Watch the latest episode of Stab in the Dark X starring Kelly Slater here https://stabmag.com/stabcinema/watch-... Any genuinely endearing conversation might hinge on seating Dane Reynolds next to someone improbable and letting the room do the work. Last week: the reigning world champ. This week: Kelly Slater, calling in from New Zealand. Four months post hip replacement, the greatest surfer of all time admits he can barely lift his knee into a car some days, but he insists the robo-hip already outperforms the real one, which had been dragging him through agony for the last four years. He’d been surfing through pain the whole time. Laird Hamilton personally rang to convince him to get on the operating table. A wellness check, from one absurdly fit old-boy to another. He also reveals that during Stab In The Dark X, his back seized up for four days straight. Bedridden and unable to walk without looking like a pretzel. But you can’t keep a good goat down. He still paddled out, still tested six nearly identical boards, all while wrangling Snapper crowds and soft Gold Coast walls. Remarkably, Kelly admits to not having watched a single episode of SITD X. Not one. Just the Instagram clips. That’s it. Is this the surf equivalent of Johnny Depp claiming he’s never seen one of his own movies? Similar star power, frankly. On the topic of SITD, Kel talks candidly about the awkwardness of judging shapers while owning a board company himself, and why he never publicly burned a design, even when it deserved it. More interesting is his philosophy: shapers shouldn’t try to guess what Kelly wants. He wants what they actually make, otherwise it’s just pasteurised performance foam. From there, the gents get into lineup politics, snowboarding double blacks, and the simple economic reality that waves are limited, egos are not, hence grown men hissing over them. The ISA’s new Olympic qualifying system gets a light public flogging. And yes, Kelly is a believer in the machine. Put Olympic surfing in a wave pool. Standardise it, industrialise it, flip the switch and hear the system roar.

Ask this episode

“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

Transcript

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