion about what, exactly, is abetting. A flashback sets up what's coming. This episode features Kate Stamas...
S2E35 - Assigned To You, A Sign To Me
19 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Sung to the tune of "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" ... "Do You Want To Get Inside Me?" Share our slick new promo video everywhere, please and bless...
S2E34 - The Truth, Ruth
04 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A line is drawn in the sand. A gun is drawn with no plan. A memory is drawn out to understand. Share our slick new promo video everywhere, please and ...
S2E33 - That's Not Brock
22 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Campari is red, Daddy is blue, who do you trust if you can't trust the news? Share our slick new promo video everywhere, please and bless you. Support...
S2E32 - We're Allowed to be Anywhere
10 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate titles: Double Fisting His Wake Up Juice // Let Daddy Do His Work // You've Wrapped Your Uncle in a Wall of Thighs SHARE OUR SLICK NEW VIDEO...
Announcement
30 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
SHARE THIS VIDEO EVERYWHERE, BLESS YOU. MAYBE EVEN CHECK OUT OUR RECENT REDDIT POSTS. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention G...
S2E31 - The Wet Wings of God
24 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Regardless of what is said in this episode, all the members of the CAN team have seen the Wet Energy - so it must be something else that separates one...
S2E30 - We're Getting Married
09 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Spring is here // Sky is blue // Birds all sing // as if they knew // Today's the day // we'll say "I do" // and we'll never be lonely anymore // Goin...
S2E29 - Wet, Smooth Holes
28 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Many paths lie before our intrepid news team. Before choosing, one should trust the folks on their six (94.2). Support the show on Patreon. Buy some m...
S2E28 - Clean Up, Clean Up, Everybody Do Your Share
14 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Alternate episode titles: Ask Jeeves-ing // Back on the Right Track // Bad Eggs in The City Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Content...
S2E27 - They Know
28 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
House emoji. HUMINT emoji. DMX emoji. I guess the latter two are requests. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store...
S2E26 - A Water Feature
15 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Fuck, y'all. Roleplaying is so much fun. You gotta get a game going. Shit's wild. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention Genera...
Patreon Bonus // The Lost Treasure of John Lee Pettimore // Part One
01 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This here formerly-exclusive episode is the first of a new Pettimore-centric Patreon arc written and run by Thomas! Joe, Luke, and Zach are playing Pe...
S2E25 - Holy Cow Farms: Go Get Our Girl (with Becca Scott)
23 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
So, gather up your jackets, move it to the exits I hope you have found a friend Closing time, every new beginning Comes from some other beginning's en...
S2E24 - Holy Cow Farms: God's Gift to the Earth (with Becca Scott)
03 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The gang heads to The Zeitgeist for the denouement. There, they unearth a phenomenon. This short story features Becca Scott playing a vagabond called ...
S2E23 - Holy Cow Farms: A Perversion of Crystals (with Becca Scott)
18 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
836836836836836836836836 836836836 836836836836836836 This short story features Becca Scott playing a vagabond called Meathook. Support the show on Pa...
S2E22 - Holy Cow Farms: I Am the Vector (with Becca Scott)
03 Feb 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Shelly St. Blythe is a crystal doctor with an even stranger hobby. Vincenti Boeri dresses well and has a good eye for new employees. Jimmy Corrigan is...
S2E21 - More Hair, Better Person
20 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This episode is all about family, The NaturHole, and the movies happening inside the car. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contentio...
S2E20 - W.A.W?W.A.B.K.B,D!
06 Jan 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This is the hardest we've laughed in a long time. Plenty of plot on the next episode for you plotheads. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at...
S2E19 - B-id-agel
24 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Joe asked why I stopped doing the little stingers at the end. I told him they're only possible when we're way too squirrelly, so you be the judge of w...
S2E18 - We Have Angered God
10 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Actions have consequences. Support the shelter and join the raffle on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow along on Instagr...
Announcement
04 Dec 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We'll match new and upgrading Patreon subscriptions during the month of December and donate the sum to a cold weather shelter here in Springfield, MO....
S2E17 - The Transformative Power of Journalism
26 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The CAN Van heads back to The City. But this doesn't quite feel like a victory. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General ...
S2E16 - Mufasa
12 Nov 2022
Contributed by Lukas
WARNING: this episode contains nasty puke/vomit/barf sounds. Gross. Also, there's a death. Look out! Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at th...
S2E15 - More Rings
29 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Have you really never looked at The Show Notes? They're gorg. And normally there's a nice little blurb about the episode here, but nothing good will c...
S2E14 - God Turtle
14 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
How does the CAN crew make it out of The It Pit? Do they get stoned to death? Find out here in Episode 14! Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch...
S2E13 - The It Pit
07 Oct 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A group whooped. A troop's loop was hooped. A coop is lubed with a soup of poop and human gloop. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Co...
S2E12 - The Death of a Sailsman: Oi! Oi! Means Fire
25 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's lights out and away we go here just northeast of the Antillas Mayores. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Stor...
S2E11 - The Death of a Sailsman: He Likes to Pry, Mate
16 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The pirate crews take their starting places and prepare for a peaceful, respectful race around an island covered in ditches of blood. Support the show...
S2E10 - The Death of a Sailsman: A Chad in a Chode
09 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The crew treks further into the strange and mysterious island. Support the show on Patreon. Buy some merch at the Contention General Store. Follow alo...
S2E9 - The Death of a Sailsman: Hip to Nip (with Beth May)
02 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The Death of a Sailsman lets its tendies hit the shore of an island where a mysterious race will take place. This episode features Beth May from Dunge...