This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through validation, patience, and restraint—so vulnerability can grow over time. Main Talking Points Pursuer vs withdrawer Punishing vulnerability Critiquing delivery Validation first Play long game Create safety Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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