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Rahimi, Harris & Grote Show

Transition: Spiegel thinks the Cubs could extend Nico Hoerner soon

25 Mar 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the initial introductions and context of the podcast?

1.533 - 4.358 Laurence Holmes

It's a pleasure being here with Unk and Layla.

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5.02 - 10.27 Leila Rahimi

I appreciate you guys. I'm just looking at you.

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10.49 - 14.779 Matt Spiegel

So I'm Unk, but you're not Auntie. Let's start with that. And that's fine.

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15.881 - 20.149 Leila Rahimi

It is also technically correct. I'm the oldest of my siblings.

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20.59 - 26.587 Matt Spiegel

I'm the oldest of my siblings. We're all childless. My siblings? Mine. Oh, you're all childless?

26.607 - 26.968 Leila Rahimi

Yeah.

27.348 - 28.69 Matt Spiegel

Oh, so I am an actual uncle.

28.85 - 32.075 Leila Rahimi

I'm also the only one without a graduate degree in my family.

32.816 - 36.28 Matt Spiegel

Which is, I would say, is you saving money, if we're being honest.

Chapter 2: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about family dynamics?

74.804 - 81.539 Marshall Harris

Okay. That took a turn. I was not... Psychologically? Spiritually? Psychologically and spiritually.

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81.559 - 99.759 Leila Rahimi

We joke about having custody that we have to split of Clay with David because... Well, because as you know, Marshall... Marshall always claims to have brought clay into the world. So then that just became a whole, like, terminology in and of itself.

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99.779 - 101.662 Laurence Holmes

Well, it's because you're an obstetrician, right?

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101.682 - 113.687 Matt Spiegel

You're a part-time obstetrician. Try to be. It's not working out. You know, the meme that I use for my business is that one kid, remember in the white lab coat that got... I think he went to jail, didn't he?

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113.707 - 117.233 Marshall Harris

Yes, for faking being a doctor. Down in Florida.

117.253 - 120.259 Leila Rahimi

Multiple times. He tried it multiple times. What? I don't know about this.

120.279 - 131.119 Marshall Harris

There's this guy that was basically like, I'm Doogie Howser. And then it turns out that he didn't even really finish high school, but was walking around and acting as if he was an actual doctor.

131.099 - 155.402 Leila Rahimi

wow and he got busted yes many times he got busted they were like could you stop doing the thing where you're a doctor and he's like oh yeah totally next week back being a doctor sociopath is what i like to call that but yeah so marshall was essentially responsible for clay's media career and it wasn't even here so that just not his life though to be clear no but marshall talks to clay he's like i brought you here like

155.382 - 157.905 Matt Spiegel

I brought him into this world. I'll take you out.

Chapter 3: How does the conversation transition to discussing the Cubs and Nico Hoerner?

189.299 - 192.644 Laurence Holmes

What was he getting out of that? Was it self-esteem? Was it girls?

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192.845 - 194.367 Leila Rahimi

He was a sociopath.

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194.647 - 198.974 Laurence Holmes

Yeah, but he was getting something. Sense of value and place in the universe.

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199.755 - 210.692 Leila Rahimi

Sociopaths like to outsmart the system. You know, it's like all those people on Tiger King. They think they can outsmart nature. No, you can't. A tiger will eat you.

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212.017 - 215.705 Marshall Harris

In the... For Persians, is auntie and uncle a thing?

216.186 - 239.688 Leila Rahimi

I mean, but it's not the same, I don't think. But there is like a hale, which is like, that's often referred to as like a woman your mom's age who is like a friend. It's like a term of endearment. Say it again. Hale. I don't really know. Like sometimes there are words that I can't translate, even though Farsi is not a language I speak fluently and English is definitely my first and only language.

239.768 - 244.935 Leila Rahimi

Like there are times where just like, You know words in a different language, but you don't necessarily know how to translate them well enough.

244.955 - 248.5 Laurence Holmes

And they also are imbued with meaning that doesn't fully translate.

248.6 - 248.78 Leila Rahimi

Correct.

Chapter 4: What are the implications of Ian Happ's potential contract situation?

315.223 - 320.096 Matt Spiegel

No, you killing it. Right. Just back and forth until... But the truth can be we're both killing it.

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320.597 - 321.98 Leila Rahimi

That's it. That's it.

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322 - 325.246 Marshall Harris

There's a thing that often happens.

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325.326 - 345.28 Laurence Holmes

You got the best hair, Marshall. After a band show, a bunch of you will stand around for a while and drink and tell each other, you were great tonight. No, you were great tonight. No, you were great tonight. My friend calls it the humoring. We're all standing around just humoring each other. No, you weren't as bad as you think. No, you were really. No, it was you, man.

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345.26 - 353.854 Leila Rahimi

Yeah, Beth Amor is also a Persian phrase that also fits into this, but since I don't always speak it and I can't quite always translate it, yes, that all fits in.

353.914 - 358.201 Laurence Holmes

All right, now I have time to look at the picture. This is the kid who presented he was a doctor. Yep.

358.822 - 367.175 Matt Spiegel

Show the cameras. This went viral. Unbelievable. It's just, the story itself is unbelievable, and the fact that he kept doing it is also unbelievable.

367.195 - 381.913 Marshall Harris

You've been warned. A texter asked if I like being called uncle. Yes. I'm good with unk and uncle. I'm an actual uncle and the goat of uncles. And technically, I'm a great uncle and also a great uncle. You're a great uncle? I'm not a great uncle.

382.094 - 386.258 Matt Spiegel

I don't even know if I'm a great uncle because I don't see my niece enough. She's not two yet.

Chapter 5: How do the hosts analyze the Cubs' roster changes?

423.128 - 426.835 Laurence Holmes

He would just like, oh, yeah, he's like, I know, I have a tone problem. I have tone issues.

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427.436 - 429.84 Leila Rahimi

Wait, was it like, I have a tone problem?

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431.39 - 433.232 Laurence Holmes

Exactly.

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433.292 - 436.436 Leila Rahimi

I see. It's hard to beat tone. I have tone problems at times.

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436.456 - 453.517 Laurence Holmes

It's like you say, Tone Loke probably had tone problems. You know what I'm saying? But sometimes you know if you've got tone issues, and it's just the way of the world. I'm not Tone Loke. I have a very presentational side to the way I say things, because I'm like, hey, I'm saying it this way. Sometimes people think I'm completely full of crap.

453.737 - 458.022 Laurence Holmes

It's unfortunate, because oftentimes I'm not full of crap, but I just sound like that. Exactly.

458.002 - 460.969 Matt Spiegel

I want you to listen to some Tony, Tony, Tony. That's what it sounds like.

461.009 - 466.201 Leila Rahimi

See, an example of Tadoff at this point would be like, no, you're not full of crap. You're not full of crap either.

466.221 - 468.927 Laurence Holmes

No, you're not full of crap. But I'll take the realness. I'll take the realness.

Chapter 6: What insights are shared about the dynamics of sports contracts?

539.737 - 541.639 Leila Rahimi

No, that's kind of the whole point.

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541.739 - 561.381 Marshall Harris

Yeah, that's the whole thing about most of that province. And I believe now that Montreal, the official language, is now back to French. They did not have one for a while because everyone there pretty much speaks English. But now I think they're back to French because the Quebecers are like, no, at some point we're leaving.

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561.361 - 567.949 Leila Rahimi

They do a dance, too. Like, doesn't Montreal and Quebec do, like, they threaten to secede every now and then?

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568.089 - 568.91 Marshall Harris

Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

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568.93 - 576.439 Leila Rahimi

It's just like, hey, we can still do this. You know? It's like reminding people of the decree or something. Like, we can still do this.

576.459 - 586.751 Marshall Harris

But if you bring anyone over from France and ask them about the French that is spoken in Quebec, they will be like, it's not unlike the way the British look at the way we speak English.

587.011 - 598.029 Leila Rahimi

It's true. The best was that clip you played about the origins of soccer. And it was the British podcast where they had to admit that there was a reason we called it soccer and not football.

598.069 - 604 Marshall Harris

That soccer is a thing. It comes from a sock. A sock, yeah. Yeah, the association.

604.121 - 605.223 Leila Rahimi

It was an acronym.

Chapter 7: How do the hosts reflect on music and its emotional impact?

673.76 - 676.725 Leila Rahimi

It is a good idea. I mean, he has a pizza there. What the heck? And he deserves it.

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676.745 - 678.708 Marshall Harris

And if they trade him, pitchforks.

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678.728 - 686.581 Leila Rahimi

Pitchforks to Rinaldi. Or I guess singular, my pitchfork. Do we then sink the pitchfork into the pizza that we get from Rinaldi's that isn't the Mico pizza?

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686.922 - 689.486 Matt Spiegel

You only have one pitchfork, right? Yeah. Okay, we can all share it.

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689.506 - 693.372 Leila Rahimi

What about a tiny pitchfork that we each have and then we use for food? I think we can do that.

693.392 - 696.097 Marshall Harris

I also have a manual tiller if anyone wants to use the tiller.

696.117 - 699.141 Matt Spiegel

That sounds extreme, but... Yes, I understand where you're coming from there.

699.161 - 705.43 Laurence Holmes

If we're all going to get the pitchfork out of the garage, we might as well get the... Good coach at Purdue, Manuel Tiller. Yeah, Manuel Tiller did a great job with Drew Brees.

705.49 - 714.862 Matt Spiegel

To your point about Ian Happ, I think Ian Happ knows that he's not getting any extension based on what he said before the season even started. He understands the boys to men is playing in the background.

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