Chapter 1: What urgent case do Sherlock and Watson need to solve?
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Aunt Gwen said I should come by.
Yes, well, tell Aunt Gwen that I have plenty of low-ranking officers to deal with on a weekly basis. I don't need another one. She said she dumped you. She did not dump me. She used me to crack a case her officers couldn't even fathom. And now she's fretting about some PR nonsense.
So, she dumped you.
She did not dump me.
I have a case.
I will be playing my violin in my bedroom.
It's a vandalism case. Vandal? Well, it isn't. And it is. They use something to smash it open first. Something heavy.
What?
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Chapter 2: What vandalism incidents are connected to Napoleon busts?
Yeah, I don't think we've ever done vandalism cases before. Because, like John says, they're always random, destructive. I agree with you.
I completely agree with you. Or at least I did agree with you until two hours and fourteen minutes ago.
What happened two hours and fourteen minutes ago?
Another vandalism incident.
Right.
Another scene, other side of London, totally untouched, everything in order, but for one item. A plaster bust of Napoleon Bonaparte.
Fine, fine. I'm intrigued. Goodness sake. Are you kidding me? Another one.
Smash to pieces.
Six Napoleons.
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Chapter 3: How do the characters deduce the identity of the vandal?
Random. Just stick it in him. Especially if he was behind the guy. He could have slashed his throat if he was a cold-blooded killer. No signs of a struggle on his person. Looks like he didn't even know the intruder was there. Ran for the door and was... Yeah, stabbed. I was, um... Did Napoleon Bonaparte at least make it out alive? He did. Oh, okay. That's... good.
Until he was smashed to pieces outside in a private park. Oh, shit. Which is... interesting, at the very least. The day... was a number of things. Not sure interesting would make it into my top five descriptions, to be honest. Busts 1, 2 and 3 were destroyed at night. And what did our vandal... Vandal slash murderer. What did our vandal slash murderer do, Watson? Smash the Napoleon.
No, what did he do at night to compensate for the lack of visibility? Light. Light in the shop. Light in the pub. And... The alleyway. Behind the beer garden. Street lamp. Exactly. Today he didn't require it. It was daylight. But he took the bus and did it outside because of... Noise? Exactly. In Morse, the alarm is already going off. Same for the pub.
Chapter 4: What clues lead to the discovery of the busts' significance?
Noise is not a problem. Light was the problem on those occasions. So what did our perpetrator gain from the use of light in the darkness? So... So he can see? So he can see. But see what? Exactly that, Watson. Exactly that. There's something in them? Not quite. Not quite? There's something in one of them. And we are in a race, my dear companion, to find which one. What do we do now?
We act like our plaster-headed emperor friends and break apart.
Hello, listeners. You join us in Berkshire, Reading, to be exact.
We are currently... What's up? Steady? Currently heading in the wrong direction, apparently. Sorry, mate. We are in Reading, headed as quick as we bloody well can to the property of Mr Josiah Brown at number 56, Lower Grove Road. Sherlock, you bought a ticket. You don't need to jump the barrier. I'm overstimulated. For God's sake. And, um... Yeah, we've just got off the train.
As Sherlock said, we have broken apart, boys v. girls. Well, boys working in conjunction with girls. Kind of. We'll still win. Mariana and our new friend, Lily Lestrade, have gone to the house of Mr. Simon Sanford in Chiswick, southwest London.
The owner of bus number six. And we are over here in Berkshire, sprinting to...
Oh, crap. A way too crowded taxi route. We can't wait for this queue. It's London commuters. Bloody Londoners. Shut up. Move. Get out of the way. Oh, for God's sake. This is useless. Will you all piss off back to London? Ouch. Bikes. Bikes. Bike higher. Sherlock, bikes. Go, go, go. Yes. Okay. Bike acquired. Wait, QR code. Accept cookies. Accept terms and conditions.
No, don't email me promotional stuff.
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Chapter 5: Who is Beppo and what role does he play in the case?
Yes, do email me friends and family discount to get 50% off my ride. Sherlock, I'm sending you a discount code. Will you just hurry up? Aha, approved. Yes, let's go, baby. Watch it.
Oh, sorry, sorry. Number 44, number 46, number 48, 50, 52, 54, 56, we're here, we're here. Of course he's got stone lions on his front gate.
Excuse me, Mr Brown, if you're in there. No time for niceties, Watson. His gate is locked, Sherlock. Then we open it. How? This interface here for the code entry. Yes, that's what we like. Nice and cheap. These have a service setting that allows for maintenance and repairs. All you have to do is hold down the... Whoops, no, that's the alarm. Hold down cancel and enter at the same time.
Three, two, one. And there she goes. Why do you know this stuff? For occasions like this. After you. Thanks. Hey, Mr... What are you doing? Saving Mr Brown's life and possibly ours. Quiet. Why not? Because the back door is open. I can see through this front room window here. Right to the back of the house. Oh shit, you're right. Why is the back door open? Because somebody just broke into it.
Not good. This way. Here, here, here. The door looks fine. To me. Now, look. On the keyhole. Traces of a resin... Risen, yes. Vital for a sculptor's work. So? He's replicated the key by making a fortified cast of the lock. And now he is inside with his victim. Are you talking about Napoleon Bonaparte or Josiah Brown? Reflecting on the case of Mr. Harker, John, I fear I'm talking about both.
Mic is recording. As is this. Of course, body cam. Hi. Did you just wave?
You could record your own adventures with that thing. Yeah, I'm sure Auntie Commissioner would be thrilled with that. Deep breaths.
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Chapter 6: What evidence suggests a deeper crime involving the busts?
Don't see any signs of intrusion. Lights are on, cars are here. I think I hear kids inside. I'd say we're here just in time. Well, let's hope you're right. Hello there. Hello. Simon Sanford?
That's right, yes.
My name is DC Lily Lestrade. This is my colleague, Mariana Ametrazora. We'd like to come in and have a look at your Napoleon bust, if that's alright.
Oh.
Would that be okay?
But I didn't call you. The police, I mean. I didn't call you.
No, you didn't. We're just giving it a once-over due to some activity related to vandalism we're seeing.
Oh, OK.
Everything all right, sir?
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Chapter 7: How do Sherlock and Watson confront the suspect?
The statue here? This one? Looks a bit scary, yes. But guess what? In real life, he was very little. Don't be scared. But, yeah, no, I really like your... the look of the place. Super cute. Thank you. Very minimal. I like that. I like to be neat.
Neat? That's just kids. Best keep the valuable things out of harm's way.
He's right. He's right there. Sorry, who's right there?
No, no, no, she means me. I'm right there. You see, in that instance, I'm right. Not in many others.
I see you have most of your sculptures in the front garden and your, oh, your rear garden. Oh, it looks beautiful out there. You like, um, Beppo's work?
Yes, very much so. Very much so.
Yeah, I'm with the kids on this one. Statues in the house would make me jump, I think. I mean, see Napoleon here. Look at him. Quite overpowering, isn't he? For such a minimal space. Have you noticed anything strange about it, Mr Sanford?
The Napoleon bus? No. No, not at all.
And no one has enquired about it?
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Chapter 8: What shocking revelation occurs at the end of the episode?
Put the hammer down right now. You can't have it. Have what, Beppo? Tell us what you are looking for. Tell us after you've put the hammer down, maybe. Move away! Ah! Jesus Christ! Sherlock, are you okay? He missed. It's okay. I want to miss again. I will stick this thing in you, mate. Just like you did to poor Mr Harker.
So do yourself a favour, put the hammer down and get on the ground. Fuck you! Get him, Sherlock! Sherlock, are you okay? Sherlock, I can't hold him. He's too... I don't want to do this. Leopold, I don't want to do this. Just stop. I don't want to stab you.
Stop. Leopold.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, look at me. I got you lower lateral quarter of your abdomen, okay?
I'm a doctor. I had to disable you. You were going to do further harm and get away. I can't have that, okay? See? Very little bleeding. Non-vascular.
Yeah, no organs. Just hold this with me. We're going to wait for the ambulance to get there. Right.
Sherlock, are we okay over there? Bit of a bump, but fine. Okay, you call the ambulance. I'll call Marianne.
Okay.
Hey, how's it going?
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