Chapter 1: What themes are introduced by Nico Carney in this episode?
wave i read this book called um transgender warriors by leslie feinberg that's like a history of trans people through space and time i'm trans i'm not a fetishy guy or something um no he says don't listen to him caleb wanted to get a really fetishy guy on the podcast to talk about trans people i said nico you can come on but you have to talk about your trans fetish
Today's episode is sponsored by Domino's. Thank you, Nicole. Let's start the episode with a thank you to Nicole. Thank you, Nicole. Nico, how's it going, dude? Hey, what's going on?
Thanks for having me. I'm good. I'm excited to be here. I'm enjoying the So True Studio, enjoying our time.
We're talking about the So True Studio.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, we're getting into it.
I hear that there's a different thing every week, so I gotta... There's a different thing every week. I gotta tap in. God damn it. No, we're gonna fix it. We're gonna stay on the set this time.
Yeah. What's been going on with you? Tell me everything. Damn, I've just been enjoying the spring weather, trying to, you know, get outside, trying to hang out with people, trying to just like, I don't know. I'm trying to live in the moment while also not feeling so much the collapse of the universe all at once. And the collapse of at least society is seemingly upon us.
Yes, impending doom, all that stuff. But I'm trying to just, you know, take it day by day and enjoy my life and make other people's lives better, hopefully.
You, I mean, my perception of you, I know that perception is not always reality, but my perception of you from the times that we've been around each other and from what I see of you, I feel like you're really hanging out. I feel like you're seeing people. Like, I feel like you are seeing people.
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Chapter 2: How does Nico describe his experience with community engagement?
So we've been going to some bars to play pool, and we got really good. And then we did a tournament at the Johnsons in Bushwick on Tuesday. And it was like... I mean, it's such a, like, I've come into so many bars over the last five years, you know, to do stand-up open mics or whatever, bar shows and stuff, and I don't feel, like, uncomfortable walking into these spaces. It's, like, whatever.
Like, my anxiety for that is, like, is kind of gone now, but then I walked into this pool tournament to, like, sign up, and I was like, oh, no, what if I'm bad? Like, what if everybody's really good? And what if I'm bad? What if I make a fool of myself in front of all these, like, straight guys that have gloves on?
Not gloves. Gloves. Not gloves. Not putting their own pool stick together. Are you putting your own pool stick together? No, I'm not. Thank God.
No, but there's guys that are coming in and putting their pool sticks together, and, like, they got the gloves on. One guy just had just the fingers.
Just the fingers. That's, unfortunately, pretty fucking sick.
Unfortunately, I find that pretty fucking sick. Well, I turned to Jesse and I was like, I feel like that's like an undiscovered, like, lesbian sex toy. Like, just have it excrete, like, some lube. That's like so, come on, you guys. Somebody get on it.
Two fingers, two fingers, two fingers gloved. Two fingers gloved. Just walking around with it.
That's pretty chic. You see it, the girl, she's at the club, she's got two fingers gloved, you know what's up. You know what's up.
You can get those fingers if you need them. Yeah. She's down. She's community finger. She's community finger. She comes with her own lube. It's good. It's good. That's so fucking funny, dude. I am bad at pool, and I feel... There's this pool bar that I love in Kin City called Chartreuse Saloon. Shout out Chartreuse. Love you guys. I will go in there sometimes just to fuck around with my friends.
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Chapter 3: What insights does Nico share about navigating anxiety in social situations?
And it was so crazy because I was like in the middle of Missouri. And I was like, and I had never been before. I'm like an hour from Kansas City. It's like a one-stop town kind of place. And it was like, it was the Hampton Inn I was staying at and then the Walmart next door. And then the college was somewhere as a way.
And so I like was like, I guess I'll just go to Walmart to get like my food for dinner because I like didn't want whatever other thing was around. And so I went into this Walmart and everybody was staring at me. And I was just like, I was feeling so like, oh, am I like being clocked? Like what's happening? Like people, they know whatever. And I was like, they probably have never seen a stranger.
They haven't seen a stranger in this Walmart in a long time. So they're all like, who is this guy? Like what's going on?
You don't live there.
Yeah, no, totally. And then I was like, oh, OK, I'm safe. I'm just dumb. I'm just walked into this town and nobody knows who I am. Yeah.
Truly. It's still like that over there. It's, and it's hard to tell. Yeah. It's like, are they also transphobic? Probably.
Do they know what a trans person likes? Absolutely not.
Absolutely not. They're like, look at that young man. Yeah. What is he doing here? We don't know him.
Yeah. Everybody here is blonde.
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Chapter 4: Why should we invest in diverse audiences?
Why would you appeal to cis straight men? Like they don't buy tickets for themselves. They don't. have a lot of friends. They don't go do group activities. Like, invest in audiences that are going to invest in you.
They're embarrassed of earnestness.
Like, go, like, I'm like, yeah, I like that girls come to my show because they bring eight friends.
Yeah.
That's eight more tickets that I wasn't going to, you know what I mean? It's like, why would you invest in a bunch of guys that are going to be single ticket buyers and sit by themselves? Like, that's crazy. You're bad at business.
You need to be nicer to girls. You're out of business.
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Chapter 5: How do comedians win over reluctant audience members?
Yeah, seriously. One of my favorite things, and I sometimes wonder what this says about me that I love this so much. I think it's just that I like to win people over. But one of my favorite things is I'll go out on stage, if I'm headlining, and I can see immediately the guys who are only there because their girlfriend made them come, and they are not thrilled to be there. Mm-hmm.
And my favorite thing is to win them over. And I'll get them. I'm like, I can get you. You're going to try to stonewall me, but I'm going to get you.
Yeah.
And I love that.
Can I, okay, I have thoughts and questions on this. So do you feel like, okay, because I have this thing too where I find like I get,
get so nervous about like the like the straight guys i like ahead of time and i feel like i want their validation and this like this like deep-seated thing in me do you feel like you ever fight that about that or just like hey fuck this i don't care if these guys like this or not or do you feel like you're like oh i want to win them over because i because i know they don't like it and everybody else here likes does i don't know if it makes total sense i've i've spent a lot of time thinking about this thinking about do i want to win them over because they're the straight guys right right
that whose approval I wanted when I was 12.
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Chapter 6: What are the implications of community engagement in comedy?
Is that what's going on here? Is this about my dad? You know, basically. What is this? And I spend a lot of time thinking about it, and I genuinely think that it's just that I want to get the hardest person in the room. I want the person who wants to laugh at me the least is who I want to win over. It happens to be those guys, but I mean, it would mean just as much to me.
It's just not as easy to spot. It would mean just as much to me if it was like, There are plenty of hardcore, tender, queer leftists that don't love me all the time. They think I'm annoying. They think I go too far. They think I say things I shouldn't say. They're a different kind of opposition to me than straight guys.
Straight guys just think I'm like... They don't think of me at all, or they think I'm... I don't know. They just can't imagine that I'm someone they would think is funny. I would want to win either of them over. In the room. out in the world or on the internet, I don't, you can't play the same game because it's people, it's manufactured outrage in order to get clicks and attention.
They, there are some people that are not going to like you just because it's the unpopular thing to do and it'll get interest in the real world, in the room. It's different because funny is funny. Yeah. And I don't know. So I, I really, I think that it's that, but also like, sure. Maybe, maybe part of it's that I just want these guys to like me.
Cause I have that same thing where I'm on stage and I'll, I'll be like scanning the room and then there's like one dude who's like towards the front or who's like kind of, I'm trust doesn't care. And I'm like, okay. I want this guy. I want to get this guy. Like I want, I keep looking at him.
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Chapter 7: How does personal experience shape our views on existence?
I want him to laugh. And I'm like, Oh, this next one may be able to get you. And they're like, whatever. And it's like, there's so many people who haven't been having a great time enjoying themselves. Came to see me wanting to like, I should give them my attention. Not get, but it's like, I can't stop. That's the illness. It's like, I got it. It's like,
Everybody in this room doesn't think I'm funny. I'm a fucking failure, you know?
And it's like, what is that? Well, this is the whole thing about what we do. It's so sick. It's so sick. The whole reason we're up there is because we need, who needs a room full of people to show up and spend the night of their life laughing at you? Like, that's insane. It's like, I came up with these little thoughts I thought you'd like. What do you guys think? Yeah. Isn't this true?
Mostly about me, but...
Sorry, this is mostly about me. So this is kind of my life story. I hope you guys were cool to spend $40 to hear that.
It applies to you guys in some ways. Yeah, no, it's insane. It's a completely insane endeavor, and I definitely want... But we actually had a whole joke on our last tour where we did a shout. We did basically a moment of silence for the straight men that had to come with their girlfriends, and it was so much fun. They loved it. I mean, they were like... Well, they love to be talked about.
They love to be talked about.
They love to be addressed. They love to be addressed in a gay space, I find.
They love to be addressed in a gay space, and it also gives them permission to, these guys will come in, well, they're so, I mean, look, I don't want to be too mean, but they're so insecure and scared, and I get it, and it's, in some ways, their fault because they perpetuate it, and in other ways, it's just, like, what we do to men in this society. Yeah.
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