Initiating sex is something that a lot of people struggle with. So why is it hard, and how can we make it easier? That’s what we’re talking about in today’s show. In this episode, we’re revisiting a wonderful conversation I had with Vanessa and Xander Marin, the co-hosts of the “Pillow Talks” podcast and co-authors of the book, Sex Talks: Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Some of the questions we answer include: Why is initiating sex so hard for so many people? What are the dos and don’ts of sexual initiation? How do you figure out your initiation style? How do you say “no” to a partner’s initiation attempt without hurting their feelings? Are there ways to encourage your partner to initiate sex more often? Make sure to check out Vanessa and Xander’s website, and visit their Youtube, Instagram, and TikTok to learn more. And be sure to get a copy of Sex Talks! Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors! Tap into your natural sex appeal, attract the person you’re looking for, cultivate meaningful connections, and re-ignite the spark in your relationship with The Art of Sex Appeal class by Shan Boodram on Masterclass. Sex and Psychology listeners can get an additional 15% off any annual Masterclass membership at masterclass.com/sexandpsychology The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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