Say The Things

116: Why We Take Things Personally

15 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explore reasons why people tend to take things personally when they may not actually be personal. I cover using negative self-talk ...

115: Is Love Enough? The Valentine's Relationship Check-In

08 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I explore whether love alone is enough to sustain a healthy relationship over time. I discuss how respect, trust, communication, comp...

114: The Power of Presence: Tuning In to Your Partner

01 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss how a lack of presence can destroy relationships even more than problems can. I explain what presence means—being fully e...

113: Toxic Silence: How Unhealthy Quiet Can Damage Relationships

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, I discuss the different types of unhealthy or "toxic" silences that can occur in relationships. These include avoidance silence, with...

112: Can Silence Connect?

18 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this week’s episode, I discuss intentional ways to use silence in conversations to nurture intimacy and togetherness with loved ones.  Healthy s...

111: Cultivating Inner Peace in Conversations to Transform Relationships

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, I connect the challenges of nurturing inner peace and its influence on my communication. We delve into the profound effects that i...

110: The Art of Inner Peace: Strategies for Inner Calm

04 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen for insight as I dicuss my personal journey through the chaos of the holiday season, examining the impact of negative bias on thoughts and acti...

109: The Rat Park: The Addiction Antidote

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As we wrap up 2023, join me in reflecting on the profound impact of connections in our lives. Inspired by a powerful analogy about rats in cages, we e...

108: The Power of New Beginnings: The Fresh Start Effect

21 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we explore the incredible phenomenon of the Fresh Start Effect—a psychological reset that occurs when we associate a specific point in time w...

107: Navigating Gender Dynamics in Assertive Communication

14 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join me as we revisit assertive communication, this time exploring the intriguing interplay between gender and communication styles. Drawing from Debr...

106: Assertive Communication: Practical Tips for Everyday Communication

07 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

  Welcome to another episode exploring assertive communication. Today we discuss practical strategies for enhancing assertiveness, starti...

105: Assertive Communication: Discover Your Communication Superpower

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we begin our two-part exploration into the empowering world of assertive communication. Discover how to express your thoughts, set boundaries, a...

104: The Art of Letting Go: Navigating Forgiveness

23 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we discuss the profound impact of forgiveness on our emotional well-being and growth. Reflecting on the complexities of the forgivene...

103: Holiday Ease Please: Bring Ease into the Season

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we open the door to the art of embracing ease this holiday season. Discussing the significance of setting realistic expectations and ...

102: Is All Fair in Love & War? Embracing the Art of Fighting Fair

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today we discuss the gentle art of fighting fair and nurturing healthy communication in relationships. Discover practical tips and insights on how to ...

101: The Four Horsemen of the Conflict Apocalypse: Which Horse Do You Ride?

02 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, we're taking a cue from relationship guru John Gottman, exploring the Four Horsemen of the Communication Apocalypse - Criticism, Contempt, Defe...

100: A Glimpse into My Life

26 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this special 100th episode, you are invited to an intimate glimpse into my life, sharing personal reflections on the delicate balance between comfo...

099: Top 5 Types of Listening to Implement

19 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to "Say the Things." In this episode, we discuss the art of listening, exploring its various forms and how they enhance our connections. We un...

098: Types of Relational Communication: The Overview

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, we're exploring the various types of relational communication that play a pivotal role in building meaningful connections. Whether...

097: I Can't Hold Back: Some Psychology of What's You Holding Back in Communication

05 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to another episode of Say The Things, dedicated to helping you navigate the complexities of connection and communication. In this episode, we ...

096: What about Season 3

28 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In this podcast episode, we quietly celebrate the fourth anniversary of our journey, despite missing the actual date due to a commitment to our summer...

095: Nonverbal Cues: Summer Series 2023

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In the final episode of our series on relational communication, we discuss the vital role of nonverbal communication, which accounts for 70 to 90 perc...

094: Clear & Concise: Summer Series 2023

31 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome back to “Say the Things.” In this installment of our summer series on the top 7 issues in Relational Communication, we're delving into the...

093: Boundaries: Summer 2023 Series

17 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Creating, implementing and maintaining boundaries is only part of successful boundaries.  Don’t skip the step of communication.  Listen to when an...

092: Making Assumptions: Summer 2023 Series

03 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Making assumptions is one of the top seven disconnects in our interpersonal relationships.  Listen for a few tips and tricks to keep you from making ...

091: Resolve Conflict: Summer 2023 Series

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Resolving conflict varies in each situation with each person.  Listen for skills to implement into your life to help resolution become the norm. Epis...

090: Express Emotions: Summer 2023 Series

06 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Expressing emotions in productive ways can be tricky.  Listen to an easy 4 step process to keep communication in your most important relationships he...

089: Active Listening: Summer '23 Series

22 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This summer we are covering the Top Seven Issues in Relational Communication.  Today we discuss active listening, listening to understand.   Episode...

088: Summer Series Intro: Top 7 Issues with Relational Communication

08 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Summer allows more time with family and friends than most other time of the year.  This summer we will cover the Top Seven Issues in Relational Commu...

087: Communicating Invisible Labor

25 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Last episode we learned about Invisible Labor. Today we discuss how and when to communicate areas you want or need help and reasons your conversation ...

086: What is Invisible Work?

11 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Invisible work, the thinking that goes into managing work, family and households.  This phrase entered my world a few months ago and I’ve been doin...

085: The Cost of Silence

27 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We have spoken words that have cost us. Have you ever considered the cost of silence?  The cost of not sharing the important, necessary words of your...

084: Show Up ... For Yourself

13 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

To show up and be present for others is one of the greatest gifts we can offer.  Showing up for ourself is equally important.  Learn to implement a ...

083: I Am Here... and the time I met the mistress

30 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

I am here- a few weeks ago I was listening to a podcast (I cannot recall which one) and the guest was sharing that's the way a friend greets others.  ...

082: What to Say to Grief

16 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Grief is a part of all life, we cannot escape it.  Communicating to people we love in their grief is challenging. We want our words to bring comfort,...

081: Your Story Could Be The Story

02 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

“The Story” by Brandi Carlisle inspired this episode.  We have read or heard stories that helped us, guided us, changed us.  The story helps whe...

080: 3 Ways to Use Music to Communicate

16 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Music is said to be the window to our soul. Listen to three ways we can bring music into commuication whether it be a new acquaintace, a relationship ...

079: Cognitive Restructuring in Communication

02 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Relationships are built on communication.  We are creatures of habit and our conversations tend to follow habits formed by our thoughts.  We can beg...

078: Communication Goal 2023

19 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

New Year, New You is a phrase that's often said to begin the year, or we set resolutions or choose a word or phrase of the year to focus on to improve...

077: 3 Questions to Reflect & Prepare

15 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

2022 is wrapping up.  Listen to three questions to consider when reflecting on 2022 and to set intentions for 2023.  Wishing you a Merry Christmas a...

076: Trust Again

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Trust is essential in healthy relationships.  Today we discuss ways to allow relationships that have been damaged by lies to heal when we learn to tr...

075: Persuasive Communication

17 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Does it feel like no one hears what you are saying and your words are not initiating change? Listen to the 7 steps to improve your persuasive communic...

074: Maybe: Is It Helping?

03 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We have all know the phrases “the power of yes” or “the power of no” and we often respond to invitations with “maybe”.  Listen in as I di...

073: Allow Life to Happen

20 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Allowing life to happen isn’t something that comes naturally to many of us.  Today I discuss what we can control and four questions to ask ourselve...

072: What's Behind Your Anger

06 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We seem to be a lot of angry people.  Is anger what we are actually feeling or are we hiding behind other emotions and expressing anger because it's ...

071: Words: Our Most Powerful Force

22 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This episode kicks off Season 2.  Words are a powerful force.  Many of us have little to no training in communication and our relationships show it....

070: Second Anniversary

25 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week marks the two year anniversary of this podcast.  I share with you what’s been happening in my life behind the scenes over the last two ye...

069: Noticed Isn't Seen

11 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We want to be seen, heard and understood.  Are we displaying information thinking we are being seen and really only being noticed?  Today is a quick...

068: Advocate

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We hve more access to the public cries for what is wrong in the world, in our country.  Advocate is a positive term, many advocates I’ve witnessed ...

067: Let Me Clear My Throat: I'm Not Trying to Be Rude

14 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We often being hard to hear or say conversations with "I'm not trying to be" and then are whatever we just said; whether it be rude, offensive, mean. ...

066: Let Me Clear My Throat: Stop Labeling Selfish as Narcissist

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Not every behavior needs a diagnosis or title from the DSM-5. I see and hear people calling every selfish person a narcissist.  Join me today as I di...

065: Let Me Clear My Throat: Let's Be Honest

16 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s be honest… If I’m being honest… I’m not lying… Do you hear or speak those words and question the honesty of the other words of the c...

064: Find and Use Your Voice: A Review of The Things

02 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We have been discussing ways to implement more of you, your heart and mind into your relationships buy finding and using your voice.  Today is a quic...

063: Successful Strategies for Difficult Conversations

19 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We often tell stories of the words we say, what about the things we don’t say?  Difficult conversations are difficult.  Listen to some strategies ...

062: Let Go of Past Hurt

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How do we speak up about pain and hurt from the past?  Listen in to four ways to take an active role in handling past hurts in your relationships.  ...

061: Conflict to Conversation

21 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever found yourself caught in conflict and can’t find a resolution?  This episode gives you insight into what percentage of our arguments ...

060: Cover Words

07 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A cover song is a new recording or performance of a song by an artist other then the original composer.  There are no original thoughts and words.  ...

059: Apology: Right and Wrong

24 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We all give and receive apologies. We know bad ones, do we know how to offer good ones?  Today I discuss   six components of a successful apology ...

058: Disturb the Sound of Silence

10 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Silence has it’s place in our relationships.  What about the silence that is more like a cancer growing and distancing us from intimacy in our rela...

057: Find Your Voice

24 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

056: Conformity

10 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Today, I discuss the pros and cons of conformity, ways to be aware of it in your life.  Does conforming have a positive or negative effect on us?  E...

055: Speak From The Heart: What Does Your Heart Leak?

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

The words we speak, thoughts and reactions we  have; they come from what lives in our heart.  When we have anger, bitterness, judgement, resentment,...

054: Are You Open to Today?

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We are a few weeks into the new year. How open are we to today’s experiences and opportunities if we are burdened with the trials of yesterday or l...

053: What I learned in 2021

30 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There are different approaches to reflecting on the past.  Today’s episode shares a few perspectives and 5 things I learned in 2021.    https://w...

050: Resist Resistance?:

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Resistance, we may avoid it; it feels like a struggle.  What if we have it wrong?  Resistance is a necessary stage in personal growth.  Without it,...

049: Just Say Thank You:

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Accepting and receiving help can be uncomfortable.  Today’s episode covers six reasons accepting help is hard and offers a few suggestions on how t...

048: Why We Settle:

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Settling, we do it for our own reasons.  There are times to settle and times to soar.  Consider a few ideas of ways to change from settle to living ...

047: Lessons from Ted Lasso

09 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ted Lasso is the topic of today’s episode.  My love of the writing, cast members and dynamics is huge.  One outstanding trait of the characters, t...

046: Things We Don't Say:

26 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

  We say an average of 10,000 words every day, yet there are many things left unsaid.  What happens when we quit sharing with those closest to us wo...

045: What's On the Back of Your Player Card?:

12 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A few months ago while talking to my brother he said the phrase “Everyone thinks they are better than the stats on the back of their player card.”...

044: Listen:

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ever felt lonely and wanted a way out?  Lonely for me was a lack of connection, feeling unheard and unseen.  Listen in for a brief explanation of lo...

043: Let Your Guard Down:

15 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We want to be seen, heard and understood, yet it is difficult to let or put our guard down.  We must learn to live a life with people that’s unguar...

042: Tired of Being Tired?

01 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you tired of being tired?  Today I discuss the difference between sleep and rest.  Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD and author of Sacred Rest: Recover Y...

041: The Impact of Negative Thoughts

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Research shows 80% of our thoughts are negative.  How does the cycle of negative thoughts keep us held in a place of being unaware of the beauty of l...

040: Making Decisions

03 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Decisions are all around us.  Do we make the decisions we need to make as we need to make them allowing life to unfold or do charge ahead not fully a...

039: Do You Validate?:

20 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Validation is the act of helping someone feel heard and understood. It's a powerful relationship tool, we all need.  Validation can boost joy and exc...

038: Hope:

13 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hope, a universal term with two meanings.  How do we frequently use ‘hope’?  Listen as we discuss reason for hope, types of hope, and 7 downside...

037: Advice:

06 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Show Notes: When people in our lives are struggling, we offer advice to help, or we have walked similar paths and share what worked for us. We love to...

036: Talk to Strangers

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How often do you find yourself sharing intimate details with seemingly perfect strangers?  Someone to Talk To by Mario Luis Small asks who we trust w...

035: You've Got A Friend in Fear

22 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We are told ‘do not be afraid’.  We know most fear is negative and over exaggerated.  What can we learn about fear to honor it, assess it to hav...

034: Associate with Anger:

15 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Anger is an emotion we have all sensed, our expression of it differs.  Do you erupt or stuff?  How can anger be an ally.      “I sat with my an...

033: Emotional Processing Style

08 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Our face expresses emotions we are often reluctant to share.  Scientific research is proving unprocessed emotions are the root of almost all physical...

032: Say What You Need To Say:

01 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We communicate every day.  Are we strengthening our relationships or hurting them?  Learn: 4 Types of Communicators Characteristics of Unhealthy Com...

031: Awake or Asleep

25 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Nature is waking up, spring is here.  What in your heart, mind, soul, spirit is awakening?  Today I provide 9 ways to know you are waking up.     ...

030: The Purpose of Spring:

18 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Spring is often ‘everyone’s favorite season'.  What can we learn from transforming from rest to new growth?  Today’s episode we will discuss w...

029: Share Your Story

11 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Stories exist in every culture through all of time.  What is your story?  What is your comfort level with sharing your story?  Listen as we find ou...

028: Self-Love:

18 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Episode Quotes: “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde   “There are two types of relationships, imperfect and...

027: What is Love?

11 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It’s the time of year we make time to celebrate love.  We freely speak of all the things we love, it is really love?   Are we being clear with the...

026: Multitask Myth:

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We live in a culture of hustle and accomplish, the way we can do all the things is to multitask.  What is multitasking?  What is the harm in doing m...

025: The Task at Hand

28 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you have people in your life that approach tasks, work, chores completely different from you? Some people seem to get lost in the process, process ...

024: Decision Fatigue:

21 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ever start the day full of yes, hope, activities, dreams and creativity and then barely make it though the day not accomplishing a fraction of what yo...

023 Who Do You Think You Are:

14 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How do we see ourselves, do we know the adjectives we use to describe ourselves or do they change with our mood?  Self-concept matters.  We discuss ...

022: More

07 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

2021 as arrived.  2020 gave us a lot, was scarcity mindset one of the take-aways?  Let’s dare to dream of what more looks like, find space and tim...

021: Silence the Unsavory Virtue

31 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

“Silence is a virtue”.  What does that mean?  Silence feels like tortue, what is the value?  Listen and explore some of the benefits silence ha...

020: Celebrate Life

24 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

2020 has highlighted the need to celebrate and be intentional with acknowledging accomplishing milestones big and small.  Some celebrate the small th...

019: Savasana, the Winter of Yoga

17 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We are nearing the first day of winter, a season that's fairly polarizing.  What is the purpose of winter, what can we learn from nature?  If you pr...

018: The Pose Begins When You Want to Get Out of It

10 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Life is full of opportunity to withdraw or engage.  Are your responses intentional or reflexive on the effort you put into your commitments and relat...

017: Self-Compassion

03 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Self-compassion, showing kindness to oneself.  How are we doing with this?  My inner critic has quieted, but there’s little kindness and I watch t...

016: Thanksgiving 2020

26 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

There are so many benefits to gratitude.  Today we discuss research from Robert Emmons about myths of gratitude.  The benefit of developing a practi...

015: Priorities:

19 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Song : Ants Marching - Dave Matthews   Quotes: “It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.”  Tony...