Why Kids Need Boundaries with Gen Muir
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Who is Gen Muir and what inspired her parenting work?
Hi and welcome to School Shorts with me, Melissa Chan-Green, journalist and mum of two with a passion for education. In this episode, we're speaking with Jen Muir. She might be a familiar name to many listeners for many reasons. She works in a maternity ward as a social worker in Australia. She also works with thousands of families every year in parenting education. She has written a book, which has been a very big seller. So that may be your first introduction to Jen. That book was called Little People, Big Emotions. And she has a new book coming up, which is called Why Kids Need Boundaries. My first introduction was also to the high-low buffalo talking strategy as a family. It has been transformative really for having dinner table conversations in our family so I wanted to share that but also talk about her upcoming work so here is Jen Muir.
Jen, thank you so much for joining us. I have followed your content and your interviews elsewhere for a long time and also your book. So I'm really excited to introduce those people who haven't perhaps come across you before. And can we talk about your previous book, which has been a huge hit with parents? before we get into your new work. So can you tell us about Little People, Big Feelings and just why that message of connectedness is one that you feel is so important?
Okay, Little People, Big Feelings is the book that I wished was by my bedside as I navigated the first decade of parenting. You know, I had read lots of parenting books and when, in hindsight, when you've got more space and you're not feeding small children and you're not under the pump with toddlers, those books can be super helpful and I've gotten so much from parent education that I've sort of worked into. But I wrote Little People, Big Feelings because I wanted it to be the book that I could have digested in the moment. So it's written very much with my own narratives, with my own experiences. Those stories and through my total imperfections and struggles in my parenting, the parents can sort of
grasp those ideas when they're tired and they're time for and and that's that's sort of the why about the book and I have loved mostly hearing back from parents that the number one bit of feedback I get on the book usually is about in page two and parents write to me and say Jen I'm at page two and I'm already crying And I always, I know that sounds weird, but I'm always like, yes. Because for me in my work, I'm trying to shift a perspective and there's a couple of perspectives I'm trying to shift. One of them is the perspective that we're not enough as parents and the perspective like that there is so much pressure in modern parenting and I need parents to know they're doing way better than they think.
And then the other perspective I'm often shifting is our view of our child. Sometimes when behaviour just clouds our vision in a world that's dominated by old school ideas around discipline and the way children should be behaving and seen and not heard. we can get caught up in the idea that our child is giving us a hard time. And one of the things that happens really early in my book is this idea that the big realisation I had very early with my first child that he wasn't giving me a hard time but having a really hard time. And I think parents wait because suddenly the relief of not just seeing themselves as a good enough parent doing the best they can but the relief of seeing their beautiful babies as good enough kids doing the best they can and suddenly we're all okay and it's going to be okay.
So that's why the book and it is written from the perspective of what do I do when my kid bites, hits, doesn't want to go to school, all of those normal things. And the second question you asked was why connection? Little story, but my business is called Connected Parenting because many, many years ago, I worked out connection was the foundation of what made everything in parenting work. Now, I don't call it connected parenting because that is like a style of parenting like i don't advocate for parenting or um whatever i don't know whatever other sort of whatever all the other words conscious parenting i'm not a connected parent i'm just a parent i'm just me and you're just you is how i view it um connected parenting is based in a parenting style we know from the literature is best for kids
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Who is Gen Muir and what inspired her parenting work?
0:02–9:31
2
Why did Gen write Little People, Big Feelings and how does connection help?
9:31–16:10
3
How can boundaries be set confidently without harming attachment?
16:10–19:51
4
What are the four core family rules Gen recommends and why?
19:51–20:57
5
How should parents handle differing boundary styles with partners or grandparents?
20:57–23:10
6
What are High-Low Buffalo cards and how do they improve family conversations?
23:10–25:24
7
How can simple connection tricks like a thumbs-up change children’s behaviour?
25:24–50:14
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from School Shorts
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