Chapter 1: What are the implications of Allen's potential release from prison?
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My father was born on December 25th. So ever since we moved to the United States 45 years ago, his birthday has been a national holiday and the start of winter break for his kids and then grandkids. Everyone gathers at his house in Cape Cod. Everyone, not just the birthday man, gets gifts. Lena and Alan used to come, of course, but now it's Priscilla who comes with the kids.
My father always has his wife take a picture of him surrounded by his children, me and my three brothers, and grandchildren, seven of them, including O and L. This past December, we gathered for my father's 81st birthday. At some point during that party, I got an email from Alan in prison. I was unplugged, so I read it the next day.
It was the usual Alan stuff, like a note from a travel journal, meant to remind me that he was still living a most fascinating life. He name-checked some celebrities serving time in the same facility. Sean Diddy, he wrote, seems depressed, while the cryptocurrency fraudster Alex Mashinsky is brilliant and fascinating. But mostly, Alan was asking me to pass on his birthday wishes to my father.
He wrote, End quote. A 10-year prison sentence isn't as long as it seems. For one thing, because it doesn't last 10 years. Alan is currently slated to be released in 2030, after spending roughly eight years behind bars. So we're about halfway now between Alan's arrest and his planned release.
We're at the point, that is, when there can be no denying that in the foreseeable future, Alan will leave prison and will almost certainly want to rejoin the family. I don't think any of us really knows how to address that prospect. And for weeks, I didn't know how to respond to Alan's email. Then I finally figured out what I wanted to say to him.
I'm Em Gessen, and from Serial Productions and The New York Times, this is the fifth and final episode of The Idiot.
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Chapter 2: How has M.'s perspective on Allen changed over time?
Whether that happens is up to my dad. He is the reason that our family is as elastic as it has been. He is the one who has kept in touch and welcomed ex-partners and distant relatives who otherwise would have vanished from our familial horizon.
But it turned out that over the years when I grew somewhat more sympathetic to Alan, my father had traveled on the opposite trajectory in relationship to Alan and Nana too.
After what happened, I don't want to see them and to hear from them at all.
I think last time I talked to you, you were really sad about losing your sister.
No, that's of course true as well, but I lost her for good. So I don't feel any... Now I just don't have a sister.
I had never heard my dad say anything like this before. It's not that he is sentimental, just the opposite. He is clear-eyed and rational. He knows that people do terrible things, and that this can include the people one loves. I've never known him to say that something is unforgivable, outside of war and genocide anyway. What would it take for them to return to the family?
First of all, for Alyosha to admit his guilt, not to pretend that he is not guilty, that would be step number one. What should follow, I don't know.
The problem is, I think Alan believes that he can't ever admit that he tried to have Priscilla killed. Because if he does, his kids won't have anything to do with him. My father, for his part, has assumed the role of the kid's grandfather. That's what they call him, too. And he's a fiercely protective grandfather. He has no patience for Alan's dilemma.
So, what role do you think he should have in the kids' lives? None at all. As far as my father is concerned, Alan, who took out a hit on his ex-wife, and Lena, who keeps insisting that he didn't, are off the island. Or at least the Cape Cod Peninsula. He hasn't seen either of them in almost four years. He didn't want to talk about the pain of losing his sister. That chapter is closed.
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Chapter 3: What challenges does Priscilla face in her new life without Allen?
It includes other home health aides and a Zimbabwean neighbor who has a daughter who babysits. And even, I realized, the old lady with dementia. Priscilla has built a life in which she and the kids can be stable. O has his music lessons again, and horseback riding and fencing, along with Russian math lessons. It's a thing, Russian math. And other activities.
L has most of the same activities, along with gymnastics. All of this requires an almost superhuman effort from Priscilla. But it's important to her that she's doing all of this on her own, without Alan and Lena's help or interference. Lena has other ideas.
Oh, wow. Okay. Where would you like me to start? Oh, my goodness.
Well, let's start with Lena suing Priscilla. So what is the status of that case? How did that go?
Okay, so basically how it started, she actually sued to be able to see or spend time with the kids that had previously been allocated to Alan. So she wanted to take over his parenting time. And the judge obviously said, no, that's not going to happen because you're not a parent. Then she filed again asking for weekends. The judge said no.
Then she tried getting one of Alan's friends to talk to me, almost like bribery.
Remember, at his own murder-for-hire trial, Alan testified that he had solved many a life problem with a bribe. As Priscilla describes it, a childhood friend of Alan's, a son of a close friend of Lena's, approached Priscilla with an offer, a monthly stipend in exchange for letting Lena see the kids.
And I just told him no. I would rather live in my car than take money and risk something happening to my children. Take money from somebody who's obviously unstable.
Priscilla is talking about Lena. Obviously unstable strikes me as an accurate description. Because I've now read over 100 pages of court documents related to Lena's lawsuit. And much of it corroborates what Priscilla told me happened next. Lena confirmed money was offered. although she doesn't characterize it as a bribe.
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Chapter 4: What legal battles are unfolding between Priscilla and Lena?
Obviously, Priscilla had good reason to fear that Lena would badmouth her to the kids. Lena still spoke Russian to the children. The judge had specified that Lena wasn't to give the children gifts, but you guessed it. The supervisor texted Priscilla asking what to do, and Priscilla said let them keep the gifts, because who wants to take a gift away from a small child?
According to court papers, one time, when the supervisor wasn't looking, Lena slipped a very special gift into O's bag.
And inside was this book that Alan wrote.
Yes. In prison, Alan wrote a book. It's called The Locked Up Lawyer. Alan used a pseudonym, but Lena advertised the book to friends and family as having been written by him. She also illustrated it. Her name was on the Amazon page next to Alan's pen name. The book is self-published. It's currently number 3,960,562 on Amazon.
But it has eight five-star reviews, including one signed by Alan's ex-girlfriend, the one who says that Alan made her feel like a goddess. During our phone conversations, Alan had told me that he was writing a book of short stories and a philosophy book, both intended for O. I asked to read them, of course, but he never sent anything.
But just a month after we finished talking, the locked-up lawyer was published. I think this was the book intended for O. It consists of vignettes on the people Alan presumably met in prison. But the most important story might be the one Alan tells on the back cover.
This collection of notes and observations would never have happened if I wasn't set up by the FBI and charged with a crime I didn't commit.
I only had time to read the back, but that was enough to pique his curiosity. As soon as I picked them up, the first thing he said to me was, oh, I saw Papa's book, Papa wrote a book, and he was set up by the FBI, etc., which for a kid is very confusing.
Priscilla has continued to take extreme care with talking to the kids about Alan. Ella's still little and doesn't remember Alan well at all. She's just told that her dad works far away. O is 12 now, so there's no hiding from him facts that are easily available on the internet. Priscilla involved O's therapist in telling him.
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Chapter 5: What are the dynamics of family relationships in the wake of crime?
We've given you an hour. And yeah, I think we've heard enough.
But before that happened, a copy of the locked-up lawyer had been entered into evidence.
The judge read the cover, and you could see from her demeanor that she thought it was insane that she would give a book like that to a 12-year-old.
Lena said that she had no idea how the book ended up in O's bag. The judge's decision read in part, I think that's the judicial equivalent of, I'm fed up with your shenanigans. The judge ruled that Priscilla was no longer obligated to allow Lena any visits with the kids. And the judge also ordered Lena to stop criticizing Priscilla on social media.
I no longer have access to all of Lena's Facebook posts. But from my past exchanges with Lena, I can imagine what the court decision is aiming to ban. I gather that Lena is still convinced that she, and only she, knows the right way to raise these children. Anna has always approached child rearing as a sort of design project.
When I was a teenager, she told me that she had chosen Alan's biological father for his hereditary talent. His own father was a famous poet, and for his excellent hair. At the time she said this, Alan was a little kid with an impressive head of hair. but he lost all of it by the time he was 30.
And as for literary talent, I mean, yes, I found the locked-up lore pretty engaging, but I think it's fair to say that a self-published book written in prison is not what Lena once had in mind. When Priscilla and Alan named their son O, Lena pointed out to me that his name was a sort of mirror image of my own son's name. And when they write a book together, the names will look good on the spine.
O was Lena's new project, which is, I think, why she felt she had to have full control of him. Years earlier, when Alan was in jail on kidnapping charges and Priscilla gained full custody of O, my father became a go-between. He Skyped with O regularly and reported back to Lena about how her grandson was doing.
She demanded to know which pages of which Russian books O was reading and how many pages, and expressed her dismay regularly. Not enough pages. Not of all the right books. As if falling short of the daily goal for Mary Poppins and Russian wasn't bad enough, Lena complained in the family chat that O was not receiving hot chocolate, or enough hot chocolate.
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Chapter 6: How does the family navigate the impact of Alan's actions?
So, so, so close. To our house. I stopped and I recorded her because I didn't want, you know, no, I wasn't there. Yes. You know, he said, she said. So I recorded her. I was like, Lena, what are you doing here? Lena, what are you doing here? I'm saying, what are you doing here? I'm asking what you're doing here.
Priscilla, that's you. Hello.
Yes. And she's like, oh, you know, acted surprised to see me. Like, oh, Priscilla, is that you? Oh, so good to see you. Blah, blah, blah. I'm waiting for a friend. I'm like waiting for a friend here. OK, OK, I'm waiting for a friend in my neighborhood. I don't know where you live.
And she's not supposed to know where you live, right?
She's not supposed to know where we live, but I think at this point, that's totally a lost cause. She knows where he goes to school. I'm sure this was not the first time she has followed him. She's probably followed him all the way home because she was so close to our house. There's absolutely no way she doesn't know where our house is.
Priscilla's lawyer wrote to Lena, warning her to stay away. Lena wrote to her own lawyer, claiming that she had come to the neighborhood to pick up something that she had bought from Facebook Marketplace.
Priscilla doesn't believe her, because Lena lives a couple of towns away, and because the corner Lena was standing on is the intersection of two minor residential streets, unremarkable, except for the fact that it's on O's route from school. Also, this wasn't the first time Lena had been spotted in the neighborhood.
A few months earlier, O told Priscilla that he thought he had seen his grandmother outside his school. Priscilla asked the school to check security camera footage, and they showed her what they'd found. Lena, with O going right past her on his scooter. Lena denied to Priscilla that she'd been there. I've seen a photo from the surveillance tape. It's Lena. Why did she come?
Why did she bring her dog? Is she a lonely grandmother who just wants to get a glimpse of O, the apple of her eye? Is she hoping that O will stop and linger to pet the dog? Or is she, the woman who was with Alan both times he took O across international borders without Priscilla's permission, casing the joint? There's that fuzzy boundary again, between pathetic and menacing.
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Chapter 7: What role does communication play in family healing?
This was in addition to tracking O's phone, having security cameras on her house. Priscilla feels that she has to be vigilant at all times.
You can't trust a person who does things like this because, you know, at some point as a grown up person, you think logically, OK, you know what, this is a little too much. Maybe let me take a step back. But she seems to have none of those boundaries, like nothing like that crosses her mind. She'll do whatever. And that is the most frightening part of it all.
And this is the level of fear that Priscilla feels, has every reason to feel, even while Alan is in prison. I worry about what will happen when he is released. He will be a man in his mid-50s, a disbarred attorney who has lost many of his professional and social connections. A man with nothing to do, but rejoin his mother in their project. Therefore, Leo Doe. Are you concerned for your safety?
I am. And, you know, I think it would be foolish not to be. This is someone who is still trying to convince everyone that they did nothing wrong, knowing that nobody believes them anyway.
When Alan was first convicted, Priscilla had this idea, she told me at the time, that when he was released, the kids would be older, O practically an adult, and she wouldn't have to worry for their safety or her own. But in fact, O is still going to be in high school when his dad comes out of prison. And then there's all that force and desire and charm that Alan will bring to winning him back.
I kept thinking about how to respond to the email I got from Alan on my dad's birthday. I didn't want to ask him about prison life. I didn't want to send a report on the birthday celebration on Cape Cod. I certainly no longer felt like telling Alan anything about his kids.
After Priscilla told me about Lana's behavior, I felt sick to my stomach every time I imagined what will happen when Alan is released. Finally, I decided to do what I hadn't done in the months I'd spent working on this podcast. Tell Alan what I really think. Or, more to the point, what I think I should do. Hi, Alyosha. It took me a while to decide to write this note.
But since you're going to hear this on the podcast, should you decide to listen to it, I thought I should. I didn't pass on your birthday wishes to my father. Because when I interviewed him this time on Cape Cod for the closing episode, he made it clear that he doesn't want to hear from you. I think you should know this, and should know why.
He said that unless you admit what you did and try to make amends, no contact is possible. It seems that your strategy has been to keep denying that you hired someone you thought was going to kill Priscilla.
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Chapter 8: What does M. ultimately decide to communicate to Allen?
I have a friend who has spent many years, her whole life in fact, thinking about people who have committed horrible crimes. Her own mother was sentenced to life in prison when she was a baby, so when I say her whole life, I mean it. She told me some things that I find very useful in thinking about you. That sometimes people do truly terrible things, and this includes people in our families.
People who in some way or another will always be connected to us. And that people do these terrible things when the noise in their heads gets unbearable. I think I can imagine the noise in your head. How stuck you felt. How it seemed to you that any way out was justifiable. When I think about it, I do feel compassion. Perhaps other members of our family can come to see this too.
But again, this would have to begin with honesty on your part. That's the end of my letter. Alan didn't write back to me. Instead, he filed a lawsuit trying to stop the release of this podcast. In his filing and in letters to the New York Times, he accused me of pursuing what he called a decades-long family feud, and of all sorts of other things I'm not going to repeat.
These were lies, and they made me very angry. For a full 24 hours, I fantasized about taking revenge. I could report him to ICE. Aren't they supposed to be deporting immigrants convicted of violent crime? He could get deported to Russia. And then, and then he could get arrested there and rot in Russian jail for the rest of his life.
And then Priscilla and the kids would finally be free of him and the fear he brings. And then... Did I go looking for a way to actually get Alan deported? I did not. Because I'm not an idiot.
Someone's got it in for me They're planting stories in their prayers Whoever it is, I wish they cut it out quick But when they will, I can only guess They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy. She earned hands and a million bucks, and when she died, it came to me. I can't help it if I'm lucky.
The Idiot was reported and written by me, M. Gessen, and produced by Daniel Guillemette with Andrei Barzenka and Lika Kramer of Libro Libro Studios. Our editor is Julie Snyder. Additional editing by Ira Glass and Sarah Koenig. Research and fact-checking by Ben Phelan and Marisa Robertson-Texter. Original score by Alison Leighton-Brown. Additional music from Dan Powell and Marion Lozano.
The show was mixed by Phoebe Wang with additional mixing by Katherine Anderson. Additional production by Fia Bennett. At Serial Productions, Ndeye Chubu is our supervising producer. Mac Miller is our associate producer. Video production by Sean Devaney. Art direction from Kelly Doe. Art by John Kern. Credits music by Bob Dylan. At The New York Times, our standards editor is Susan Wessling.
Legal review by Alameen Sumar, Dana Green, Jackson Bush, and Tim Tai. Our senior operations manager is Elizabeth Davis-Morner. And Sam Dolnick is deputy managing editor of The New York Times. To find out about our upcoming shows and more about this show, sign up for the newsletter at nytimes.com slash serial newsletter.
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