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The Kane and Kingy Scramble (04.05.26)

03 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What did Kingy experience during his interesting night on Saturday?

0.031 - 14.158 Unknown

Yes, I DD this footy season. Get your warehouse working smarter. Visit decksinvictoria.com.au today. And Kogan Mobile. Kogan.com. Clickin' awesome. Kane and King. Fire.

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16.687 - 38.062 Kane Cornes

Well, it's a very good morning to all the ballers out there. Rise and grind to those of you who wake up to us at 6.01. We love you the most. Thanks for your company on what is going to be a huge Monday. It's May the 4th already. Beck Danaher is going to join us from Freeze MND. What a cause that has been. Can't wait to check in with Beck. Tom Morris with all the footy news.

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38.082 - 47.199 Kane Cornes

He'll stick around for the agenda live in the studio. All the segments you know and you love. Pull your socks up. The Monday agenda. Are you tapping your microphone?

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47.46 - 59.789 Cameron Ling

Just checking it's working. Just checking it's working. What, have you only been doing this for 10 years? No, I'm just moved. Jeez, you're hot on me. If my chair moves, I farted. If my mic moves, I'm not switched on.

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60.35 - 74.991 Kane Cornes

That voice is the man of the best analyst in football who had a late night, it must be said. I didn't consume any of your first crack last night. I was out. I was gone. I was asleep, Kingy, so you're a better man than me. Never doubted you.

Chapter 2: How did Nathan Buckley's views on Tassie change?

75.071 - 75.732 Kane Cornes

Good morning to you.

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75.872 - 97.572 Cameron Ling

Morning, Conzie. Strong weekend. Strong weekend. I tell you, we're going to be tiptoeing this morning. No, we're not. We're straight in. We're going to be watching what we say today. Why? Oh, she was a strong set tonight.

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100.515 - 122.943 Kane Cornes

Well, it's just another one for the King Files. The King Files are expanding and growing. And look, let's start here because I can probably only do it at this hour. What do you got? Too many kids that are going to be driving on the way to school. But just add this to the Kingy Fives.

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123.805 - 154.332 Cameron Ling

You've got to make a change to that mix. Who do you love? Cumming. I love Cumming. I think he's going to be a sensation. Cumming. I love Cumming. It doesn't sound great on the shorts. Doesn't it? I've only heard it 4,000 times. Listen, anyone out there doesn't think I've seen it, right? You've seen it. I've seen it, trust me. Don't need to send it through. How many people tweeted us that grab?

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154.472 - 165.482 Cameron Ling

It was very funny. I had no idea, right? Even at the time, I had no idea. And my God, Kath Loughnan and Jack Riewoldt hit the deck in a heartbeat after the camera sort of, that little red light went off.

Chapter 3: What insights did Hutchy provide for Melburnians?

165.562 - 170.208 Cameron Ling

They just went crazy. I don't think Jay knew. I think Jay was a bit like me.

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170.228 - 184.425 Kane Cornes

Jay's a bit slow. Well, I did see Jack's face. Very funny. Did a good job. Maybe his best moment in media so far to hold it in and not laugh. I thought that was hilarious. What did you know? As soon as the camera went off?

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184.586 - 201.234 Cameron Ling

Yeah, they hit the deck and I thought, what the hell are they doing? What's happened here? What have I said? Oh, Fox wants you to be authentic, right? They want you to be real, and if you want to say what you want to say, just get it out there, you know?

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201.254 - 206.903 Kane Cornes

It's like that time you called someone a mad cuddler. Mad cuddler. The mad cuddler. Don't worry.

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207.223 - 215.194 Cameron Ling

It was a mad cuddler, all right. Straight away, I thought, you know what? It's a good opportunity for merch in a fireball.

215.955 - 216.415 Kane Cornes

Yes.

216.696 - 218.417 Cameron Ling

You just whack that on a hat and see how it sells.

218.638 - 223.182 Kane Cornes

Well, the hats are selling out. If you want any slogans, let us know.

223.423 - 232.252 Cameron Ling

I reckon just a hat with ILC on it will get it done. If you know, you know. ILC.

Chapter 4: What is the significance of the LeBron Library mentioned in the episode?

232.332 - 232.832 Unknown

That's it.

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232.852 - 234.814 Cameron Ling

It'll be our first unisex offering.

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239.379 - 247.604 Kane Cornes

Oh, what about our man? Who's our man? He may feature on the hat. Oh, yeah, man.

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247.644 - 251.289 Unknown

Yeah, yeah. Get your hand off my penis!

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251.409 - 279.128 Cameron Ling

Jack is his name, isn't it? I can never remember his name, that guy. Jack Cassels. Oh, I did. I don't know whether I should say this or not, but my mates are ruthless on anything that goes awry. So you can get some entertaining stuff out of them, right? So one of my mates is really hot on Jack. Anyway, he's of the belief that Jack repeats what I say five minutes later, right? Okay.

279.148 - 280.37 Cameron Ling

Which is a little bit nasty.

281.412 - 283.114 Kane Cornes

I'm going to keep it on.

283.134 - 305.443 Cameron Ling

He regularly just, there's another one, there's another one. Anyway, five minutes after I've dropped I Love Sam Coming, he said, I'll bet you he doesn't go with that in five minutes. I love Sam. It's the only one I replied to for two hours. No, I don't see this one.

307.105 - 310.769 Kane Cornes

The long days get you, though, those Saturdays. I can understand.

Chapter 5: What happened with Mark Stevens' call on Richmond?

346.205 - 350.431 Kane Cornes

The AI man wasn't able to find it. I don't know how it works. He can find anything.

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350.491 - 361.047 Cameron Ling

I don't know how it works in there at Channel 9. You know how it all works. I do. But I've never got an apology for not being a major part of it, which was a nice sign. I thought, this is good.

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361.127 - 382.264 Kane Cornes

Thank you, Nathan. I watched Mediocre online yesterday, and I think of the, let's just say they did 12 things. I reckon 11 of them were Channel 7 related. So just have a little taste of how many times he has a crack at Channel 7 or Channel 7 personalities. Oh, you're onto this.

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382.625 - 382.865 Cameron Ling

Yeah.

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383.306 - 402.351 Tom Morris

Tom Morris is the new flavour of the month at Channel 7, but it seems old habits die hard. The chemistry between Mitch and Tom is off the charts. Marcus Bontempelli has been a one-man army for the Dogs. Just ask Beck Madden. And finally, Mitch Cleary is quickly finding out there's no friends in the footy media. Now that's media focus.

403.934 - 427.047 Kane Cornes

It was... I think there was one Ralphie and the rest were Channel 7. He's very brave. That's all I'll say. He's very brave considering he works... For Channel 7 now. And there's eyeballs all over this. So he's either incredibly stupid or very brave. I'll give him the credit that he's brave and not stupid.

427.648 - 431.975 Cameron Ling

Now, just let people for the first time, the first time listeners know what you're talking about.

431.995 - 444.096 Kane Cornes

Well, Channel 7 and Triple M have merged and are one company and are supposed to be supporting each other. And you'll see promos on YouTube. Triple M for seven. You'll see promos on seven for Triple M. Oh, yeah, we hear you.

444.116 - 446.059 Cameron Ling

There they are, the guys on Triple M nailing it.

Chapter 6: What tips did Miles Pfitzner share for the weekend?

460.158 - 465.925 Kane Cornes

You've seen me. You know that I list this, how I find all these little gold nuggets that I bring to the table, Kingy.

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466.105 - 466.866 Cameron Ling

I know how you do it.

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467.347 - 472.113 Kane Cornes

It's a watch. It's a watch? Well, I think it's very, very brave.

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472.153 - 495.099 Cameron Ling

Do you think that this sort of behaviour will cost him his job? I know. You've just gone this extreme. I'm extreme, mate. Tell me anyone else who dropped ILC on here. I'm extreme. You've got no filter this morning. I'm going down. I'm going down the blaze of glory.

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495.119 - 497.982 Kane Cornes

What else happened? Life's been... On the weekend?

498.755 - 527.743 Cameron Ling

You couldn't just give me a little bit of Audio 7 there, could you, boys? This is a moment. I want to do this properly. I want to do this justice. We've had a stinker on the weekend. No. Yeah. We haven't. It finally happened on the weekend. No, it didn't. The 87 XF. The 1987 XF Falcon. It's turned its toes up.

527.783 - 531.85 Kane Cornes

No. I don't believe it. It's fixable. It must be. Where is he?

531.91 - 549.381 Cameron Ling

Where are you going to get parts for that? If anyone out there has got an XF from 1987 in their backyard... Let us know. We need some parts. Geordie, turn your mic on. Get him on.

Chapter 7: How did the discussion evolve around the XF Falcon?

549.621 - 552.825 Kane Cornes

Get your mic on. Right now. Tell us what happened. No.

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553.486 - 559.694 Unknown

Rumour reaches me. I didn't know I was playing that music for me. What happened?

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560.094 - 561.276 Kane Cornes

What's happened?

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563.098 - 573.121 Unknown

I almost didn't get to the game of footy on the weekend I was meant to call. Oh. Yeah. So I was calling the game in Geelong on Saturday, and I've gotten the card to... In Geelong.

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573.141 - 575.969 Kane Cornes

In Geelong. Jeez, it was ambitious.

575.989 - 580.281 Cameron Ling

I think he was going to make it to Geelong in the first place. Did you get the hoppers crossing? Whatever.

580.75 - 606.062 Unknown

I've done the trip before. It gets there. It gets me there and back. Just. You don't need reverse. That's what. What happened? Anyway, I've gone to take off from home to Geelong. Pardon me. To Geelong. I've gone to take off. And I had to do a three-point turn right out the gates, right? So I've gone to do the three-point turn. Did the first point. Couldn't reverse it out of the curb. Oh, no.

606.803 - 618.975 Unknown

What street was it? On Hoffman Street. Hoffman Street. Just a quiet street. Yeah, I know. So I've whipped it around to get the first point of the three-point turn.

619.496 - 633.824 Cameron Ling

It did look weird. He had three prostitutes and two ice chunkies just pushing him back on the road. Not unusual for them to be getting out of your car and saying that.

Chapter 8: What are the implications of the media commentary discussed?

703.983 - 711.474 Unknown

They did look at the transmission, but they said you have to take it to a specialist. So that's the next move is taking it to a transmission specialist.

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711.494 - 714.519 Kane Cornes

No, the next move is probably getting another car.

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715.36 - 727.54 Cameron Ling

It's still got a pulse. It's Geordie. No, this is a family heirloom, this thing. We need an intervention here. He'll give it to his kids and his kids' kids will. I'm telling you, this thing will be around for another decade or so.

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727.56 - 728.902 Unknown

It's an 87XF. It'll run forever.

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728.922 - 731.386 Cameron Ling

You just don't see any of them. You don't see them on the roads anymore.

731.406 - 731.767 Unknown

Exactly.

732.068 - 764.147 Cameron Ling

So what I've thought, Cornsy, when it hit me that someone told me via a little sort of sneaky text message, I thought, we know how to fix this. If there's one thing we know how to fix, right, all he has to do, is buy a raffle ticket in Kilcunda Bass. Ball Club raffle. I know a bloke who knows a bloke who can make sure his ticket comes out first.

764.347 - 774.736 Kane Cornes

Oh, for those wondering what we're talking about, the triple agent just happened to win his own raffle on a brand new sparkling Mitsubishi.

774.756 - 800.323 Cameron Ling

Oh, yeah. So it got me thinking, right? And we've had a pretty good set of numbers come back to us this year. And I think if the ballers have some real heart, some real compassion for where Geordie is, he's had to get around an 87 XF Falcon. It hasn't looked mint for the best part of 35 years. We're going to start a GoFundMe for Geordie, and we're going to get him into a decent vehicle.

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