The Big Birthday Party
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
There are moments in each of our lives that seem to change everything. An unexpected diagnosis, the sudden end of a relationship, the loss of a job. As our lives veer off course, it can feel like time is dividing into a before and an after. I'm Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist, and my new book, The Other Side of Change, Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans, is all about how we navigate these inflection points. The Other Side of Change pairs singular, real-life stories with scientific insights to help us find meaning in the tumult of change. What if we saw the hardest moments in our lives not simply as something to endure, but as an opportunity to reimagine who we can be?
Why does Malcolm dislike celebrating his birthday?
I'm thrilled to share that Booklist gave The Other Side of Change one of its coveted starred reviews, saying, quote, "...it's impossible not to be moved." The Other Side of Change is out now. Get your copy today wherever you like to buy books.
So I'm calling you because I'm doing a little thing on how I don't like my birthday.
Yes.
And I have questions for you.
Yes, I'm eagerly waiting to hear this because I have spent a lot of time wondering what it's all about.
That's my mom, Joyce. She's very short, speaks very softly. You would like her. Do you remember ever having a birthday party for me when I was a child?
I think we did. We didn't do exotic things. I think you had people sleep over. Or you had some people to tea a few friends from school.
I remember there was once a big party. Really? And afterwards I said, that's enough.
Okay. Now, well, are you going to explain what was enough?
In case you're wondering, my mom is a therapist. I just thought it was a needless production to have all these people over.
What should it have been instead?
Well, what I do now is perfect, which is nothing.
Oh, I see. So you didn't enjoy any part of having friends to eat with you?
No. I haven't had a birthday party since. It's worse than that. I don't remember anyone's birthday. I know my mother's, but not my father's. One of my brother's, but not the other. One of my daughter's was born in July and the other in August, but I'm not sure which is which. If I were to name my five closest friends, I think I know the birthday of one of them. And that's because it's January 1st, and I just saw him on January 1st, and he said to me, with tones of great injury and reproach, Today is my birthday. But I am sure I'll forget that fact really soon. On this particular subject, the overloaded lifeboat that is my memory is refusing all further passengers. And by the way, my mother reminded me, it's not just birthdays that I have a problem with.
It's any kind of arbitrary celebration.
Mrs. Brown was my first grade teacher.
I was very fond of Mrs. Brown. But one day at school, she brought up Christmas and Santa Claus.
And you put your hand up and said, there is no Santa Claus. And she had a real problem because here she was speaking to a group of small children who wanted to believe.
Yes. They're linked, by the way. My disdain for Santa Claus and my disdain for my birthday is part of the same impulse. Yes, of course. Yes, of course, says mom, the therapist. Why am I telling you all this? Because last year, 2025, was the 10th anniversary of when we started making Revisionist History, and I forgot all about it. Totally skipped my mind until I was randomly on the revisionisthistory.com website looking up some forgotten fact from an episode from season one, one of my favorites, Food Fight, and I noticed the release date. July 14th, 2016, and I realized, holy mackerel, we've been around for 10 years. The internet tells me that this is the tin or aluminum anniversary, which I have to say kind of proves my point.
What are you supposed to do on your 10th anniversary? Write I love you in magic marker on a sheet of tinfoil? This was back in the summer. So what did I do? I didn't say anything. Kept it to myself. It's better this way, I thought. But then I remembered a date I went on many years ago with a girl who told me that she turned her birthday every year into a seven-day marathon.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–0:42
2
Why does Malcolm dislike celebrating his birthday?
0:42–8:12
3
What memorable childhood birthday parties does Malcolm recall?
8:12–11:31
4
How does Malcolm's mother view the significance of birthday celebrations?
11:31–21:57
5
What reflections does Malcolm share about the 10th anniversary of Revisionist History?
21:57–30:37
6
What insights were gained from the episode 'The Dog Will See You Now'?
30:37–35:58