Chapter 1: How has the war in Iran impacted global markets?
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That's how much New Jersey Transit is considering charging for a round-trip train ticket to the World Cup this year. Ed, what do a 12-volt battery and an asshole have in common?
Chapter 2: What are the current trends in oil prices due to the conflict?
What?
Well, you know you're not supposed to put your tongue on it, but you do anyways.
Are we going to get to the World Cup this summer? What are we going to do about this? I'm very upset because this is like the big moment. I should obviously be going to the World Cup. Huge football fan, never gone to the World Cup in my life. And it finally arrives in America, but I can't get a ticket. It's just insane.
Well, I don't know if you heard, but an alcoholic, a priest, and a pedophile are going to the World Cup, and that's just the first person.
What is the joke? Who are you making fun of?
I'm saying they're the same person, alcoholic, pedophile, priest. Anyways, maybe I didn't deliver that well. It's time to bring in our producer.
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Chapter 3: How have stock markets reacted since the ceasefire announcement?
Okay, wait, hold on.
I've got a better one.
I was interviewing for a job, and the interviewer said, what is this four-year gap in your resume? And I said, well, I went to Yale. And she said, wow, that's impressive. You're hired. And I said, oh, God, that's such good news. I really need this yob.
Think about it.
I got it. I got it. Think about it. Again, the silence is not an indication of confusion. Anyways, how are you? I'm doing well.
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Chapter 4: What defines a great CEO according to this episode?
I, again, present you the question. What are we going to do about this World Cup thing? Are you going to be able to figure it out? Like, I don't know what to do about it. I'm just going to regret it the rest of my life. Is it really that hard to get tickets right now? It is. Unless you're willing, I think, to spend like... A lot? Not just a lot, but like a fortune.
Better start wearing more quints, bitch. So I've been, yeah, I've been the last two times. Look, I get, I don't know how to, I get, a brand takes me, so I don't, but I would bet if you want to figure it out, I would bet tickets start to free up towards, America's never been that into football. So I don't, I would bet a lot of tickets will free up, but I don't.
Do you want to go to the big games or do you want to follow Team England?
Chapter 5: What legacy did Tim Cook leave as Apple's CEO?
I mean, England would be incredible, but I mean, that's, I think that's a, that's high hopes to go see England. I'd go to anything. I'd go to anything in New York. What, I'm just curious, what is your plan here? Are you waiting for a brand to tell you, hey, we have some tickets, come along?
Yeah, that's exactly my plan. You just literally outlined my plan. I don't, I don't think about it. I mean, it's not till, when is it? Oh, it's coming up. That's what I'm saying. I got to get my act together. I get the sense, Ed, you're going to figure this out. We're going to figure this out for you.
Chapter 6: What are the implications of SpaceX's acquisition of Cursor?
I get the sense that someone's going to... Well, that's kind of why I bring it up.
I was hoping that maybe you'd give me sort of the inside baseball. This is you fishing for invites to the World Cup? Yeah, exactly. Maybe you get offered tickets and then you kind of forward me the email, like maybe you have a conflict or something.
Yeah, I think the answer is Paramount+. Yeah. We'll see. We'll figure it out.
Paramount+. That's very exciting. And in other good news, I'm now going to get dragged for saying good news. It's not good news. Warner Brothers has officially decided that they are gonna get sold to Paramount, which is something we could discuss, but that's not on the docket today. We have other stuff to discuss.
Chapter 7: What predictions are made about the future of major tech IPOs?
Before we get to that though, I want to promote our tour. Again, we are hitting San Francisco, LA, Miami, Chicago, New York. We're going to be on the road May 27th to June 2nd. If you haven't gotten your tickets, do it now. Go to profgmarketstour.com. Scott and I are going to be live in conversation. We're going to be doing Q&A. We're going to have some very, very special guests.
It was just interesting. We were worried. We knew we would do well in New York. We're almost sold out in New York, but we're almost sold out in the city we thought we were going to do least well in. You know what city that is?
I do.
San Francisco.
Chapter 8: How should investors approach the current market conditions?
San Francisco. That's right. I think they're coming to throw shit at us. But yeah, we're doing well in San Francisco. But it's going to be great. It's going to be a chance for us to spend a lot of time together, which will be nice. But anyways, I don't know how to promote it other than saying they're a great time. And Ed likes to drink. Unlike Kara Swisher, he likes to drink.
So we'll try and do an after party at all of them, which will be fun. I'm going on the road with Scott. I'm excited about that part. We're going to take a big bus. We're driving across this great nation. Are we going to get groupies? Let's hope so. Yeah. I don't know. All right. In other news, let's talk about Iran.
Oh, God.
Let's move to something more light. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.
its two-month mark tomorrow. That's well beyond the four-week timeline the Trump administration had initially suggested. So, with the conflict stretching into its third month, we thought it was a good moment to step back and assess how it's impacting prices and also the broader market. But the bigger question still looms. How and when does this actually end?
Scott, let's just look at what's happened with the markets here. We're now at month two. We started this war on February 28th. So we're essentially two months into this thing. Oil prices...
are rising still uh brent crude is above 103 dollars a barrel so i think a lot of people expected that maybe oil prices would kind of calm down that the markets would sort of temper that hasn't really happened it's still very volatile and it's still pretty significantly elevated compared to where we were before uh the start of the war
But what has been interesting is how well the stock market has performed. So since the ceasefire was announced, the Dow has risen 6%. The S&P has risen 8%. The Nasdaq has risen 12%. And actually, it's not just U.S. markets that are rallying. It's markets everywhere around the world.
So again, since the ceasefire, since Trump announced that ceasefire, and we can debate whether it actually was a ceasefire, but since that announcement, Europe's stock market up 3%, Germany's up 4%, China's up 5%, India's up 5%, Japan up 10%. So it does seem that investors are either breathing a sigh of relief or deciding that
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