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Chapter 1: What are the hosts' favorite things from the past week?
This episode of Stylish is brought to you by Dan Murphy's. Find out what's new now and next when it comes to trending drinks. This is Stylish, the podcast for all things fashion, lifestyle, brand and beauty. I am Madison Sullivan-Thorpe and I am joined by my lovely co-hosts, Anika Joshi-Smith and Joanna Fleming. Hi guys.
She's back. The bitch is back.
Hi.
I don't know that I want to call you that. Oh my God, off-campus song stuck in my head, you know? Oh my God, I am still here. I'm still loving in the moment.
Still at the restaurant. What are we talking about today, Jojo? Oh, we have a meaty one today. We've got another edition of RUL, which for anyone who hasn't listened to our RUL episodes, it's a little bit different to what we normally do, but we essentially dissect some bigger themes and genres in these episodes. We lean into the lifestyle element of our intro.
We do, yes.
These are like lifestyle-focused episodes. So in this episode, we're focusing on life milestones and how we show up for the people in our lives. And it was actually, it came about because we got a DM from a listener that kind of stemmed us talking about this. So we're going to get into that right after we do our swap.
And because we know this is going to be a meaty episode, I'm just going to throw it straight to Annika.
Okay, wow. And there's something a little bit more lighthearted here. I have been loving color blocking lately. And I think because we're currently, Mads is looking at me as I'm wearing gray. This is me branching out of my all black. So this is progress, guys. But because I think it's winter, everyone's feeling a little bit more wanting to be a little bit more.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of life milestones in friendships?
I think it's pastel. I think it's fun, but you can do it in a few different ways. And I think maximalist colors are really going to start making an impact, especially once we hit spring-summer. So think bold purples. I'm looking at you. Actually, I'm looking at you too. I think you could do, you both could do quite a cool purple.
Like what shade of purple are we talking?
Like I'm going like a real accent, like bold pop purple. And even reds, like reds are forever. We know that.
I'm kind of liking the purple with tan at the moment. Chic. Great. Okay, thanks. You're welcome. AJS, take of approval.
On to the next. Love that.
Mads? Mine is my skin's just really playing up at the moment. Jo has been on this journey on panic text calls, FaceTimes. There's just a lot going on hormonally.
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Chapter 3: How do the hosts respond to a listener's wedding concerns?
I know that it's that, but it's like I'm really paying attention to what I use. I've gone back to a trusted trio that I'm like it just works at soothing my skin down. It is the number four rationale cleanser, the number one rationale serum, and my Tower 28 SOS spray. Okay. And that is just like my holy trinity. There's actually a fourth in there.
The La Roche-Posay Effaclar H Moisturizer is in that rotation. They're just my, like, calm the farm, bring it back down. I'm conscious this is going to be a long episode. Jo.
Can I ask a question? Hands up. Jo, would you say that because of the time of year change of seasons, like, are we all going to maybe start seeing a few flare-ups to our skin?
I think it depends on the skin type and concerns. Some people will experience more dryness in winter, like I know I definitely do. And those with more atopic skin conditions like eczema, psoriasis, those types of concerns will definitely see their conditions worsen. Okay, next question. If you got to envy some one product, what would it be? Oh, for winter? Yeah.
Oh, the Bioderma Atoderm Shower Oil.
I've got that.
Yeah, I've got that too. Not sponsored. I know that we are doing some work on this podcast with Bioderma, but that's my genuine first thing I thought of. Yeah, no, I bought it and I love it.
I've got that and I've got the Nuturium body oil wash that I quite like as well. I like both of them.
Yeah, I also really love the L'Occitane one, but if you need a fragrance-free one because you've got eczema, then that would be the one. Stunning. Take it away. Mine is the most random one I think I've ever brought to this podcast, and I've brought a few random ones with me, including Uno Flip, which I still stand by. This one is Ellie the Elephant. Sorry?
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Chapter 4: What insights do the hosts share about showing up for friends?
Well, yeah. It's like bring it on except she's in an elephant costume. I want to do a live Google search.
You've got to look her up.
Okay. So she has her own TikTok account. She's got 267 followers. She's got this signature stomp dance move that she does. And she twerps. She does the splits. She does like headstands. It's wild. And I don't actually know who's under the costume. She's a bit of a diva. Or if there's multiple people. She... is honestly so cool.
And I feel weird saying that about an elephant, a costume of an elephant.
There are so many character arcs for Joanna Fleming, everybody.
Like, I'm just, I didn't expect this today.
Like, hello, Madonna.
Yeah, full Madonna outfit. Right. It is actually so funny. Like, you'll get sucked into the elephant now that you've listened to this episode or probably end up on your algorithm. I just really loved it. I thought it was just really fun and, like, women's sport just doesn't get enough attention and I really love that they're just leaning into this. Okay. And she's going off.
Way to make an entrance with Ellie the Elephant. Yeah, there you go. I'm going to start watching WNBA. Liberty's my team now.
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Chapter 5: How do life stages affect friendships and support?
And it was in the context of romantic relationships, but I think about it a lot in friendships. And it's that, you know, forget a hundred. Like sometimes you're both just at a 20 or someone's able to give 80 at a certain time and 20 at another.
And I think the context of them not having kids is really important because that's kind of the first reason we give someone grace to sort of exit stage left of commitment. Yeah. But there are also other commitments that come up and it might be family members or, you know, relationship troubles or it might be they're having another friendship trouble or turmoil's at their job.
Like I just think there's a lot of layers as to why sometimes people... And that can be really hard, but I do still really empathize with that feeling of joy or excitement not being met.
Yeah, totally understand that feeling of disappointment that comes with just the feeling of them not showing up. Like even if, you know, they don't feel that that's what they're doing, you're perceiving it that way. Yeah.
I kind of want to be devil's advocate in a way, and I don't mean this in a harsh way, but I think reminding myself of this constantly in my own life is that you think about yourself a lot more than other people do. Yeah. So that's sometimes like reassuring, I think, to know that, that yes, you are the main character in your own life, but you're not the main character in everyone else's.
And as much as this is like the most important time in your entire life as it should be and should be celebrated, unfortunately, other people also have other stuff going on that is more of a priority to them.
Yeah.
So I think just remembering that maybe makes you feel like it's a bit less personal when people aren't contributing in the way that you want them to or showing up for you the way that you want them to. Definitely.
It kind of takes me back to your point as well, Matt, about 50-50. Yeah. We are taught at such a young age that we want to treat others how we want to be treated. And I want to flip that because I feel like when you do do that, you almost set yourself up for a bit more disappointment because your expectation is that people are going to give exactly back to you what you gave to them. And-
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Chapter 6: What are the audience's views on celebrating milestones?
I was there the day she was born and I've seen her all the way to who she is today. And she's eight years old. She's got more sass than I do, which is unreal. But I just feel like she is my own daughter as well.
And so at times when I was at my bottom, when I also was really struggling with my fertility and whether or not I was actually ever going to be a mom, having her has always been like, she's my little bestie. I've literally got goosebumps right now talking about it because it gave me, it filled a bit of a hole in my heart that couldn't be filled at a time in my life.
And I empathize with our listener because obviously she's at such a different stage. And it's so hard sometimes when also all of your friends are sharing a journey and you're feeling a little bit left out of that conversation. So I guess, Mads, like your tangible tips, I want to hear them. Because how does she involve herself? How does she become part of that chat?
How does she include herself without just putting her hand up to be like, I don't know, the nanny or, you know, anything else?
Totally. And I want to start by saying no one's at fault here. No. I think the empathy that I have for all of my friends who have had kids, and I have friends who've experienced that really differently, is that this is probably the most life-altering time for them. Their identity is shifting. It's their biggest identity shift. It's the brutality of their life looking really different now.
And for some of them, stepping back from work's really hard if that's what they're doing, or having a really tough baby is really hard. And Sleep deprivation, all the things. For me, it's being really, really honest about what is possible for your friends who have babies. And kids, you know, it changes. And I think it's really important to think of it as like seasons.
So when your friend has a newborn, going for a walk or a coffee or taking Uber Eats to their house is... is the easiest way to see them, like meet them in their environment. And I know that might feel unfair and I know that the wine bar and the gossip and the big belly laughs and drinking too much and Ubering, not driving, is probably more fun. It's probably more fun for your mum friend too.
But this season she's at home. It's better for her to be there if the baby wakes or naps. Like it's such a big exercise to get out of the house. Yeah. And then I have like, and so I have a lot of friends that are probably in that under one year old phase. So I like to think that I can kind of meet them there.
But I also have some friends who have older kids who are in this beautiful transition phase of wanting to get back to the wine bar and feeling comfortable with the babysitter. So I think it's that you just have to bend this little bit and you can think it's unfair as the one without kids.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts discuss the challenges of comparison culture?
Maybe there's just this kind of like misunderstanding or misalignment between your seasons. And so that can make it challenging to kind of like still relate to each other and those types of things, which, as you said, it kind of will come back around eventually.
Once, you know, kids are at a certain age and they're at school and, you know, their mom is back working or whatever it might be, then you have other things that you can share in common. But I definitely can understand where that grief is kind of coming from. And it was so funny that Dani said exactly the same thing. I've read this response and I was like, oh, I think she needs to hear this.
I think she just needs to hear that she's not alone in feeling that way and doesn't need to feel selfish or self-centered for feeling like that. And that she's grieving these friendships that once were super, super valuable to her in the way that they were.
Yeah. And I think as well, a lot of my girlfriends who have had kids, for them having those really solid friendships that aren't just mom friends is really important as well. And I don't want every response to all of these things to be that if your friends have become mothers, that you bend and mold around just that.
It's having empathy for them, but equally like the, you know, as women transition into mothers, I think it's really important that your only community isn't
the echo chamber of just people who are mums and just people whose kids are the same age as your kids because you won't know any life outside of your own if you're only around other people who have kids at the exact same age doing the exact same things. You know, I do want to have that empathy of it's not just... the person who's last or isn't going to do it bending around.
I really like that you made that point because I think something that I've also kind of struggled to say out loud and this is a safe place so I'm just going to do it anyway but I think something that comes up often in my friendship group is the fact that it's okay when you are a new mum to mourn your past life and to mourn my past self and
Even saying that out loud, it makes me feel proud of myself because I think, you know, I have my own business. I have worked really hard to get to where I am today. And I never, never wanted to give up so much. And I think it's so interesting where I'm at right now because I knew it was going to be hard.
I knew the season was going to be really hard, but I don't think I anticipated just how hard and being able to actually talk openly about it has been so important. But also something I love when you guys came over, like you wanted to know all about Poppy, which love, but also I wanted to know about you guys. I wanted you to keep me informed on what
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts do the hosts share about friendship dynamics?
Next, we're finding out what milestones you actually care about, but that will be right after a word from today's sponsor. There are few things better than getting a recommendation from someone who really knows their stuff. That's exactly why we love Dan Murphy's. Their team are constantly keeping an eye on what's new, what's trending, and what drinks people are talking about.
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So we wanted to know more about the actual milestones that you have some feelings about too. So we've got a few stats to read out. To stay on the wedding theme for now, if you were a bridesmaid for someone, did you feel the pressure to invite them to your wedding is our first question. 45.6% of you said that you do for some people. 27.2% said no. 16.7% said yeah and I want to return the invite.
And 9.6% said yeah and I don't want to return the invite. Thoughts?
I mean, there's a big difference between being invited to be in the bridal party and being invited to the wedding at all. Oh, yeah. Yes. I think if I was a bridesmaid in someone's wedding, I would expect them to be invited to my wedding. Yeah. But I don't think you can be asked to be in a bridal party.
What if you're not friends anymore?
Oh, that's a big one.
Like if you've really drifted apart, you haven't seen each other in like three years. I don't know. Gosh, it's hard. So when we were doing our wedding guest list, we sat down and we were like, okay, who do we want in our lives moving forward? So that was kind of one of the things when it came to doing our guest list. But it is very circumstantial. Like going back to that point, Jo,
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