Chapter 1: What insights does Laura Dern share about her childhood in a Hollywood family?
Hey, gang. Jason Bateman here doing a cold open for SmartLess. I'm all by myself. I don't have the other two guys. So this is the horrifying look into what this podcast would be without Sean Hayes and Will Arnett. Just me talking gaps. No fun. No humor. Nothing interesting. Welcome to SmartLess.
SmartLess.
All right, so listener, we've got Will beaming in from Bozeman, Montana. We've got Sean P. Hayes there in downtown Hollywood. Oh, there it is. Scotty is applying chapstick onto Sean's lips because that's the role they like to play.
Chapter 2: How did Laura Dern prepare for her role in 'Is This Thing On?'
Wow. That just happened.
Yeah. Well, Jason threatened that he'd do it, and I made him do it.
Does Scotty ever call from the restroom? I'm done, Sean. Wipey. Okay.
No, no, no. Not in a while.
Willie, don't you miss the days? Don't you miss the days of wiping the bums and changing the diaper and the whole like shushing them to bed?
And then what about doing that to your kids?
Oh, Sean, you son of a gun. I do miss it.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Laura face while filming 'Jurassic Park'?
We just sort of, especially now that my little guy is five. He just seems like such a big boy now. You're still kind of doing it a little bit. Yeah, but he just seems like such a big boy now.
When is he six? When is his birthday?
In May. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. How about that?
Yeah.
Now, Sean, you know, we can cut this in. This is getting too personal.
Oh, we can cut this in. We can cut this into the middle of another episode and drop it in.
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Chapter 4: What memorable experiences did Laura Dern have working with David Lynch?
Have you and Scotty ever had a serious conversation about maybe adopting?
You know, it's funny you say that. Yes, but no, like I, it's unfortunate that now, right now at this age is the time I'm like, oh boy, I could really have a kid. I think it'd be really fun to be a dad. But unfortunately it's too, it feels like it's too late because of the energy that it requires and all that. Energy, yes.
And so I feel like my brain- That's what a staff is for, Sean. I can see you're so staffed up. Couldn't you, Will? Oh, yeah.
Like three night nurses, four nannies. Yeah, but then I would feel bad about the kid because the kid wouldn't, like, I'd have to take it to Disneyland. I'd be too tired.
Yeah, but you'd be like the old millionaire distant unavailable dad in the wheelchair barking orders.
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Chapter 5: How does Laura view the concept of 'nepo babies' in Hollywood?
Yeah, from the... No, but I mean, you know what I mean? Like my brain is there, but like I... My brain came too late. I think you'd be great no matter what.
Me too. Me too. I know what would happen is it would happen and you would be absolutely obsessed, Sean, in the best way possible.
Yeah, and 50 is the new 30.
Oh, no, what are you going to do? Your headphones are plugged in. You took your sweater off. I know.
I can't unplug the fucking. I took my sweater off over my headphones.
This is the guy who tries to take his sweater off in the car when he's driving. You know what, JB?
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Chapter 6: What does Laura Dern reveal about her acting process and emotional vulnerability?
I think it's better he didn't have a kid.
You know what I mean? I just saw that.
I need a parent. Can you imagine him trying to collapse a stroller? Oh, my God.
By the way... Trying to get it in the trunk. It would collapse me. Nothing tests your intellect more than trying to figure out how to collapse one of those strollers.
Or by putting in a car seat and trying to strap in the seat belt thing behind it and the anchors.
I'm still in the booster phase. I'm out of the full car seat, but I am still in the booster phase. And it is... I still do have... Sweaty moments. Yep.
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Chapter 7: What is Laura's perspective on the evolution of her career?
I'm trying to find the thing, the hook underneath, and I'm like, just one second, one second, and then I'm, oh, God.
But a lot of parents are really bad marketers at it because the second the baby goes crazy and is having a tantrum and it's in its arms, they look over their shoulder and they mouth to you. They go...
I know.
Do you know what I mean? And you're just like, well, now I don't want to because I just so witnessed that.
Yeah, but those are just the moments, you know? What was the line, Sean, that you used to always use? You'd say, like, I'd have kids.
I'd rather regret not having them than have them and regret it later.
Yeah, it's a great line. It should be on a greeting card. I mean, it's just, it's abstract, but it's great. Warming. Yeah.
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Chapter 8: What are Laura Dern's thoughts on the importance of emotional connections in storytelling?
I don't know.
Boy, listen, you got Ricky, you know?
Yeah, by the way.
And Ricky doesn't talk back. He just barks every once in a while.
Barely, but... I saw JB last... Sean, I haven't seen you in forever. I know. I haven't seen you in forever. Yeah, I saw Sweet Willie last night.
Oh, where? At this event. Some fancy dancey thing.
Oh, the governor's thing.
That's it.
I didn't know that was last night.
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