TED Talks Daily
TED Talks Daily Book Club: Why change is so scary — and how to unlock its potential | Maya Shankar (re-release)
19 Oct 2025
Unexpected change like an accident, an illness or a relationship that suddenly ends is inevitable -- and disorienting. With a heartfelt and optimistic take on life's curveballs, cognitive scientist Maya Shankar shares how these challenging moments can inspire transformation, offering three questions to ask when facing uncertainty, so you can let go of rigidity and embrace change.Interested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links:TEDNext: ted.com/futureyouTEDAI San Francisco: ted.com/ai-sf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Full Episode
You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. Last Sunday, I shared with y'all that we're doing a virtual read-along of TEDx speaker Oliver Berkman's book, Meditations for Mortals, four weeks to embrace your limitations and make time for what counts.
This is happening in the lead up to our TED Talks Daily Live Book Club conversation, which is gonna happen on Tuesday, November 4th. While we read along, I'm sharing a few talks with you here that I've been reminded of or have turned to as I'm reading this book. Today, we're thinking about what it means to take action.
Oliver asks us to think about what could shift if we embrace imperfection, which connects to this 2023 talk from cognitive scientist Maya Shankar. In her talk, she explains how life's curveballs can be expansive and even inspiring. She also has three questions to reframe our relationship to change and open up the possibility for growth.
You can follow me on Instagram at Elise Who, that's E-L-I-S-E-W-H-O, where I'll be sharing thoughts about the book Meditations for Mortals as we read along. And if you're intrigued, please head to ted.com slash join to sign up and RSVP for our book club meeting. But for now, here's Maya's talk.
When I was a kid, the violin was the center of my life. I'd run home from the bus stop after school and practice for hours. Every Saturday, my mom and I would wake up at four in the morning to catch a train to New York so I could study at Juilliard.
When I was a teenager, my musical idol, Itzhak Perlman, invited me to be his private student, and my big dream of becoming a concert violinist felt within reach. But then, one morning when I was 15, I was practicing this tricky technical passage. I struggled to get it right, and I overextended my finger on a single note. I heard a popping sound.
I'd permanently damaged the tendons in my hand, and my dream was over. I share this story because unexpected change happens to all of us. An accident or an illness, a relationship that suddenly ends. Today, I'm not a violinist, but I'm a cognitive scientist, and I'm interested in how we respond to exactly this kind of change.
I've spent the past two decades studying the science of human behavior, and today I host a podcast called A Slight Change of Plans. Glad you guys like it. Where I interview people from all over the world about their life-altering experiences. I started this podcast because change is scary for a lot of us, am I right? For one, it is filled with uncertainty, and we hate uncertainty.
Research shows that we're more stressed when we're told we have a 50 percent chance of getting an electric shock than when we're told we have a 100 percent chance. It's wild, right? I mean, we'd rather be sure that a bad thing is going to happen than to have to deal with any uncertainty. Change is also scary because it involves loss of some kind.
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