I Own a Remote Cabin Outside Area 51. Big Mistake...
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What led Billy to buy a cabin near Area 51?
If you're into horror with a heavy dose of sci-fi, classified experiments and things humanity was never meant to understand, check out my other podcast, The SCP Experience. Each episode pulls you into the hidden world of the SCP Foundation, where dangerous anomalies are studied, contained and sometimes unleashed. These aren't just scary stories, they're classified nightmares. Click here to listen now or search for The SCP Experience wherever you get your podcasts. I watch as the second work crew drives away, the foreman's middle finger sticking out of the work truck's driver's side window. The dust plume the truck makes lifts high into the Nevada air, then is carried away by the desert wind. Part of me expects the foreman to change his mind and come back.
He doesn't, and the truck becomes a dot on the horizon, then is lost behind one of the mountain ranges. I can't remember the names of the mountains, There are like three or four or whatever ranges in this area alone. But the mountains don't matter. It's what close by to them that does. Area 51. A goddamn gold mine of tourism. And I'm going to cash in on that gold. Just as soon as I can get a damn crew to stay on the job and help me renovate the cabin I bought. Well, the cabin that I won is more accurate. It's this close to Vegas, and you see all kinds of sketchy deals and schemes when it comes to Area 51. But I got lucky and actually managed to get myself the deed to a cabin just outside the restricted zone.
If I squint, I can see chain-link fencing. Or it's a heat mirage. I don't know. I see something out there. What I don't see when I turn and stare at my cabin are workers fixing the damn place up. I need this cabin in rentable condition. A.S.A. goddamn P. Pulling out my phone, I dial a number that I shouldn't.
Well, shit. If it isn't Billy Big Brass Williams. Talk about a blast from the past. How's things, BB?
Toots. Good to hear your voice.
Is it? If it's so good, then why haven't you called me? What's it been? A year?
Two years? It's been three years and 16 days. He knows that. We both know that. You bury a body with a son of a bitch like Toots Capaldi, and you remember the date. Kinda need a little help, Toots.
That's so. Big Brass himself needs a favor from little old Toots.
No, Toots. Not a favor. You owe me, remember? There's silence on the line for a moment. I step inside my cabin for a little break from the desert sun and wait him out.
You sure you wanna call in that marker, BB? Once it's done, it's done.
I know how markers work, Toots. And yeah, I want to call it in. Toots laughs.
Man, Big Brass hasn't lost his brass, now has he?
You gonna help or not, Toots?
Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Billy. No need to be rude. Give a man a moment to think. Also, and this will be helpful, maybe you could inform me as to what I will be helping with, if it's not too much trouble. I don't want to bother you, your majesty.
A scorpion crawls across the cabin's half-sanded wood floor. I could crush it under my boot, but what's the point? I bought a cabin just on the outskirts of Area 51. It needs some serious renovation done, and I can't keep a crew working here.
Area 51? You mean that alien place?
Yeah, that one.
Alien place that's a military base? You bought a cabin next to a goddamn government facility? What were you thinking? I bet the crews were shitting bricks waiting for ICE to come along and kick them back to Guadalajara or wherever they came from.
I ignore his casual racism. If you didn't ignore casual racism around these parts, you'd never get anything done. It wasn't ice they were worried about. It was something else.
Oh, that's so. You're really selling the job, BB.
Why do the work crews keep quitting on the renovation?
Listen, I'm strapped. I own this damn cabin, and I need to fix it up so I can rent it out. Rent it out? Toots laughs again.
You're gonna charge a ridiculous amount of money to a bunch of UFO nerds and weirdos. That it, huh, BB? You gonna take some sci-fi suckers for a ride?
No one's getting taken for a ride, Toots. But yeah, I'll charge a premium for the close proximity to the base. Hold on a sec, will ya?
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
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