Chapter 1: Why is Yichud traditionally not practiced at Sephardi weddings?
one more Sephardi Ashkenazi topic and that is again still the afterglow of Nathan Payman's wedding for those who went there is no Yichud at a Sephardi wedding or traditionally there hasn't been Yichud at a Sephardi wedding I discussed I discovered this with my first Sephardi Talmud to get married I remember it was a Sephardi Masada Kedushin and the Masada Kedushin took all seven brachos under the chuppah which is also
typically the Sephardic tradition, and it's really the Ashkenazic tradition also, but somehow, at some point that changed, maybe that's the topic for a different time, but he asked me to be one of the 8-day kiddush, and I was an 8 kiddush, and then after the chuppah, they danced the chassan and called it to the yichud room, and they got right to the door of the yichud room, and Marina Del Rey, I remember, and the chassan said, we're Sephardic, we don't have yichud anyway, and they just continued dancing for a while, because they don't do yichud, so that issue of why it is that Sephardim don't do yichud at the wedding, is a perplexing issue, and it's something that
I think is a fascinating discussion. The Rambam holds, as we've discussed a few times already this summer, the Rambam holds that chuppah is defined as yichud. Nisuin is defined as yichud.
Chapter 2: What is the definition of Nisuin according to the Rambam?
And one would therefore think that Sephardim would be especially careful to have yichud after the chuppah because that is the definition of nisuin. That's how they get married. However, the common Sephardic practice, like we said, is not to have yichud. So let's discuss why it should be. And by the way, the practice goes way back to the
Chapter 3: What historical practices influence Sephardi wedding customs?
The Chuvah Saradvaz already records such a practice. So the question is, why should this milik be kept? And then maybe we'll go through some of the reasons that some suggest that maybe the milik should be changed at this time. And then we'll try to come to some halachic conclusion. So why to keep this milik?
Chapter 4: What are the arguments for maintaining the Sephardi tradition of no Yichud?
So the list of Svardik Adolim that insist that Svardim should not have yukla at the wedding is long and impressive.
Rav Ezra Atiyah in the Tshuvos Yaskel Avdi, Chalik Zayin Avnezer Simen Yud, Rav Vadi Yosef in Yechav Adas, Chalik Hei Simen Samach Bez, Rav Ben Sion Abba Shaul is quoted as well, saying the same thing, the Maimor Mordechai, Rav Mordechai Elio in his Tshuvos Maimor Mordechai, Chalik Bez Avnezer Simen Vav, Rav David Halevi in the Tshuvos HaSeil HaRav, Chalik Dal Simen Unhei,
Rav Meisas, all these Sephardic Adolim say that they should continue with the Sephardic tradition. Rav Yitzchak Yosef wrote an article in the Torah journal Tchumen in the 31st edition of Tchumen.
where he says that it's a breach of tznius, to have a chassan and kala go into a room alone, with everybody watching, and the whole world is going to dance into this room, and then they're going to go into a room all alone and lock the door behind them.
Chapter 5: How do contemporary views challenge the Sephardi practice of Yichud?
What kind of tznius is that? Everyone knows that they're going into a room in privacy. That's not appropriate. That's probably his idea. It's probably that it's an extension of what the Gemara in Kisubas tells us, that everybody knows,
Chapter 6: What reasons are given for potentially changing the Sephardi custom?
what's going to happen on the night of a wedding. Someone who speaks about such things, someone who tries to focus on such things, even if he has a gzardin of 70 good years for speaking about such things, the gzardin is going to change to 70 bad years. So Rabbi Yitzchak Yosef thinks it's just inappropriate that this is going to be something that's done in such a public way.
Now one could argue on the flip side, that, no, they're going into a room together, and everybody knows they're not going to be having Tashmish, because they're coming out ten minutes later, and they have a wedding to celebrate.
Chapter 7: How do Sephardi and Ashkenazi customs differ regarding hair covering?
Everybody knows that they just want to spend some time together before they go, and celebrate with all the guests. And that does not seem to be at all a breach of Tzinias. But anyway, that's the argument, one of the arguments Yitzchak Yosef makes. The stronger argument, and the one that is more prevalent,
is that the reason that Sephardim don't do Yichud at the wedding is because, because it completes the Nisuin.
Chapter 8: What is the significance of preserving cultural traditions in weddings?
And since it completes the Nisuin, according to the Rambam and the Mechaber, she would then need to cover her hair if they had Yichud. And most Kalas don't want to cover their hair at the wedding. So she would need to put on a sheitel right away.
she would need to put on a tichel or something right away at the yichud, and most women do not want to be covering their hair at their wedding, so they wait until after the wedding to complete the marriage, so that they won't have to cover their hair until afterwards. Rabbi Willig often points out that really full hair covering is only required after Bia Rishonah.
It's not Nisuan, that's the Mechayev of hair covering. There's a major Machlogsha Poskan. There are Poskan that hold that from Aresin and on, you already need full hair covering, and therefore a Kala's got to even go to the Chuppah, march down the aisle with a full hair covering. There are those that suggest...
that it's only at Nisuin, and then Rav Willick suggests, and many others, that it's only from the B'yari Shona, because the chiv to cover a hair is derived from the Pesukim Parshas Nasa, that is Sotah, and a woman cannot become a Sotah until B'yas Mitzvah, so perhaps the covering of the hair, the obligation begins at the B'yas Mitzvah.
So the only requirement at the wedding itself to have any sort of hair covering at the wedding itself is based on the description that the Mishnayis have in Masechas K'subas of a color that's Yotze B'Hinumah, that there's something... There's some sort of head covering that's indicative of being a kala.
So that's why Rav Shachter recommends to kalas that they should wear their veil throughout the wedding, not over their face, but on their head, that the veil should be there, that there should be some form of head covering
even though obviously the majority of their hair is visible, but at least if someone is looking at the kala, they should be able to say, oh, something is on her head.
There are different, you know, every kala tries to negotiate this down, right? Meaning, what if it's just a headband? What if a barrette? What if, you know, there's a piece of dirt somewhere in my hair? You know, so some hairspray, is that good?
So, but nevertheless, there should be some sort of head covering, but not because of the normal din of head covering, but because of this din, this idea of Yotzi being Numa.
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