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Staying Relevant

Pete and Sam’s Worst Dating Advice Yet

20 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What unexpected ASMR moment starts the episode?

0.031 - 12.268 Sam Thompson

Welcome to Staying Relevant, the bonus episode hosted by me, Sam Thompson, and Peter, James, Jonathan, Joseph, Jezamiah, Jezariah, Jeremiah, Wixx!

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15.286 - 43.703 Pete Wicks

This episode contains swearing. If you don't like it, go f*** yourself. It also will contain some ASMR because I awkwardly put in a chocolate lime just before the record that I am just keeping in my mouth. So if you hear some unusual noise, it's just a chocolate lime. Don't panic. All right. But now I don't want to spit it out because I like them. This episode will contain swearing.

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44.124 - 47.21 Pete Wicks

No, I've done that. Sorry, chocolate lime's really throwing me off.

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47.491 - 48.373 Sam Thompson

It's getting into the brain.

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Chapter 2: What is Sam's most played song on Spotify?

48.433 - 55.789 Pete Wicks

Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. It's just chocolatey, it's limey, it's just goodness. It's so intense. There is a lot of saliva.

0

57.372 - 58.354 Sam Thompson

Oh, God. Oh, God.

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58.503 - 72.016 Pete Wicks

I imagine you'll all sort of enjoy that as much as I am. I just want you to share the pleasure. This is the bonus episode, which means it is Thursday. You'll be able to watch this on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel from 5pm on Sunday.

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72.316 - 94.258 Pete Wicks

And Monday's main episode, which came out audibly on the Monday, you can now watch on Josh and Kira's YouTube channel as of 5pm last night, which was Wednesday, which means you can catch us on a... Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday. As this is the bonus episode, if you want to feature in this, then you can email the worst email address in the world, which is... Hello at srproductions.co.uk.

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94.398 - 99.804 Pete Wicks

Rate, review, hit follow, do all of that crap. You know the score. A little bit of housekeeping. Yeah. Sam, take it away.

100.244 - 106.971 Sam Thompson

Our book is now available in paperback. That's right. You can get the same book, but now it's paperback.

107.652 - 113.158 Pete Wicks

And we're treating you. We've made it red. Wow. Something different.

Chapter 3: How do Pete and Sam learn Gen Z slang?

113.198 - 132.576 Pete Wicks

Red for love, for hearts, because we love you. Sunday Times bestseller. You know, we thought to ourselves, the blue's done well. Let's just mix it up because we're crazy cats. Crazy cats. You know, it's just something a little bit kind of cheeky. It's going to be crazy out in here. We go a little cheeky red. So if you are looking for it in the paperback version, it's the same but red.

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132.676 - 133.377 Pete Wicks

Give us a finger.

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135.138 - 138.882 Sam Thompson

Finger our books. Just lick the tip and turn the page. Turn the page.

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140.245 - 169.054 Sam Thompson

emails for you now take it away with the emails boys i even heard that take it away boys how are we thoroughly enjoyed your spotify rap last year can we now find out your most played artist slash song of all time they have a new feature going through your entire listening history wow i can't even begin to imagine what this is going to be that's from holly i cannot wait to see this okay just

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170.84 - 180.972 Pete Wicks

On Spotify. Where do I find the homepage? Sort of on silent, I think would be better.

181.292 - 181.993 Unknown

Turn it down.

184.396 - 187.699 Sam Thompson

Your first day on Spotify was 23rd of January, 2020.

188.5 - 197.05 Pete Wicks

Mine was the 29th of June, 2019. Since then, I've listened to 2,028 songs. Okay.

198.262 - 203.393 Sam Thompson

I've listened to 3,879 songs. Oh, you are absolutely.

Chapter 4: What are the differences between innies and outies?

256.593 - 257.214 Sam Thompson

Is peak bad?

0

257.735 - 259.637 Pete Wicks

Yeah. Can you give us a rendition of it?

0

260.458 - 265.042 Sam Thompson

Well, I want to take my horse to the old town road.

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265.062 - 270.007 Pete Wicks

I want to ride till I can't no more. Good.

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270.528 - 273.271 Sam Thompson

Pippa, stop thinking we're fucking lame. We're cool millennials.

274.212 - 275.333 Unknown

Yeah, millennials.

275.684 - 277.846 Sam Thompson

Yeah. Am I a millennial? Millennial?

278.087 - 278.887 Unknown

Yeah, I think you are.

279.388 - 281.53 Sam Thompson

You're on the cusp of being a boomer.

Chapter 5: What is the perfect number of pints before things go downhill?

360.329 - 381.679 Unknown

kind of from the same era well they wouldn't really say anymore but it's in the same era as like peng like oh you look peng what as in like penguin what like you look peng today you look leng leng too leng leng and peng so what's what what's what's leng peng they're a bit out of fashion now but it means good looking

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382.621 - 386.408 Pete Wicks

What, so rather than just saying you're beautiful, you go, you're Leng Peng? Oh, God, what would you do?

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386.448 - 387.83 Unknown

No, you don't use them in conjunction.

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387.85 - 389.854 Pete Wicks

What would you do if people... What, it's Leng or Peng?

0

390.254 - 390.635 Unknown

Yeah.

390.655 - 391.657 Pete Wicks

All right, what's Feng?

391.677 - 395.063 Unknown

Is that right?

395.083 - 396.365 Sam Thompson

Yeah, Leng is, like, better than Peng. Leng is, like, top level.

396.425 - 397.347 Unknown

Peng's like your fish.

Chapter 6: How do Pete and Sam define unattractive vs annoying people in dating?

935.792 - 940.177 Sam Thompson

I've tried to help you there, Tilly, but I don't know if there's anything we could do from these... Well, just give us some more context.

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940.278 - 946.607 Pete Wicks

And listen, if all else fails and you're 21... Ask him to block her. Well, yeah, you could do that.

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946.747 - 962.272 Sam Thompson

Actually, why not a little bit? You know, we're not here to give good advice. We might as well tit for tat. Why don't you slide in some dims? Oh, God, I thought you were wondering where we were going with that. Let's give some bad advice for a bit, you know. Actually, go out and, like, you know, shag someone.

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963.795 - 968.102 Pete Wicks

You know? Get in there. Yeah, you're 21. It's legal. It's legal.

0

971.255 - 1000.249 Sam Thompson

bad advice for you so if you want some stellar advice like this then make sure you email in to the best email address in the world hello at srproductions.co.uk I said it was the best email address in the world there it's not it's the worst if you were given the worst advice to Tilly right now what would it be within reason not like murder or anything like that like within reason um what's the worst thing she could do that she could conceivably you could see her doing

1003.132 - 1004.234 Pete Wicks

Dump him, shag his dad.

1005.075 - 1007.099 Sam Thompson

Oh, nice. Nice.

1007.86 - 1011.466 Pete Wicks

Was that the level you were at? That was good. Okay, all right. What about you? What would you say?

1012.407 - 1018.277 Sam Thompson

I don't think I could beat that. That's pretty damn good. I would say, if I were you, I'd tit for tat it.

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