Let's talk about why initiating sex in your relationship started feeling like a test… because somewhere along the way, that moment of reaching for your partner stopped feeling like closeness and started feeling like a pass-fail question hanging in the air. Am I about to get rejected? Am I going to disappoint them? And when initiation starts to feel that way, both people stop doing it. In this episode I'm giving you five concrete steps to change the whole dynamic, starting with one reframe that makes everything else possible. We're talking about how to read the room before you even reach for your partner, what to say instead of do you want to have sex, how to bridge the gap when one of you has been thinking about it all day and the other just got done folding laundry, and the one response to a no that either builds or destroys trust over time. If you've ever felt guilty for saying no, talked yourself out of initiating, or noticed that the affection in your relationship quietly disappeared along with the sex, this episode is for you. ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex. CONNECT: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/⁠ X: ⁠https://twitter.com/sexwithemily⁠ Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily⁠ TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily⁠ Threads: ⁠https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily⁠ WANT MORE? Visit the Website: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/⁠ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/guides/⁠ Text With Me: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/text⁠ Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe⁠ Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to ⁠http://sexwithemily.com/coaching⁠ to apply! This episode is sponsored by: Bellesa: EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! ⁠https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast⁠ ============================= Chapters: 00:00 When Initiation Starts to Feel Like a Test 01:20 Meet Dr. Emily & Why Initiation Trips Couples Up 02:08 The Mindset Shift: Invitation, Not Contract 02:28 Reframing Initiation as an Invitation 03:40 The Five-Step Overview 03:55 Step 1: Time the Invitation 04:26 Step 2: Make It an Invitation, Not an Audition 05:34 Step 3: Close the Desire Gap 07:18 Step 4: Ditch the Yes-or-No Trap (Try the 1-10 Scale) 08:48 Step 5: Protect the No 09:59 The Bigger Conversation to Have Outside the Bedroom 10:31 Recap: Building Safety So Desire Can Grow Don't miss a video! Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/@sexwithemilyofficial?sub_confirmation=1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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