Social Skills Coaching
Episodes
A Skeptic’s View
28 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
One methodical way to seek truth and simulate curiosity is by embracing skepticism. No, it’s not about being cynical or simply refusing to believe w...
How To Own Your Emotions
25 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• The purpose of all communication, whether we know it or not, is to meet our needs. We can become better communicators (and improve our relatio...
Defense Of The Ego Is A Nasty Habit
21 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Loss, rejection, uncertainty, discomfort, humiliation, loneliness, failure, panic . . . all of these can be defended against using certain mental tric...
Curious As A Cat
18 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The first and most natural way to probe below the surface is through cultivating curiosity. There are five types of curiosity, each of which can be a ...
Defense Of The Ego
14 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Finally, we come to defense of the ego. This is one of our most powerful motivators, but it is mostly unconscious. Simply put, we act to guard our ego...
Acts Of The Amorous Nature
11 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• At this point in the book, you may have a better understanding of how to reach your goal of mating. However, in reality, your goal is sustaine...
Battle Social Influence
08 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The last way we must struggle to keep an open mind and clarity of thought is concerning our social influences. The people around us can determine what...
The Pyramid Of Needs
06 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Next, we move to the pyramid of needs, otherwise known as Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It states that we are all seeking various types of ne...
Selflessness Is Sexy
04 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperative...
Listening And Nonviolent Communication
01 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The four principles of Marshall Rosenberg’s non-violent communication are: observations, feelings, needs, and requests, in that order. First make ne...
Our Inner Child Still Lives
30 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Any discussion on motivation must begin with the pleasure principle, which generally states that we move toward pleasure and move away from pain. If y...
Triggers For Attraction And Arousal
28 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Despite our own internal confusions, there are certain scientifically proven traits we do seek in mates that are more related to biological imperative...
Question Yourself. Question Others.
25 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Immersing yourself in someone else’s equally valid reality is harder than it looks, and so we need to routinely test our own assumptions. We need to...
It’s Okay To Be Uncertain
23 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Confirmation bias is also the most prominent way that we fail to simply follow the evidence. If we perform research and keep an open mind, our task is...
Why Bother To Understand People At All?
21 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We’ve talked about analyzing and predicting behavior based on people’s emotions and values, but what about motivation? It turns out there are a fe...
The Problem Of Objectivity
18 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Finally, we become great people-readers when we understand ourselves. We need to know what biases, expectations, values, and unconscious drives we bri...
Confirmation Bias Is Seeing What You Want To Prove A Pre-Chosen Conclusion
16 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The most glaring example of this is confirmation bias, wherein we are deaf and blind to evidence that doesn’t support what we think. In other words,...
Signs That Your Listening Could Use Some Work
14 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It’s important to avoid using language that triggers defensiveness. This includes things like “what’s wrong with you?” “I’m sorry you feel...
How To Know What You Want (You Don’t)
11 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We often think we know what we want based on singular experiences, stereotypes, or simple social pressures. But we are typically very, very wrong. In ...
Obstacles To Becoming Brilliant At Reading People
09 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to conv...
Why Are People So Closed-Minded?
07 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
An integral part of crystal-clear thinking is to be open-minded. Being open-minded means hearing evidence or an argument and not making an instant jud...
Active Listening Is Hard. It Takes Effort.
04 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Active listening techniques help us to absorb, understand, remember, and respond to what we’re told. This includes non-judgment, reflection, paying ...
Love May Be Less Important Than How Similar You Are To Your Mate
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A study specified the traits that predicted the most relationship success if similar: agreeableness and emotional stability. Conventional wisdom says ...
Reading And Analyzing People
28 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Most of the communication that takes place between people is non-verbal in nature. What people say is often a poor indicator of what they want to conv...
What To Say And How To Say It
25 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In the Imago framework, we seek to remove emotional barriers to connection by communicating. The Sender and the Receiver takes turns sharing their mes...
Work To Improve Your Perception
23 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps a...
When You Say You’re In Love With Someone, What Do You Mean?
21 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The triangular theory of love states that the most successful relationships score well on all three metrics: attraction, intimacy, and commitment. Hap...
Listening Well Means Putting Your Own Needs And Perspectives On The Back Burner
18 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Practice conversational patience, listen to others, and give them the space to be as they are. In other words, cut out the ego! You can validate othe...
Perception Is Biased
16 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your perception is biased. Understanding the world around you is probably biased because of how the brain jumps to conclusions. These types of jumps a...
Love Is All That Matters . . .
14 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Love is what most of us marry for, but arranged marriages have been around for a very long time. In fact, what most of us would consider romantic love...
Humility: The Rarest Virtue
11 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Humility is the virtue that will allow you to quickly and sincerely own up to mistakes. This takes courage and maturity. Make sure any apologies show ...
Perspective Isn’t Reality
09 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Your perspective isn’t reality. It represents your subjective and unique worldview, but it’s not objective, it’s not reality, and it is destined...
A Word On First Impressions—And Walking The Walk
07 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• Dr. Jack Schafer’s friendship formula states that people build connections when they are in proximity to one another, when their interactions...
Stay Curious
04 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
With curiosity, we stay open-minded and humble, and approach others in a spirit of opportunity, respect, and the desire to learn. Express genuine inte...
Freedom From Illusions Of Reality
02 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• Usually, your brain, instincts, gut feelings, emotions, and hunches are all liars (usually). They aren’t doing it on purpose, but they inher...
All About Flirting
31 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
the art of getting the attention of the opposite sexHear it Here - https://bit.ly/ScienceOfAttractionShow notes and/or episode transcripts are availab...
But What About Empathy?
28 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• Empathy is the ability to understand and feel into someone else’s experience, as well as take action to help them. There are three types—c...
What Independent Thinking Actually Looks Like
26 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Many famous independent thinkers throughout history shed light on how we might develop the capacity in ourselves. Socrates teaches us the power of ask...
The Deeper The Love, The Deeper The Hate
24 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Finally, the deeper the love, the deeper the hate. Love and hate are closer than you think because they are both intense emotions. Work with love and ...
The Gentle Power Of Assertiveness
21 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Better communication skills stem from a healthy mindset and a good attitude toward relationships in general. We can practice and communicate self-diff...
Independent Is Not The Same As Contrarian
19 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The fundamentals of critical thought include learning to take in information (especially reading) critically, dropping the ego so that you don’t get...
Humans Want What We Can’t Have
17 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us have been faced with being rejected and told that we are only thought of as friends and not romantic partners. Is there a way to deal with ...
Separate Out Your Thoughts From Your Feelings
14 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Finally, master self-differentiation and be crystal clear on thoughts versus feelings, and your thoughts and feelings versus those of others. Defuse c...
What Does It Really Mean To Be An Independent Thinker?
12 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
• Independent thinkers can think logically, clearly and autonomously, outside the pressures of their cultures, upbringings, past experiences or hist...
Address The Higher Self, Acknowledge The Emotional Self
10 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In every interaction, consciously choose to address the other persons highest self, or at least their most vulnerable and human self. Acknowledge emot...
The “Chase”
07 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The chase is something we subconsciously do, despite outwardly decrying having to play dating games.Mostly, the chase has to do with the appeal and ad...
Why Breaking The Rules Can Be Attractive
05 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Breaking rules can be attractive since it conveys confidence and power and communicates that you act from your own internal integrity, which is sexy! ...
Telling The Third Story
03 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In conflict, try to imagine a neutral observer and the “third story” theyd tell so you can identify a set of facts about the situation that both p...