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You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.
If you're stuck in a relationship quandary
Two things I wanted to quickly cover before we get to your questions and kick off this week's show. I logged back on to a certain social media platform after being mostly offline for the better part of a week. And the first post I saw was someone from one of my communities saying this, we need to talk about how giving people a plus one for events is low key polyphobic.
And my first thought as a person in a polyamorous relationship was, do we though? Do we really need to discuss this right now? There's a lot going on right now. I don't know if this is what we need to drop everything else and talk about right now. Look, I know the world is built for couples and that can create headaches for those of us who aren't coupled off, but rather tripled or quadrupled off.
Look, my fellow poly people, when you get that invitation to the wedding and it's almost always a wedding where there's A plus one where you are invited to invite someone or bring somebody along with you. It's not so you can bring every emotionally significant person in your life to the event. It's so that you can have someone at the event that you know. So you don't have to come alone.
So you're not at a wedding where you don't know anyone. You don't have anybody to talk to. You don't have anybody to dish with. That's what the plus one is for. It's why people who aren't in relationships at all, who have no significant, at least romantically significant others in their lives are given a plus one. So they have someone, one, someone singular at the event with them.
And to anyone out there who saw that tweet or sorry, that post to a certain social media platform and is currently pulling together a guest list for a wedding, which again is when the plus one thing comes up mostly. And there's someone you want to invite who's Polly and has more than one partner right now.
And you think they might be the sensitive type who would take to social media to complain about you after they got that invitation with a just plus one on it. Yeah.
Look, in my experience, in my lived experience, which is the best argument and most unimpeachable evidence in these subjective times in which we live, in my experience, in every poly triad, let's call it, there is one introvert in that relationship who would rather stay home. So even if you plus two someone in a poly triad, you send out that invitation technically for three hours,
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