Expert Psychologist: The Hidden Trap Holding You Back - Dr. Diana Hill - #527
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What is the hidden trap that causes overwhelm and how does it affect daily life?
Diana, welcome to the
show. I'm glad to be here.
Yes, me as well. So my first and most important question, really important. How are you doing? Like actually, like for real, tell me please how you're doing.
Uh I think the text that I wrote, I can pull it up. My most recent text to my husband this morning. was I'm done. There's it's too much for any human to do. Um uh I'm out. That was while running up a hill. And so we have to put it into context that I was running and I tend to get a little bit emotional while I'm also physically active. But it was uh that was my six AM. Today at nine, I'm feeling a little bit more put together. I got back from my run, I got My coffee, I'm excited to talk with you. And uh that is the wave of the human experience, right? Feeling overwhelmed and then feeling grounded and then feeling overwhelmed again and then how do we move through that?
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Thanks for supporting what we do. Now, let's get into the episode: completely uninterrupted and ad-free. Yeah. Yeah, that's very interesting. I mean, I I feel the same way kind of all the time. It's just a constant state of overwhelm, but like I feel like I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, but then I'm not doing enough of it, but maybe I should do less of it. And then I mean, you're an experienced parent at this point. And so like as an early dad, I'm like, should I work more to provide more or should I work less to be there more? Will they remember these times? Will I remember these times? What's more important now? Oh my My God, my fucking heartstrings are being pulled in 75 different directions.
And I feel like that feeling probably never, ever, ever goes away. Cause in my brain, I'm like optimizing my business now so that when my kid goes to school, I can like drop him off and pick him up. And he just assumes like dad doesn't work. Like that's what I want him to think. And then when we go to sports games or whatever the fuck he does, it'll be sports, that I can take him there. But right now I'm I feel like I'm sacrificing a little bit of like bath time or, you know. This or whatever because I'm I think in my head that I need to work more and maybe that's an issue I need to sort out, but I don't know. There's no question there, but you know, what do you think? What do you think? What's going through your brain?
What's going through your brain?
So uh we spend a lot of time trying to optimize our time and it's less of that question, I think, for me these days, and more of a question, what am I doing with the time that I'm in? So in that example of like texting my husband, this sort of like aggressive. uh text, in that moment, I'm engaging in a way that I don't want to be engaging. I'm sending bad energy to him. I'm putting it all on him to fix. Uh, and it's not really providing the connection that would help me get through an overwhelming day. So when we think about time management, we're often thinking about it in these like uh sort of dualistic ways. We're thinking about it's like this period of time, am I am I, am I putting, you know, should I be picking up my kid from school or not picking up my kid from school?
And it's much more about like when you actually physically pick up your kid, are you in your head or are you with your kid? And that's what the kid remembers.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the hidden trap that causes overwhelm and how does it affect daily life?
0:00–8:46
2
How can we recognize and respond to the feeling of overwhelm in the moment?
8:46–18:54
3
What does Dr. Diana Hill’s personal journey teach us about the roots of anxiety and drive?
18:54–27:57
4
How do the three core motivational drives (threat, attachment, intrinsic) shape our behavior?
27:57–35:08
5
What steps can we take to become disenchanted with unfulfilling habits and align with our values?
35:08–44:34
6
How can the “regret” exercise reveal our true values and guide better choices?
44:34–52:17
7
What is psychological flexibility and how does it improve performance in sports and leadership?
52:17–55:37
8
What is “wise effort” and how can we apply it to everyday decisions and long‑term goals?
55:37–59:55
Speakers
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