Savage Lovecast Episode 930
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You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love. I would do some weird shit if I was a billionaire.
I wouldn't collect Faberge eggs or buy an island in Hawaii without thinking about why buying an island in Hawaii is such a fucked up thing to do to Hawaiians who still live on those islands. I wouldn't get in a tin can powered by a video game console and go down to see the Titanic. And I wouldn't spend hundreds of millions of dollars on a super yacht that can't float. I like to think... Like everyone likes to think that if I was a billionaire, I would do nice shit, not weird shit or problematic shit. If I was a billionaire, I would help out my family and friends and strangers. I would probably keep doing this show because why the fuck not? Man needs an occupation, like Lady Bracknell said. I would pour money into gun control and fund the shit out of any organization with an actual and plausible plan to do away with the electoral college. And I would plant a lot of trees or something. But yeah, I probably would do some weird shit too. Some fucked up shit.
Politically, I would fund a grassroots effort to purge Republican voters from the rolls in red states like Georgia, where right now MAGA Republican weirdos, not elected officials, are purging voters in Democratic districts. I think purging voters from voting rolls is a terrible thing, a bad thing, a terrible idea. Like, gerrymandering is a terrible thing and a terrible idea. But you gotta bring a knife to a knife fight. You don't unilaterally disarm. You say, hey, this is a terrible thing when you do it to us or when we do it to you, so how about we stop doing it to each other? I would also probably do some self-indulgent shit. I would buy the castle in the small village where my boyfriend grew up, which has a tower and a great hall and a chapel and a dungeon and everything. And an island. I would probably buy an island, but in Greece. Here's the thing, though. I don't think anybody should be a billionaire, not even me. The existence of a fortune like that. is evidence of a crime having been committed.
In the same way, finding a body with its head cut off is evidence that a crime has been committed. You may not have seen the murder, you may not have the murder weapon, but that decapitated body all by itself? Evidence a crime has been committed. Probably more than one. In the case of the decapitated body, there's been a murder. People can't decapitate themselves. Someone cut that dude's head off. In the case of the billionaire? For so much wealth to flow to one person at the top, politicians were bought and sold, regulations were undone or went unenforced, wages were stolen. Interestingly, a billionaire did get arrested this weekend. Pavel Durov, a Russian national, founder of Telegram, the end-to-end encrypted message sharing app.
I'm not going to get into the particulars of the alleged crimes for which the French detained Pavel Durov. I just want to talk about the weird billionaire thing that he's done. Fathering children, a lot of them. Not fathering them in the sense that he helps with homework or shows up at school plays, just fathering in the sense that he had an orgasm. He donates sperm, buckets of it, gallons of it, oceans of it. He's reportedly got more than 100 biological children rattling around him. Treating your dick like a Pez dispenser filled with DNA is a lot of things, but it's not fatherhood. But like a lot of weird-ass billionaires, he believes his genetic material is superior to non-billionaire genetic material, and he is a natalist.
People who believe that... Men like him, rich men, white men need to have a lot more kids. And if women don't want to have kids with those men, then we need to figure out how to return to a culture of coercing women to have kids with men they don't want to have kids with. Here's hoping Durov's superior genetic material comes with a trust fund for each and every one of his kids to pay for the cosmetic surgeries they're going to need later in life if they want to look like dad when they grow up. Or look like dad does now. Because Durov's had some work done. Good work. Quality work. He can obviously afford the best. He looks great.
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