What does it actually mean to be a "real man" these days? In a personal talk packed with actionable advice, youth advocate Davonte Green challenges age-old stereotypes about masculinity, showing that emotional intelligence and self-control — not aggression — are the keys to moving through the world with confidence and strength.For a chance to give your own TED Talk, fill out the Idea Search Application: ted.com/ideasearch.Interested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links:TEDNext: ted.com/futureyouTEDSports: ted.com/sportsTEDAI Vienna: ted.com/ai-viennaTEDAI San Francisco: ted.com/ai-sf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Full Episode
You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas and conversations to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. Today, a history of toxic masculinity. Regardless of our gender identity, community engagement manager Devante Green says we are all harmed by what he calls the invisible yet potent misconception of masculinity.
Devante shares a powerful tool that can be used to help men, and anyone really, develop emotional management skills and break down dangerous stereotypes. around what it means to be a man. That's coming up.
So a few years ago, I was facilitating a workshop inside of a level three men's prison right here in California. Oftentimes, we had about 70 participants. Men serving sentences anywhere between three to 38 years. As we began our workshop, like any good workshop, start with an activity. The activity that we started with is known as cross the line.
You might be familiar with it, but the way it works is I ask a question and if it resonates, then a participant steps forward and cross the line. The question that I asked was to step forward and cross the line if you are currently serving a sentence from a crime that you committed that took you 60 seconds or less. An overwhelming amount of participants took a step forward.
And not just one of the trainings, but in every one of them. Wow. I was astonished. In less than 60 seconds, these men had lost so many years of their lives. And they've also created victims, and they've impacted their own families and communities, all because they couldn't pause and were most likely acting in alignment with what they think it is to be a real man.
See, I grew up right here in Inglewood, and Inglewood, like many cities across the country, has been impacted by that invisible yet potent misconception of masculinity and what it means to be a real man. Culturally, we perpetuate this through music, entertainment, all influencing how men and boys view masculinity and what it means to be a real man.
Now, sadly, I've lost too many of my own loved ones due to this misconception. Folks fueled by anger, jealousy, and a lack of self-accountability. It was the murder of my two best friends and my cousin, Robert Gary Jackson Jr., Trayvon Williams, Tyrone Tucker Jr.,
that really propelled me to become a healthy manhood and masculinity advocate, and to go on to found the Giant's Den Leadership Network for aspiring Black men and boys, where we foster emotionally intelligent leaders who are also actively engaged in their communities. But this ain't how I started.
Before I was known for this work, before I found my passion for supporting Black men and boys, I was known and celebrated for my aggression on the football field, and also known for these hands. I was the guy who wanted to fight once folks started making one too many jokes. In fact, I often wanted to fight whenever I felt disrespected, which is okay in my community.
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