Attachment theory was originally based on the assumption that everyone is or wants to be monogamous; however, many people are polyamorous or otherwise engaged in consensual nonmonogamy. So how does attachment work when you have more than one partner? Can you have secure attachments with several partners at the same time? Let’s talk about it! I am joined once again by Jessica Fern, a Psychotherapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and author of the book Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and NonMonomgamy. She is also the author of the all-new Polysecure Workbook. Some of the topics we discuss include: Is monogamy really a prerequisite for developing secure attachment? Do you have to be securely attached in order to be happy? How can opening up a relationship change our attachment patterns, for better or for worse? Why it’s important to be securely attached to yourself. How to build more secure attachments. What to do when you and your partner(s) have different attachment styles. How you can tell when you’ve reached the saturation point for attachment-based relationships in your own life. To learn more about Jessica, visit jessicafern.com and be sure to check out Polysecure and the new Polysecure Workbook. Thank you to our sponsors! Level-up your intimate life with Beducated, the Netflix of better sex! They have a whole library of online courses to teach you what you need to know. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: http://beducate.me/pd2241-lehmiller The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Ask this episode

“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

Transcript

Related