S26 Ep6: Friendship, Attachment, and Betrayal with Dr. Marisa G. Franco
episodePreviously titled “S26 Ep6: Friendship, Attachment, and Betrayal with Dr. Marisa G. Franco, PhD” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 5, 2026
Transcript
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Kun mietin tulevaa, ajattelen minulle tärkeitä ihmisiä ja sitä, mitä haluan tarjota heille. Nordea Private Bankingissä oma sijoitusjohtajani auttaa tekemään päätöksiä, jotka kestävät aikaa. Näin perheeni pysyy askeleen edellä.
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Thank you so much. Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences and includes topics that may be upsetting. This season, we'll be discussing friendship betrayal, religious abuse, stalking, sexual assault, and other serious topics. So please listen with care. Some names have been changed for safety or anonymity purposes. The podcast and any linked materials should not be misconstrued as a substitution for legal or medical advice. Sources and resources can be found in the episode notes. Thank you so much for listening.
Thank you.
I am honored today to be joined by Dr. Marissa G. Franco, who is an enlightening psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author. Dr. Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at the University of Maryland and author of the New York Times bestseller, Platonic. how the science of attachment can help you make and keep friends and worth. The new science of self-esteem and secure attachment. She writes about friendship for psychology today, and she has been a featured connection expert for major publications like the New York Times, the Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging and self-worth at corporations, government agencies, nonprofits, and universities.
Thank you so much for joining us, Dr. Franco. It's a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. As I said before we began, I have been diving into your book and it is incredible. I've already learned so much about myself and the ways that I think about friendship. I'd love to hear from you your path to friendship science and what led you to get into this work. Yeah. So in my young 20s, I had friends, but I didn't necessarily value them as much as I do now. Then I went through this breakup. So I approached my friend Heather and I was like, oh, do you want to start this wellness group? We can meet up and meditate and cook and do yoga with a group of friends. And looking back, I took the breakup so bad because I thought romantic love was the only love that made me worthy, is the only love that could truly complete me.
But meeting up with these friends every week showed me just how powerful a force platonic love was and made me really rethink some of those assumptions and question why didn't this form of love matter or count? And I felt like my reactions, my thoughts, my interpretations were really reflecting a larger culture and zeitgeist wherein we create this hierarchy of love. And I wanted to be part of leveling that hierarchy. So that's why I wrote Platonic on the science of making and keeping friends. Do you feel like the research you've done has helped yourself to become a better friend and have a clearer understanding about your relationships as well? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, before I wrote Platonic, it was all a mystery to me.
I felt like there was some magic that happened. People just sort of chose you. It didn't feel like something you can be intentional about doing. Either you had friends or you don't. But since writing Platonic, I'm like, okay, you have power over whether you have friends or not. You can influence this outcome. There are certain things that you can do to make it much more likely that you have friends. And I think I was just really afraid of liking people too much or showing interest in people too much. I thought friendships just happen. And I talk about how in platonic, that belief is actually related to being lonelier over time. If you think friendship happens organically because you don't make the effort.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:07–10:54
2
How did Dr. Marisa Franco get interested in the science of friendship?
10:54–32:31
3
What is attachment theory and how does it shape our friendships?
32:31–54:36
4
Can people change insecure attachment from traumatic or neglectful childhoods?
54:36–56:31