Relationships Made Easy

281. How to Take a Healthy Relationship Break: The Three Questions You Need to Ask

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re like me, when you think of a relationship break, you’re remembering Ross Gellar on the show Friends, screaming, “We were on a break!”...

280. How to Effectively Deal with Triggers in Your Relationships

25 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Does your mother make a comment about your haircut, and you blow up? Does your partner casually mention that they’re going out with friends after wo...

279. Do You Have an Adjustment Disorder and Don’t Know It?

18 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Adjustment disorders are basically having excessive reactions to some stress (or stressors) in your life that result in overly strong emotions, increa...

278. Relationships and Money: How to Have Effective Conversations About Your Finances

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The vast majority of people find it difficult to talk about money with partners, friends or family. At the root of this issue is something called mone...

277. How Do You Know if You’re Making the Right Decision/Following Your Gut?

04 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I’m not going to keep you in suspense on this one. You know you’re making a “right” decision, or following your “gut,” when you’re actin...

276. Is Toxic Shame Hurting Your Relationship and You Don’t Realize It?

27 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Shame doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t matter if you’re fat or thin, rich or poor, tall or short: shame is an equal opportunity emotion and it’...

275. Jealous of Your Partner’s Past Relationships? What Retroactive Jealousy is and My Top 5 Tips to Make it Stop

20 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jealousy in a moment happens when you perceive someone or something else as a threat to your relationship. Retroactive jealousy is different because y...

274. Three Steps to Having an Amazing Valentine’s Day (Even if You’re Single)

13 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

My name is Abby, and I don’t like Valentine’s Day. There. I said it. But across the US and all around the world, people are celebrating Valentine’...

273. Do the Love Languages Really Work?

06 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With Valentine’s Day around the corner in about 30 countries around the world, I thought it would be an excellent time to talk about Gary Chapman’...

272. Being Curious Will Improve All Your Relationships: Here’s How to Do It

30 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

I know you’ve heard that curiosity killed the cat, but that negative spin is all wrong! We know from the research that curiosity will help with ever...

271. Ask Dr. Abby: When You Feel on the Outside with Your Partner, Their Ex, and Their Kids

23 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do when your partner gets along great with their ex and wants to spend all holidays and main events with them and the kids? You’re invit...

270. Having a Growth Mindset is the Key to an Empowered Mindset

16 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Here we are with part two of The Five Steps to Having an Empowered Mindset. If you haven’t listened to the first part yet, that’s OK; this one sta...

269. The Five Steps to Having an Empowered Mindset

09 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

An empowered mindset means that you make conscious choices followed by intentional actions to take control of your life. It means you take responsibil...

268. The #1 Reason Why You Don’t Hold Your Boundaries

19 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I’ve said over and over that the secret to a life filled with connection, ease and joy is to create and hold boundaries. And there’s one big thing...

267. Why it's Hard to Ask for Help and 3 Tips for Making it Easier

12 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hello. My name is Abby, and I hate to ask for help. Despite all my years of therapy and teaching others how important it is, asking for help is still ...

266. Are Relationship Doubts Normal? Four Questions to Get Your Answer

05 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The short answer is “yes,” but the real question is, “When should I listen to my relationship doubts and when should I ignore them?” Whether y...

265. Learn to Hold Your Boundaries with Healthy Selfishness

28 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve tried to draw a boundary with your partner, boss or best friend, but they call you selfish, self-absorbed or even narcissistic! How could dar...

264. What to Do if Your Partner is Friends with Past Partners or Hookups

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Your current partner is friends with one or more of their past partners or hookups, and you don’t like it. You’ve told them you’re uncomfortable...

263. How to Keep Your Boundaries Around the Holidays

14 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

How do you not let your family drive you crazy this holiday season? Boundaries. How can you find peace even though there’s so much going on during N...

262. How Do You Know When a Relationship is Over?

07 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Have you been thinking it’s time to call it quits in your relationship, but maybe you’re wondering if you’re quitting too soon or wanting to lea...

261. What You Need to Know About Defense Mechanisms

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Defense mechanisms are your brain’s (mostly unconscious) way of avoiding conflict, anxiety or upset. Although they get a bad rap, defense mechanisms...

260. What to Do When You Can’t Get Through to Them

23 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Do you have that person in your life who, no matter what you do, you can’t seem to get through to them or get them to listen or engage in a healthy ...

259. The Five Keys to Positive Communication

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Positive communication is communication that’s based on respect and builds trust and collaboration. Although it’s something that’s mostly been a...

258. Getting the Sizzle and that Loving Feeling Back in Your Relationship

09 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

If you’re listening to me right now, you’ve felt some kind of decline in your relationship or, as the song goes, “you’ve lost that loving feel...

257. What Patience Really is and How to Have More of It

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Did you know that the opposite of patience isn’t impatience? I’ve got to tell you that I didn’t know that until I started researching this episo...

256. The Four Ways to Solve Any Problem

25 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy created by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the early 1980s. It’s an e...

255. Focus on Self-Love Not Just Self-Compassion

18 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

OK, when I hear the words self-love, I want to throw up in my mouth a little because I’m thinking of some Brené Brown quote needlepointed onto a pi...

254. The Seven Habits of Intimate Relationships (backed by research)

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We know from the research that having intimate relationships is the key to mental and physical health. But what exactly qualifies as intimacy? Today I...

253. Focus on These Five Things to Make All Your Relationships Great

04 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We know from the research that the biggest predictor of a happy (and long!) life comes down to the quality of your relationships. And, as much as we a...

252. Instead of Date Nights, Work on Micro-Connections

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily. While date nights an...

251. Is it Love Bombing or Codependent Affection Flooding?

21 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Love bombing gets a lot of attention and is usually discussed alongside narcissism or when we discuss trauma bonding. But what I’ve seen more often ...

250A. Conquering Your Quarter-life Crisis

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you identify as a Millennial, Gen X, or even Gen Z, the quarter-life crisis can have you feeling stuck in work and love. In today’s bonus ep...

250. The Secret to a Happy Life and Relationships: Resilience

24 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today I’m celebrating the 250th episode of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast, and I’m closing out our fifth season with some big love! Today you...

249. Five Tips for Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve tried being easy-going and flexible, and you’ve tried being clear and firm, but nothing has worked when it comes to co-parenting with your ...

248. How to Make Happier Joint Decisions with Your Partner (in 5 Easy Steps)

10 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When you’re single, you get to make 100% of your decisions, from what color you paint your bedroom to how much you spend on eating out every week. B...

247. Adult ADHD at Work: How to Get Shit Done

03 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Last week I taught how to deal with a loved one with ADHD. You learned what exactly ADHD is and how it’s diagnosed, what causes it, and my 12 steps ...

246. How to Deal with a Loved One Who has ADHD

26 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Your partner said they’d be home by 6:00 but showed up at 8:30 because they got caught up in something and lost track of the time (again). Your part...

245. Why People Chase Toxic Relationships and Unavailable Partners

19 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Why do we want to date people who are bad for us? Why do we get into relationships with people that bring out our worst, most unhealthy selves? Today ...

244. How to Deal with Annoying (I Mean Difficult) Coworkers

12 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ahhh, that annoying (I mean difficult) coworker. You know the one… they get under your skin every time you interact with them. Today I’m going to ...

243. Do You Have Relationship OCD?

05 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Relationship OCD, or R-OCD, is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder where people experience intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors related ...

242. Six Habits to Make All Your Relationships Successful

29 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We all want to have connected, happy and fulfilling relationships with the important people in our lives. The problem is that we often feel frustrated...

241. The Key to Letting Go of Resentment

22 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Someone has done you wrong and you can’t let it go. You’ve tried to breathe, meditate, or find closure, but nothing seems to work long-term. Maybe...

240. What to Do When Your Partner Changes the Rules of Your Relationship

15 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

How do you get past your partner changing the rules of your relationship? Maybe they quit smoking when you first got together but then started again t...

239. What to Do if You're a Control Freak

08 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There’s a big difference between being controlling and being in control. Being in control is awesome. It means you’re self-aware, confident, and h...

238. How to Deal with Controlling People

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Controlling people can show up anywhere in your life: romance, friendships, work, or your good old dad. Sometimes these people are well-meaning, but i...

237. Should You Be Journaling?

24 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back in the day, I thought journaling was either for those crunchy granola types or people wanting to grab a teddy bear and find their inner child, so...

236. Five ways to cultivate self-love

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I’ve spoken previously about self-acceptance and self-esteem, and today we’re going to go deep on self-love. We’ll talk about the differences be...

235. Self-Sabotage: What it Is and How to Stop Doing It

10 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

You say you’re going to start waking up earlier to have a healthier start to your day, but then you stay up all night binging Wednesday on Netflix a...

234. Are you Trauma Bonding in Your Relationships and Don’t Realize it?

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Trauma bonding was identified over 40 years ago, but it’s easy to dismiss if you don’t think you’ve ever had trauma. Are you experiencing trauma...

233. Five Things to Do When You Feel Like You’re Being Criticized

27 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you call it criticism or judgment, this kind of feedback never feels good. But what do you do when you’re dealing with someone who always se...

232. When They Keep Bringing up the Past and Won’t Let it Go

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve all been there. You’ve been working on yourself and acting in a more healthy way with your partner, parent, or friend. But then you slip up,...

231 The Five Steps to Effective Negotiation in All Your Relationships

13 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Negotiating in relationships can be tough. When we’re trying to find common ground, but we’ve got different points of view, there’s a feeling of...

230. Managing Different Spiritual Beliefs in Your Relationship

07 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Spirituality in a relationship isn’t just about whether you go to temple, church, or mosque together. What we believe (or don’t) either religiousl...

229. Are You Being Manipulated? Learn the Signs and How to Stop It

28 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Every relationship has some form of manipulation. Unless you’re the most self-actualized being in the Universe (and I think you’d be off floating ...

228. Do Opposites Attract? What to Do When You and Your Partner Seem Like Opposites

21 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

They’re messy, and you’re neat. They’re a saver, and you’re a spender. They’re a free spirit, and you like things to run on a schedule. You’...

227. The Secrets to Effectively Dealing with Stress and Anxiety: Part Two

14 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Last week I taught you the key difference between stress and anxiety and my top seven tips for effectively dealing with stress. You learned that while...

226. The Secrets to Effectively Dealing with Stress and Anxiety: Part One

07 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

While stress and anxiety are linked, they’re actually two different states of being. And what you do to alleviate stress can actually make you more ...

225. Seven Tips for Dealing with Technology in Your Relationships

31 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you call it technoference, phubbing, or just plain annoying, dealing with technology in our relationships can be challenging. From over 50 yea...

224. How to Rebuild Intimacy with Your Partner After Having Kids

24 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When they say that everything changes after you have kids, they’re right, but it doesn’t have to mean that things have to get worse! Your relation...

223. How to Handle Aggressive or Confrontational People

17 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whether it’s a coworker, friend, parent, or partner, dealing with people who are aggressive or confrontational is exhausting. They try to bulldoze, ...

222. Closure: What it Really is and How to Get it

10 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

So many of my clients come to therapy looking for some type of closure. From breakups to being fired to getting over childhood trauma, it’s a common...

221. The Five Reasons People Pick Fights and Three Things to Do About It

03 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Do you know someone who always seems to be picking a fight for no apparent reason? Are they just argumentative, or is there something deeper going on?...

220. Five Goals Every Couple Should Set

13 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve always got two choices to make in your relationship: evolve and grow or repeat and stay stuck in old patterns. Don’t wait until after the h...

219. How to Cope When a Loved One has Borderline Personality Disorder

06 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

They love you one minute and hate you the next. They seem to cause trouble in all their relationships. They’ll go from sweet and loving to furious a...

218. Dealing with Low Emotional Intelligence (in Yourself or Others)

29 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you know someone who has zero self-awareness? Do they seem to never understand your feelings? Do they have a hard time controlling or naming their ...

217. How Changing Your Breathing and Posture Can Change Your Life

22 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The research shows that just by changing your posture and how you breathe you can positively impact issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, chronic ...

216. Is it Ever a Good Idea to Get Back Together with Your Ex?

15 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The marriage of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck has given broken hearts the world over hope that maybe, this time, it could work out with their ex. But...

215. Create Connection and Joy this Holiday Season by Doing This One Thing

08 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There’s nothing like getting together with your parents and siblings over the holidays… and then realizing you're plotting their murders halfway t...

214. How to Convince Someone to Go to Therapy

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It’s hard to watch someone you care about struggling with mental health issues. You know that if they’d go to therapy, their life would be so much...

213. How to Set Boundaries at Work and Avoid Burnout

24 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

While there are some who say their work lives have become much easier since the pandemic, the vast majority of people I speak to say they’re feeling...

212. How to Stop People Pleasing

17 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you put other people’s needs ahead of your own? Do you feel guilty when you say “no”? Are you not saying what you really need and feel becaus...

211. Finding Connection Again After an Argument (with Anyone)

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Even if you use all the great tools I’ve taught you in the last 200 episodes during an argument, you might still have trouble reconnecting after an ...

210. How to Resolve an Argument (that Didn’t Get Resolved the First Time)

03 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve had the argument, and the dust has settled but no one’s feeling better (at least not you) because you never actually came to any agreement ...

209. The 5 Signs of Healthy Relationships

26 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

With a career spanning over 35 years in multiple countries and having worked in every environment you can imagine, I’ve learned a lot about what it ...

208. The Secret to Managing Your Emotions: A Step-by-Step Guide

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you have a hard time managing your emotions when life gets stressful? Have you tried tips and tools before, but can’t find anything that works co...

207. How Your Attachment Style Affects You at Work

12 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Last week I taught you how your attachment style affects your personal relationships. Today, we’re applying all those same principles to show how yo...

206. How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Personal Relationships

05 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The research has consistently shown that how you attached to your parents or caregivers as a child affects how you connect in your current adult relat...

205. My Top 5 Rules for Couples Who Work Together

29 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This is one of those times when my education in both counseling and organizational psychology, as well as my many years of experience with clients who...

204. Abby’s Step-by-Step Guide to Starting Your Day Right

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I get asked two questions a lot: First, how do you get so much done every day? And second, how do you seem so happy all the time? The answer to both q...

204. Abby’s Step-by-Step Guide to Starting Your Day Right

22 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I get asked two questions a lot: First, how do you get so much done every day? And second, how do you seem so happy all the time? The answer to both q...

203. Why Awe Will Help You Have an Awesome Life and Relationships

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The latest research suggests that taking the time to experience awe, whether that’s rocking out to a great song, hiking to a beautiful view or havin...

202. 7 Tips for Ending a Relationship the Healthiest Way Possible

08 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I always say that wherever you end your current relationship is where you’ll begin the next one. So if it’s time to end your relationship, you wan...

201. How to Be Honest and Build Trust in a Relationship

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We hear a lot about honesty in relationships but what does that really mean? Do you have to share everything? And how do you share your truth so the o...

200. My Top 10 Tools for Effective Communication in Every Relationship

11 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In the last three decades I’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to happy, connected relationships and effective commu...

199. The 10 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married or Moving in Together

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you’re thinking of moving in or tying the knot, there are some things you’ve got to get clear before that big day if you want a long, succ...

198. The Secret to Difficult Conversations

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We have to have them, but we don’t like them: the difficult conversation. Even if you’re someone who’s more comfortable with conflict, no one re...

197. Are You Staying In a Relationship for the Wrong Reasons?

20 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you wondering if you’re staying in a relationship for the right reasons? Maybe you’ve been waffling back and forth wondering if this relations...

196. 5 Things to Do When a Conversation Turns Negative

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to express your feelings and then your partner gets angry and defensive and says, “What about my feelings?!”...

195. This One Thing Will Improve Your Relationships: Making and Answering Bids

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There’s one tool that will improve all your relationships. It’s not hard to do and it creates emotional connection and trust in seconds. It’s so...

194. How Do You Know If You Really Love Someone?

30 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How do you know if you really love someone? It bugs me when people say, “You’ll just know” as if everyone experiences love so clearly with a bun...

193. How Meditation Benefits Your Relationships (and There's An Easy Way to Learn!)

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's easier than you think to become amazing at meditation and meditating just 15 minutes a day will change your life! Imagine feeling more content in...

192. Ask Dr. Abby: What to Do if You’re Embarrassed by Your Partner

16 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do if you’re embarrassed by your partner? There are four main ways you might be feeling embarrassed about something your partner did or ...

191. How to Be an Assertive and Effective Communicator

09 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There are lots of different communication styles out there but, if you want to be an effective communicator in satisfying relationships, you’ve got ...

190. How Childhood Abuse and Trauma Affects Your Adult Relationships

02 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Everything from your sex life, to troubles with your boss at work, to your ability to trust and be open with your partner can be affected by abuse or ...

189. How Can I Make My Partner Put More Effort Into Our Relationship?

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you feel like you’re the one putting in the lion’s share of effort in your relationship? How can you get your partner to own up and do their fa...

188. The Secret to Happy and Successful Relationships: Attention and Intention

18 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The secret to happy, successful relationships boils down to two things: your attention and your intention. I’ve been talking about the importance of...

187. 5 Research-Backed Ways to Have More Self-Discipline and Self-Control

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Whether you call it self-discipline, grit, determination or willpower, the research shows that people who learn self-control are happier, healthier an...

186. Ask Dr. Abby: What to Do If Your Partner is Friends with an Ex (and You Don't Like It)

04 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Your partner is friends with an ex and it's bugging you! Is it OK to be jealous? Can exes really be just friends? How should you approach your partner...

185. Ask Dr. Abby: How to Discuss Relationship Problems with Your Partner Without it Turning into a Fight

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You’ve got some issue(s) with your partner -- some things they’re doing that are driving you crazy or maybe it’s some things they’re not doing...

184. How to Save a Damaged Relationship: Restart Your Relationship Right Now

21 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

You’re looking to save your relationship but it’s not in a great place. Where do you start? Can you even change a damaged relationship if your par...