How to speak up — even when you don’t want to | Sarah Crawford-Bohl
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You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas and conversations to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. Why is it that for so many of us, silence in the face of an uncomfortable interaction feels like the easier path forward, even when we're dying to speak up? In her talk, healthcare executive Sarah Crawford-Bowl shares why we often struggle with confidence in challenging situations and offers steps for finding the courage to lean into tricky conversations.
Silence. It can be a needed moment of peace and contemplation. But what happens when silence becomes a barrier? A barrier that muffles the voice of truth, of advocacy, of change. Speak up, advocate for yourself, stand up for what you believe in. That's what they say, right? Well, even though I know they're right, it's easier said than done. I'm sure we can all think of a time when we faced a crossroads, perhaps the precipice of an uncomfortable conversation, when speaking up felt like the right, if not even essential path. but silence seemed safer. I can vividly see and feel myself being in those moments, times when I stood red-faced, embarrassed or offended, frustrated or angry, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, unable to find my voice and unsure if I had the courage, confidence or will
to face the difficult conversation before me. Sound familiar? We're not alone. Research from VitalSmarts, a global leader in organizational performance and leadership, tells us people would rather quit their jobs than address a challenging situation. In this post-pandemic time, with baby boomers retiring and a wave of quiet resignation upon us, The world seems to be working short-staffed. I'm a nurse and have worked in healthcare leadership for a long time. And I'm here to tell you, in this profession, we can't risk losing anyone, especially not for the reason of avoiding a challenging conversation. In a world where we are experiencing increasingly rapid cycles of change, we can expect difficult conversations, particularly in the workplace, to happen more often than ever before.
Moments such as sharing feedback, identifying mistakes, or calling out disrespect. They're not always easy, but often critical to the performance of both individuals and a team. In healthcare, where stakes are high, our willingness to raise concerns can be vital to the quality of care we provide, but also to the safety of patients and the care team. In fact, research also tells us that when we do speak up, we experience more job satisfaction, increased team morale, and in my world, support better patient outcomes. I've experienced this for myself. Now, I don't have all the answers and I don't always get it right. In fact, I make a mess of it sometimes. But often I've found it's a bit like cardio or weightlifting.
Why do we struggle to speak up during uncomfortable conversations?
Well, we feel a bit vulnerable at the time. With practice, we start to experience the benefits. It gets easier and we get better at it. We need to find a path to help us get past that initial fight, flight, or freeze response to get us to the table and make leaning into uncomfortable conversations the desired action for our own benefit, as well as to benefit those around us. Now, I was fortunate. I had some amazing role modeling by parents who encouraged me to use my voice, specifically when I knew I should but didn't want to. My mom, an intensive care nurse for many years, had a special ability to address tough topics, traumas, embarrassing bodily functions, or sharing critical feedback. She always created airtime for normally avoided matters.
With a fierce moral compass that was sometimes incredibly frustrating, she advocated for what was right. showing me the importance of standing up for oneself and others, even when uncomfortable to do so.
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