Life can be so awkward. Here's how to embrace the embarrassing
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Why do we feel so awkward in middle‑school social situations?
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If you think about a cafeteria There was the cool kid table. There's the athlete table, and maybe the edgy alternative table. But there was always a table of nerds.
This is tied to Shiro.
Uh the socially awkward kids who were the furthest thing from cool. Who were maybe a little physically clumsy, who dressed frumpy.
And yeah, that was tough.
I sat at that table.
So it was the first week of school. He had just started seventh grade.
And at my table were three other guys. One was Hassan. He's kind of this math prodigy who ended up taking classes at the high school.
There was Will. He spent his time building model pine cars.
He apparently dominated the pine car racing circuit.
And Eddie, he was the funny one.
But he had this dry humor, kind of a Wes Anderson humor that nobody really got. And We were all, you know, nice kids. We were good kids. But we were definitely not cool.
And as the four looked around, they knew that they weren't cool, but they didn't understand why gossipy people wearing torn jeans or aviator sunglasses were.
No one played tag or king of the mountain or four square or any of these other things we thought were really cool. Instead, kids just stood around.
Ty Hassan, Will, and Eddie thought this was boring and absurd. And so they were going to do something about it. They were going to play.
We were gonna bring back the good old days of recess and inspire other kids to rediscover the wonders of play. So after some deliberation, we decided to kick it off with one of our favorite playtime activities, which were reenactments of wrestling matches from the worldwide wrestling federation.
They staked out a corner of the schoolyard between a chain-link fence and a soccer goal and got down to the important decision of deciding who would play who.
Will declared that he'd play Hulk Hogan, who was the current champion. Someone else was Randy Macho Man Savage. Hassan selected the Iron Chic. And keeping with these kind of semi-offensive racial stereotypes, I chose to be Mr. Fuji, who was the lone Japanese American wrestler in the Federation. And we we really got into it.
There were chokeholds, eye rakes,
alarm bars, body slams,
and all the elaborate theater that went along with it. And it was fun.
Fly into the fence and then bounce back in double time and then you'd clothesline them in the neck with your outstretched arm.
This went on for weeks, Ty and his friends swinging each other around. Until one day
I I pause to you know wipe the sweat from my brow. And I just happened to glance at the other students in the courtyard. And all of a sudden, for the first time. I had this sharp revelation. None of the other kids were joining us. You know, a few of them watched us with a mixture of kind of fascination and horror. And as I realized all this, I felt my stomach sink, and I felt a panic in my chest. Now, right at that moment of realization. Hokogan placed his tight grip onto my arm. And he began to swing me around to build momentum, kind of like an Olympian getting ready to do the hammer throw.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why do we feel so awkward in middle‑school social situations?
0:00–5:47
2
How did Ty Tashiro’s childhood wrestling game reveal the science of awkwardness?
5:47–12:23
3
What does research say about the three core traits of socially awkward people?
12:23–20:15
4
How can embracing awkward traits become a personal strength and lead to achievement?
20:15–26:56
5
Why does Melissa Dahl suggest we stop trying to ‘cringe‑proof’ our past?
26:56–34:16
6
How do Liana Fink’s cartoons help us make sense of uncomfortable moments?
34:16–40:41
7
What can we learn from Erin Chen about talking openly about sex and consent?
40:41–46:21
8
How can we turn everyday embarrassment into a tool for growth and connection?
46:21–53:58