REAL AF with Andy Frisella
965. Q&AF: Over-Planning Vs Action, Saying No Without Guilt, and Leading Employees With Bad Attitudes
17 Nov 2025
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. The questions can be about anything, by the way. We prefer to keep them about business, life, personal development.
But you can ask whatever you want. And you can ask those questions a number of different ways. DJ, tell them how.
Guys, you can email your questions in to us at askandyatandyforseller.com. You can also check the link in the description below and submit your questions for a chance to be on our call-ins. You can also drop your questions in the comments of the Q and AF episodes on the tube. All right, and if this is your first time listening, it's not always Q&AF.
We have CTI, all right? And there's a big schedule change on CTI coming up. We are transitioning to live format. We are live. We are live, which means we will be live tonight. Tonight. Ooh.
What time? Monday, Monday, Monday. Where do people see us live? You guys can check us on YouTube or Twitter. All right.
So, live shows... Coming at you, starting tonight. And we'll let you know the schedule tonight. If we figure it out by then. All right. So we got CTI, Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen. We talk about it. You'll see it tonight. Then we got Real Talk. Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 Hard Verses.
That's where people who have completed the 75 Hard Program come on the show. They talk about how they were before, how they are now, and how they use the 75 Hard Program online. to become who they are today. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard is the initial phase of the live hard program, which is available in its entirety at episode two zero eight on the audio feed.
Again, that's two zero eight on the audio feed only. There's also a book available. It's called the book on mental toughness. You can get it at Andy for solid.com. It includes the entire live hard program, plus a whole bunch of other stuff on mental toughness. Um,
You don't have to buy the book, but if you're someone who enjoys knowing the in-depth knowledge of why, how, et cetera, et cetera, the book is an amazing option. We sell it out all the time. So if you want the book, you get it at andyfersella.com. If you want it for free, it's episode 208 on the audio feed. Makes no difference to me, all right?
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Chapter 2: How can I stop over-preparing and start taking action?
But here I am 27 years into business and I'm just finally learning how to just say, no, I can't do that right now. You know what I'm saying? I can't, there's, I got too much going on. I can't do it.
And, um, and what I've, what I've come to find out is that people respect that a lot more than they do when you just like kind of, you know, give them wishy-washy answers or, you know, say obviously yes to things that, you know, you intend to do, but can't get done. Um, And just like anything else, dude, this is something that you have to practice.
It's something that you have to do over and over and over again to feel comfortable doing it. And a lot of people have no problem saying no. Like my brother has never had that problem. You know what I mean? Like he's never, and I don't think it's anything other than he realizes because he's got such a busy life that he really can't afford to do it because he doesn't have the time.
He's got the three kids and he's got businesses and all these things. And I've learned a lot watching him kind of set that boundary for myself. That's really what it comes down to, the boundary line. Yeah, for sure. And you have to just understand that in order to be the person that you need to be, That's going to benefit the people around you the best.
It's going to require that you don't do the things that take away from that and that you concentrate very heavily on the things that do. And unfortunately, that's going to upset some people. Unfortunately, that's going to feel uncomfortable. But the reality is the long-term benefit outweighs the momentary discomfort of saying no. Uh, it's something that we have to practice.
It's something that you have to get comfortable with.
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Chapter 3: What is the balance between preparation and taking action?
Um, and once you do, it'll save you a lot of time, a lot of frustration. And what you'll find is that people actually respect you more and you're not disappointing people all the time because they have a clear answer. Uh, and things work out better when you learn to say, when you learn to say no effectively.
I feel like it also too helps when you do end up saying yes, because it makes that even more, fuck you. All right, cool.
Yeah, for sure. For sure. It makes your time more valuable, bro. People respect your, um, when you have boundaries, dude, people respect the time that you do give them a lot more. And, um, Yeah, I mean, dude, look, this is just something I think most people struggle with. I think most people struggle with this way more than I do.
I think people have a really, really hard time because they perceive it as confrontation when in reality it's not confrontation, dude. It doesn't have to be. It's just real. Yeah. You know what I mean? And there's ways to say it without, you know, having to just be like, nope. You know what I mean?
Like, hell no. Yeah, right.
And sometimes that's appropriate. Yeah. But... But yeah, man, you know, it's practice. It's understanding where the juice is worth the squeeze in terms of what you're trying to accomplish, what your obligations are to the people around you. And if you consistently say yes to everybody, you got to understand that everybody else that you're responsible for is going to suffer for that.
Or when you have to say no, then it's like, well, fuck you. Yeah. Because they're so used to you saying. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I want to talk about this. I know we have a lot of young listeners who they're either, you know, just getting started and, you know, maybe entrepreneurship or but, you know, they might be coming into some money. Right. And I know this is a struggle. We've talked about this before, but saying no in financial situations. Yeah. Yeah. Is that tougher than a time commitment?
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Chapter 4: What role does discipline play in achieving success?
cocky okay but when he goes out to perform and do his job he's telling himself i'm the baddest on the planet okay so there's a dichotomy here and it is humble in preparation and confident or cocky in execution okay and that's where we have to find that that line where we ride yeah so if you when it's in the paradox is is that when we look at successful people
A lot of people will say, oh, dude, that guy's just a cocky fuck. But in reality, humility is required to even get to the level that they're at. So you're misjudging what that actually is, okay? That's not cockiness, bro. That's the result of years and years and years of humble preparation. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely, dude.
know there's this idea i mean dude it's funny because like the average you know person's idea and viewpoint of a successful person is almost like backwards in the way that they think about it you know they think oh well that person is where they are because they were born into this family or they got this or they got that bro i don't know very many successful people
That came from soft circumstances almost every single person that I know that self-made Came from shit that they had to fucking claw their way out of which is what equipped them with the grit with the fortitude with the perseverance And the skill set to actually go and be successful in their life and You know, people don't think of that.
They think, oh, dude, that guy was born on third base and he thinks he hit a triple and they tell themselves all these stories. But that's just not the fucking truth. The truth of the matter is, is that becoming a successful human being is so fucking hard that if you dump that on someone who was born with privilege, bro, they're going to fucking crumble. OK, so.
When we think about this, that's the wrong perception that people have. Another one is about this humility thing. Everybody wants to talk about humble, humble, humble, humble. He's not humble. Bro, humble is what fucking losers say to take people out that have done shit more than them. That's the truth, okay?
They say this shit without realizing that the person who they're calling not humble humbly put in 10, 20, 25 years of work learning their craft to become great at it. So they have a right to feel good about who they are and the skills they have. And in fact, when they go out to perform, whether it be business or in sports or on a stage for music or whatever,
You have to believe that you're going to fucking win or you're going to get your ass beat. So that's another misconception. And there's all kinds of misconceptions that the average person has of the successful person that are just...
completely fucking false yeah and honestly they're just justifications uh for why that you know the person saying them is where they are and that successful person is where they are yeah so you know humility is a requirement for success and to say to someone you know like when they start to win Oh, you know, don't forget to be humble. Well, I wouldn't be winning if I wasn't humble, bitch.
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