I'm Pregnant.
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This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn. Hi guys, welcome back to the show. How crazy. As you can tell by the title, I am pregnant. Oh my God, can't believe I'm saying that out loud. I also have not recorded the show in over two months. I took two months off social media. I have basically been a hermit for two months. I have barely left my house and I've been in such a bubble. And there's so much that has happened Also, so little that's happened. But I have so much to share with you guys. If you follow me on Instagram, I finally announced that I was pregnant once I hit the 12-week mark with my pregnancy. And I was really nervous to do so because... I felt like I was in this bubble where, I don't know, like I love, love, love my community so much.
Like, especially on this podcast, I feel like you guys have seen me through it all. And I feel very connected with you guys. And especially with my fertility journey and my IVF journey, I just felt... I don't know, really connected. It's such a special experience, you know? But when you put things out on social media, you never know where they're going to land. You're opening yourself up for feedback. And I kind of was just enjoying being in my bubble, but I was also so excited to share. So... Very mixed emotions. I also think, you know, when you go through infertility for two... I went through it for two years. Some people go through it for longer. When you experience loss, et cetera, et cetera, it's almost hard to believe that it's real.
Like, I feel like I... have to remind myself constantly, like, you really are pregnant. And I think sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream because I've just waited so long for it that it's hard to grasp, you know? I literally got an ultrasound done yesterday to make sure little one was still in there. And I don't know, I know that sounds crazy and I'm getting too in-depth too quickly here, but I just, you know, it's just... Crazy to even talk about it, honestly, for me. And it's so surreal. And I know I left you guys on such a cliffhanger. Like the last time I recorded, I was about to do my transfer. I was so nervous. I was in such a like... That headspace, I was so worried about it not working.
And I was in such a like, I didn't want to jinx anything. I was so scared to even talk about it. And I knew that the second I did my transfer, I would delete social media because I was like, whether or not it works or not. I need to experience that privately. And it's honestly the first time in my career that I didn't share and that I stopped working pretty much for two months. And it was a really crazy feeling. And I'm honestly very grateful that I did that and very happy that I did that because I think content regarding this topic is very important. I know there's a lot of discourse about that online right now. And as someone who personally went through infertility, I think it's so valuable to share your experience, especially when you are a healthy person with a good mindset.
I always try to stay as positive as possible. Sometimes for unexplained reasons, you just can't get pregnant and it's not your fault. It's not because you're not manifesting it, quote unquote. If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. I think that content is so valuable. And I'm really happy that I shared my experience. I just think people who haven't gone through it don't understand the pain. Like, no, of course not, right? Like people who have an experience in fertility or loss will never understand that deepness of the pain that you feel. And seeing other people experience it is... really helpful because I think we are surrounded, I mean, day-to-day life by people who get pregnant easily or celebrities getting, whatever, it's everywhere.
I left you guys on a cliffhanger. I deleted social media. Obviously now I'm pregnant and I want to tell you guys the full story of what happened because it wasn't just... I think in my head, I had this vision that once I was pregnant, everything would be amazing.
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