Stargatezing
Episodes
Richard Dean Fandersons [TS S17E17]
08 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Springfield hosts a Stargate Convention, Patty and Selma try their hand at kidnapping, and Richard Dean Anderson cosplays as MacGyver. Some other stu...
A Very Special Episode [MG S5E13]
01 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
When one of the hosts needs some time off, we MacGyver a solution.
Froot Looping [SG1 S4E6]
25 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Today we learn juggling, golfing, pottery throwing, Latin, and astrophysics, with a smattering of nutritional guidance and first aid info. It's a very...
D'oh!!! [SG1 S4E5]
18 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The team should have no problems with allergies given the amount of Zyrtec circulating around the base. Freya, Anise, and Martooth remind us the Tok’...
Convertible Human Body [SG1 S4E4]
11 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Hagfish will be hagfish and you're not fooling anybody, Hebron.
The Worst Spice [SG1 S4E3]
04 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The team eats steak and blows stuff up. It was a good day.
Oops, All N4zis [SG1 S4E2]
27 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when Hammond and the team decide to randomly trust strangers they just met in hopes they'll get something in return? The results...will n...
My Favorite Person in All Galaxies Everywhere [SG1 S4E1]
20 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sam comes up with an idea to save the Asgard that's just dumb enough to work. Meanwhile SG 3/4's idea to stop the replicators is also dumb. Too dumb...
Pieces of Swamp Gas [SG1 S3E22]
13 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
So many bugs. Just, all the bugs everywhere. Also, everything reminds Kathy and Mary of some other random things. And it turns out the Stargate isn’...
The Daniel That Nobody Can See [SG1 S3E21]
06 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The team pretends to run around in a giant pyramid. Muons, neutrinos, and sparkles fly around all over the place. Daniel learns that, like a solar e...
The Monk and the Daniel [SG1 S3E20]
30 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
The team sits around waiting while Daniel endeavors to learn how to set sand on fire with his mind. A life skill everyone should have.
Nyan Cat [SG1 S3E19]
23 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
SG-1 is imprisoned by Canadian Bruce Campbell who thinks they're obstetricians. Teal'c goes blind but he gets better!
The Cheese Stands Alone [SG1 S3E18]
16 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jack switches sides and joins up with Maybourne. It's very convincing. Very...convincing...
By all accounts it doesn't make sense [SG1 S3E17]
09 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
A planet is deluged with meteorites. All life is decimated. The End. Or at least that's how Science says it should have ended.
Me. Me me. Me me Me me [SG1 S3E16]
02 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jack and Mary love pie. Sam and Kathy are anti-pie. Dom DeLuise is pizza. Teal'c loves coffee more than anyone. It's a tasty episode.
Epic Smug with a Dash of Scorn [SG1 S3E15]
23 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Schrodinger pays a visit! Jack and Daniel need to argue the measure of a hagfish-host. Teal'c decides to follow Jack's lead and start disobeying ord...
A Lot of Butt Stuff [SG1 S3E14]
16 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Sam and Teal'c save Earth by shooting their coworkers while the rest of the SGC sleeps on the job. Meanwhile, Kathy and Mary discover there may actua...
The Gleaming Teeth of Sadness [SG1 S3E13]
09 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Apophis is back to his old tricks—threatening people and making them miserable. Just like cats, SG3/4 doesn’t want to take their medicine. It’s ...
Outtakes [SG1 S3(part 1)]
07 Feb 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We admit we go on a lot of tangents, but sometimes we go on so many we can't even include them all in the episode. Also sometimes we just forget how ...
Shocked! Shocked!! Well, not that shocked. [SG1 S3E12]
31 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Martooth sonic screwdrives Sam’s head so they can escape the prison they broke into. Daniel talks to friends on his little communication device. Jac...
Youthenesia [SG1 S3E11]
24 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Daniel is ready to jump into the dating pool again but his taste in woman is…questionable. It’s ok though. The rest of the team is there to judge ...
Surprise Wife! [SG1 S3E10]
17 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Daniel gets a pass for his bad behavior for once, Sha're loses her accent, and Kathy and Mary have some major issues saying names.
Kyle America [SG1 S3E9]
10 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jack gets dressed down by a captain and is called an underlining by Master Teal’c. Hammond is a lord. Rank means nothing anymore.
Off World Puppy! [SG1 S3E8]
03 Jan 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Jack chews some dirty ground straw. Daniel mumbles. Teal'c does not weigh the same as a duck. Sam's there, too...
A Tok'ra to Read Me Bedtime Stories [SG1 S3E7]
27 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Aris Boch learns that maybe the real roshna is the friends we made along the way.
A Visit From St. Hagfish
24 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Happy Holidays!
Awkward [SG1 S3E6]
20 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Science, blah blah blah, goatees, blah dee blah, Kawalsky!
Gigglebytes [SG1 S3E5]
13 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a good thing our education system doesn’t work like this or else Mary wouldn’t have a job.
*insert Teal'c laugh here* [SG1 S3E4]
06 Dec 2021
Contributed by Lukas
When you see zombies, think aliens, not schizophrenia.
Chekhov's Sparkle Bling [SG1 S3E3]
29 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Negotiations! The Goa'uld demand cookies in exchange for not destroying Earth.
Don't Cross the Streams [SG1 S3E2]
22 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team finds a new gym to work out at and then, after a good workout, they join a cult. Except for Teal’c who decides to drive around in a tank fo...
Yeeehaaaawww [SG1 S3E1]
15 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Jack gets a hagfish. Hammond has an adventure. Teal'c makes a speech. Sam blows up some stuff. Daniel gets an owie.
Negative Podcast of Grumpiness [SG1 S2E22]
08 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mary and Kathy try to put aside their bad moods to talk about Stargate, only to discover it's a CLIP SHOW. AAAAHHHH!!!!
Nice [SG1 S2E21]
01 Nov 2021
Contributed by Lukas
James T. Kirk a.k.a. Luke Skywalker and the team get some groovy threads, meet young Hammond, and hang out with the Electric Mayhem.
Yub Nub [SG1 S2E20]
25 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Mary and Kathy are on vacation, so this is as clever as we can manage to get with the episode description. This message brought to you by beer and ha...
Plants Are the Ultimate Friend {SG1 S2E19]
18 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team tries to see how many miles they can walk in a day, Daniel pretends he’s an airplane, and Kathy and Mary want more nudity.
Holy Buckets [SG1 S2E18]
11 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Apophis is older than he's ever been And now he's even older And now he's even older And now he's even older. He's older than he's ever been And now h...
Not a Porno [SG1 S2E17]
04 Oct 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team plays musical chairs with their bodies, some rando hates on the beloved Dr. Fraiser, and Mary and Kathy fan-girl out over Christopher Judge.
No Boner Content [SG1 S2E16]
27 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Fun science with Mary! Sam plays with her food. Teal'c takes us to the gun show. Jack reconnects with an old friend. Everyone dies several times.
Fun with Dr. Kenneth Feder!
20 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We talk archaeology, sci-fi, and ancient aliens with our favorite college prof!
Duck Feet WooOOOooo [SG1 S2E15]
20 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We've lost the fallatus to write episode descriptions. Cruvus.
The Gate in the Crate [SG1 S2E14]
13 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Abandy Hammy alone and sad, sends the team out but they get so mad. Teal’c's within his rights to dismember you. To save the Gate in the Crate, Ja...
CAAAAAAAWWWWWW [SG1 S2E13]
06 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The FRIENDS of the Salish punish the SGC for their deception. Daniel makes peace and everyone is FRIENDS in the end.
Holy Hannah [SG1 S2E12]
30 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team is still stuck in Tokra'ville where crime is running rampant. There's a traitor in their midst, the Tok'ra are struggling with their illicit...
Fun Facts with Teal'c [SG1 S2E11]
23 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team takes a trip to Tok'raville, where people don't wear pants and want to get inside their heads, literally. Meanwhile, on Earth, Kathy and Ma...
Just...Eww [SG1 S2E10]
16 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
No, really. Eww.
Bébé [SG1 S2E9]
09 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sha're has a baby! Daniel has a wife back! Sam has a dad! Dad has cancer! A reporter has SG-1's secrets! Jack has a beer!
Schrodinger's Kathy [SG1 S2E8]
02 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
SG-1 takes a trip to Froyo World!
Undomesticated Equines [SG1 S2E7]
26 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team once again brings an infection of some sort back home through the gate. It goes about as well as any of the other times they have done this....
Time for more woods walking[SG1 S2E6]
19 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It turns out actions have consequences. Who knew?
Jolinar Residue [SG1 S2E5]
12 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We had a nice time. Carter picked up some naquadah, Teal'c made friends, Daniel got engaged, and Jack is going to go take a shower.
The Barcleeper [SG1 S2E4]
05 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Adventures on the holodeck never end well. Even if the show you're watching isn't Star Trek.
Feet Shoes [SG1 S2E3]
28 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The team unknowingly tries to help a murderer. People accidentally lose their feet. Daniel fails upward into becoming the head prisoner. And these a...
G'am [SG1 S2E2]
21 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sam gets a new friend. Teal’c and Jack have concerns but Daniel is too busy being rude to hospital patients to worry.
Major Assface [SG1 S2E1]
14 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Do you like ring noises? We got ring noises! Also, we've got Apophis on his A game with SG1, Hammond, and a surprise friend ready to kick some ass. ...
The Podcast Where Everyone Compliments Mary [SG1 S1E22]
31 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Sneak sneak sneak…surprise trip through the gate! Sneak sneak sneak…surprise Skara! Sneak sneak sneak…surprise we’re on a ship! Sneak sneak s...
Everything is the Worst [SG1 S1E21]
17 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Politicians muck things up at the SGC. What a surprise. Kathy and Mary debate what their next podcast should be if the "line item known as Area 52" ...
Stargate Aardvark [SG1 S1E20]
03 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In a world...where billions have been slaughtered, countless more will be enslaved, and society as we know it is coming to an end...WON'T SOMEONE TAKE...
The Terrible Secret of Space [SG1 S1E19]
19 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
If it looks like SG1, sounds like SG1, and acts like SG1, then it must be SG1. Right? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
100% Fact-Based [SG1 S1E18]
05 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Some lengthy conversations about optimal drinking water temperature, why you shouldn’t put your body parts into a fire during a survival situation, ...
The Cursed Episode [SG1 S1E17]
22 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Omoc's rude. Narim is smitten. Sam gives away a cat. Daniel helps the Tollan escape the US government. Hammond has some competition for his bestie. Ja...
Teal'c 2.0 [SG1 S1E16]
08 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Here's the Reader's Digest version of the episode: On another planet, Teal'c must stand trial for his past crimes. To the shock of SG-1, not all pla...
This is How Jaffa Roll [SG1 S1E15]
22 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
A plague destroys a planet and a kid has a bomb in her chest. Everything's fine here....How are you?
We Might Be Goa'uld [SG1 S1E14]
08 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
"This week, we learn that women can be good at their jobs. Thanks, Stargate! We never would have known."
Inherent Sparkle Talent [SG1 S1E13]
25 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Is Daniel really dead? Who is Omoroca? How many hats does Teal'c have? WHO FEEDS DANIEL'S FISH???
Hagfish [SG1 S1E12]
11 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
SG1 goes to Teal'c's home world to rescue his son. There's lots of talk about hagfish with a tad bit of revolution and genocide thrown in for good me...
Naked Hermit Hugs [SG1 S1E11]
28 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
An old friend from the movie joins SG1 on a mission to a planet so secretive that even the hagfish don't know of its existence. It's a place full of ...
I Find Your Lack of Hemsworth Disturbing [SG1 S1E10]
25 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Happy holidays! Our gift to you is a couple of extra episodes! This one has it all, laughing crowds, walking montages, advice from passing thunderst...
Trippy Pizza Cake [SG1 S1E9]
25 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Happy holidays! Our gift to you is a couple of extra episodes! O’Neill eats a funny cake that leads him to contract a possibly fatal STD. Totally...
Secret Quark [SG1 S1E8]
14 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The team learns some important lessons in object permanence and minding their own business.
Pseudo'neill [SG1 S1E7]
30 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The crystals of planet scrambled egg take a deep dive into Jack's gaping mental wounds.
Bone Throne [SG1 S1E6]
16 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
An unstable ruler refuses to give up his power. No. It's not the news. It's 'Stargate SG1'!
Daniel's Big Bone [SG1 S1E5]
02 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Kathy questions poor leadership. Mary gets angry at bad science. Sam is horny. O'Neill screeches. Hammond gets a straight jacket. And, as the tit...
Capt. Dr. Samantha Doctor Carter [SG1 S1E4]
19 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
It's your typical love story of boy meets girl, boy kidnaps girl, boy tries to trade girl for a different girl, and when that doesn't work, boy sells ...
Baby's First Surgery [Sg1 S1E3]
05 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Kowalski has a hagfish thing in his brain! Can the team save him? You'll never know unless you listen to this episode. Or you could watch the show. ...
Daniel Sneezes [SG1 S1E1(&2)]
21 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Using the 1994 movie as a backdrop, Stargate SG1 launched in 1997 with a 2-part episode. Let the fun begin!
Pilot Episode - Stargate the Movie!
20 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We kick things off with the movie that started it all--Stargate! Join us as Kathy and Mary discuss the movie that both hosts include on their list of...