Chapter 1: What unusual animal interaction is discussed in this episode?
I'm Johnny Smith. I'm Richard Porter. And this is Smith & Smith, a podcast in which two friends talk about cars and many other things. I was watching a Guns N' Roses video the other day. First time in ages. Guns Off Of The Roses. And, God, they were good. It was non-stop smoking, though. But this particular music video was November Rain. You'll know the track, Rich. I know you will.
Yes, yes. Familiar.
The full-length version.
Chapter 2: Why is Slash considered the hidden headlights car of music?
And do you remember the bit where there's a church scene... Axl's getting married. And then Slash comes out of the church with chaps. He's actually wearing chaps to church, which really creeps me up. Because when you dissect all this stuff in music videos, you go, what? He went to his mate's wedding wearing leather chaps. And there's smoking in the church, which is highly disrespectful.
Yeah.
I mean, in fairness, if you're going to smoke anywhere, a church is probably not bad because all the incense and candles will, you know, it's a smoky environment anyway.
Well, it's got a very high ceiling, so it won't smell smoky.
And a high ceiling, yes.
Because the ceiling's 80 feet high.
There you go. So actually, a church is an excellent place to smoke if you're on slash.
But the reason why I'm telling you this, because obviously it has to be car-centric, because we're extremely car-centric on smoke. this podcast always the reason why I'm telling you this is because I realised that at no point in that music video did I ever see Slash's eyes
He's like one of the Muppets where you can't see their eyes. Yes. I'm trying to think which Muppet's eyes you can't see. There's a few of them.
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Chapter 3: What are the reasons some naturalists dislike wasps?
Because if he gets the munchies halfway through wanking the axe, he can just pick off a coin.
He just peels a chocolate coin off his hands. Maybe the whole hat's made of chocolate. No, it would melt, wouldn't it? And it would all go into his hair. And that's a nightmare because he's got thick, tangly hair.
It's a fondant. It's a fondant hat.
Oh, okay. Yeah? Structurally, how's it keeping its shape? Is there a wafer core? A biscuit? Could be a biscuit core. The thing is, though, Slash loves nothing more than standing on a cliff. I know. Absolutely spanking the plank. As in his guitar. And if he's got a patisserie hat on, he's at risk of bird attack, surely. That's no good. Oh, yeah. So I'm not sure.
He would get destroyed by cormorants. I'm kidding.
That was the working title for their last album for a while. No. Well, maybe he's got a chocolate hat. The hat is made of foodstuffs for emergencies.
But the reason why I wanted to bring this up in conversation, because there was a reason, is it reminds me that Slash is basically the human equivalent of a car with hidden headlights. You know, like I was looking at my Dodge Charger the other day with its headlamp doors and it's got a lot of presence but without eyes.
And as soon as you see the eyes of a Dodge Charger, the car looks actually much less tough.
Yes.
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Chapter 4: How does a listener justify their new car purchase?
He was born there, wasn't he? So he is slightly English. Yeah, I think he's... Is he half English? I think he's half English. I read the other day, for some reason, I can't remember where or why, but I did know his mum was a costume wardrobe dresser for David Bowie.
I'm here on Wikipedia... and slash, not his real name. His real name is- Saul, isn't it Saul? Saul Hudson, yeah. Saul Hudson was actually born in Hampstead in North London. He was raised in a small suburb of Stoke-on-Trent until the age of six when he moved to Los Angeles, the Stoke-on-Trent of California. And his mother, Ola J. Hudson, was a fashion designer and costumier.
His father, Anthony Hudson, was an English artist.
Well, there we go. So he is. He's half English. So born in Hampstead, which is probably where Bowie was... Where his mum was probably dressing Bowie or, I don't know, finding linen for Bowie to wear in his glamour, full glamour. Chiffon. A bit of chiffon. She would have been looking around for the most flammable of items for Bowie to wear.
It says they moved to LA when Slash was six and he was born in 1965. So they would have moved to LA in 1971. So I wonder if she... Clothed Bowie in his L.A. period when he was incredibly coked off his head and keeping all of his urine in bottles and things and living off yoghurt. Yeah.
Well, I mean, that would have been a nightmare because she basically had to buy like child sized clothing because he was so skinny.
Yeah.
But also he wants a lot of flammable stuff. Yeah. Even though he smoked almost constantly. He did at that point. This says that Slash's mum designed costumes for the Pointer Sisters, Diana Ross, Janet Jackson, David Bowie, John Lennon and Ringo Starr. Wow. She designed for Ringo Starr. That's brilliant. That's great. Diana Ross. Amazing. Again, quite floaty chiffonny, I'd say.
Yeah, I told you that fact. Did I tell you about that fact about Diana Ross? This is not car related because I think we've talked about Diana Ross's car taste before. I think she was into a Mercedes SL.
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Chapter 5: What strange graffiti is found in Birmingham?
So I concluded it by saying, when it comes down to it, we just love all animals except wasps.
LAUGHTER
And they went, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, no, they did. They came back to me and they went, we did have a bit of a debate about this in-house. We were just like, is it too much? But we agree. It's fine. It's actually good. We agree. So it went out in their promo materials and stuff and the rest of the pack that I helped them to write. And yeah, but they agreed.
And they were some very brainy people. That's great. So yeah, even naturalists think wasps are pricks.
Well, and they know better than we do ultimately, don't they?
Yeah, but then I think are hornets not even bigger pricks? They're like wasps max, aren't they?
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Chapter 6: What is the story behind the Suzuki X90?
Hornets are like drunk, footy hooligans. So I think when I say drunk, they're a little bit more clumsy, but there's more clout to them.
Because they're aggy, aren't they? They're looking for a fight.
Yeah, that's right.
They are a little bit... So I would say, yeah, they are. They're drunk hooligans. Now, not to lurch too hard to the left, but, of course, since we mentioned Mercedes SLs and Diana Ross, the other week I pretended to buy you a Mercedes SL from our sponsor, Car and Classic.
Yeah. And... Absolute car and catnip. They should rebrand. I've asked them to rebrand. It should be cars and catnip.
Yeah, fair enough. Yeah. It's my turn again to pretend to buy you something this week. Yes. You've got the SL. Yeah. That's yours. Thanks. So I've taken a little swerve this week to something that I think you'll like. Okay. But it's very much not like a Mercedes SL because... It is a 1982 Suzuki SC100 GX Whiz Kid.
Oh, yes, please.
Have a look at that.
Gosh, that looks absolutely exquisite. Example of the mark. And also black. Not many of them are in black. I don't think that's...
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Chapter 7: What mystery prototype was spotted in Bicester?
There's so many pictures. I'm just looking at... There's a picture of each individual inner wing with the wheel removed. That's nice detail. Nice detail.
It is the proverbial, you could eat your dinner off them.
Yes.
Gosh, that's lovely. That would be a logistical challenge, but if you really wanted to, you could. They are clean AF. Yeah. I just saw this and I thought... I sort of instinctively knew it was up your street because, you know, you had that little Honda S600 or 800.
I had a S600, yeah, coupe, which I do miss, even though I couldn't quite fit in it. But I think I'd fit in this. And this is obviously a younger car. These were launched the year I was born. So maybe it was meant to be. Oh, well, there you go.
It's got these alloys on it, which I remember the same style of alloy being fitted to Skoda Rapids.
Yes.
And possibly the saloons as well. Yeah, they were. In the UK. I don't know who makes them, but the ad says that the wheels on this Suzuki are a dealer-fit accessory. So, again, they're absolutely period and correct.
Yep.
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Chapter 8: What happened at airport security involving an Enya calendar?
And then when did the SJ come in? I don't know. 80? Might have been the same sort of time. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, that's really nice. And four, yeah, four-cylinder. Nearly 50 horsepower. Goodness, that's more than I was expecting.
I can sort of hear that car just by looking at it. It's going to be revvy, isn't it? And sort of buzzy in that brilliant small Japanese engine sort of way.
There's been a barn find one of these that I have been on the... the jet trail of for four years. And it's the chap, the chap contacted me who lives next door to the widow who owns it. And he's been, he's warmed her up to a point where she opened the garage and let him take a photo and send it to me. And then she goes cold on the idea.
And then she, and then he has to chat to her again for about half a year. And then she comes around to it and trusts his judgment and And then I get excited because he says, oh, I think we're getting close. And then it goes cold again. And then she says, oh, she's just not sure. I am still waiting to do it. And I can't wait. can't wait.
But maybe I don't need to wait because this one on Carlin Classic is absolutely exquisite. Wow. What's she hanging onto it for? I think it's because it was her late husband's and it's not done many miles and it's one of those ones where it's been it was always tucked away in the garage. She lives up north and it's escaped all of the horrible winter salt and stuff.
So I think it could be a worshipped example but it hasn't been on the road in a long time. I don't think it's black. So hang on, this is an auction or a classified?
This is a classified. So yeah, it's on Car and Classic right now, unless it's sold between us recording it going out. But yeah, I think this is proper kind of... And for the right person, this would be a delightful purchase. This is great. As the rules of this game, I'm not actually buying it for you. But, yeah, it's mega, isn't it? Yeah. Very good.
You know who used to love these was the revered car journalist LJK Setwright.
Oh, really?
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