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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap.
Brought to you by Export Ultra. G'day there, welcome along to the Agenda Podcast summer special, the first 11 of the best interviews we've done throughout the last 12 to 18 months. This one here was a little different. This was, again, to do with the Black Clash, and this was the announcement of a wild card for Team Cricket, and that is William Wairua, a YouTube...
social media sensation, a very funny man, was William Wairua. And he talks about the trials and tribulations of having to go into a professional cricket environment. We give him some advice on what to do, how to approach the showers, how to behave in a cricket changing room. Not sure he listened to us, but it was a good yarn anyway with William Wairua. Righto, joining us in the studio, Mashi.
Yes. Special guest. We've got William Wairua.
Hey, kia ora. Kia ora, Morena. How are you? Man, fantastic to be in this. What an establishment, man.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of William Waiirua's inclusion in Team Cricket?
It's beautiful in here. Yeah, some people have compared this to a teenage boy's bedroom.
Well, the boxes look like the teenage boys.
Yeah, in fact... Fair observation, actually. Yeah. It's interesting you pick out the box actually William because we've got some big news. We've been involved in this event since the start and it's one of our favourite sports events of the year and I think it's grown into potentially one of New Zealand's biggest sports events and most popular anyway. It's a one massive party.
Is it fair to say sports adjacent event? Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I think that's probably why William signed up for us. For the fact that it's more a party than an actual sports event. But you are the latest announcement in the Black Clash. Congratulations, mate.
Yeah. Oh, mate. The Wairoa wildcard. Yeah. So I'll take that on board. Yeah.
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Chapter 3: What advice do the hosts give William about professional cricket?
I actually was with Millsy at a rugby game. It was All Blacks sort of 15 against a parliamentary team, and I was playing for the parliamentary team. And some of the All Blacks were playing, like Skuddle Nehe was playing, Reno Ranger. And then Kyle Mills at Locke. So I was like, and we're having a beer afterwards. We're having a beer afterwards after we had got smashed, the parliamentary team.
And I said, mate, you've got to get me in. I bowled a good, I'm like, mate, he's opened the batting, opened the bowling when I was younger. He's like, when was that? I was under eight. He's like. And then, yeah, then I got the call-up, so it was all, cheers, Millsy.
Yeah, and I hear a rumour that you've been having a few nets. How'd that go?
Yeah. How'd that go? Yeah. Just, like, I've looked up to Millsy for a long time, as we all have, and any of the Black Cat boys, and just him coming in was intimidating. Him coming in, like, with his action straight there, and I was just like... And I was fully ā I had every pad you can have on. In a cage. In a cage.
And it was like ā I've been in nets where it's sort of the open, but this one was like the hallway. And it was just, nah, first ball out. Next ball, he started dropping them in short. I said, nah, I don't want to. Come on, mate.
If it makes you feel any better, a similar situation happened with Sir Brian Lara a couple of years ago. He got on the gin and tonics one morning in the Mount. Is that quite so far the story? Morning! Not only the morning, he'd been out of the golf day. That's right. And then Millsy ended up pinning him on the length as well. So it's happened to five-bit cricketers.
I think also William you're a victim of what Jeremy Wells did to Kyle Mills because we played this Tradies 11 game which is just a festival game and Kyle came in to bowl at Jeremy Wells and Jeremy put him through the covers twice in a row beautiful cover drives And for Millsy, it was like, I'm not having this guy. And so he started to wind up.
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Chapter 4: What are the dynamics of the Black Clash event?
And he actually said from then on, he goes, I'm not taking any prisoners anymore. I'm sick of just serving up half volleys. And then not long after that, he pinned Brian Lara. And then obviously you've come along and he's on this journey. He's not taking any prisoners now.
I've learned the hard way.
I feel like ex-Black Caps and cricketers have nothing to gain from these games. We talk about this all the time. Hopefully you've got something to gain from this. You can have a swing of the stick and get some runs or something like that. But these ex-cricketers, they've got nothing to gain.
Hey, I must admit, I've seen some footage, though, of your net session. You've got a good set-up. Oh, is it tidy?
You've got a tidy little set-up. I've watched cricket a long time, and I've just mimicked a lot of stuff, so I'll just take that out there. I've got a really good leaf.
that's important that's where I do my best work is I leave and sort of when you pay down a leg like a little leg glance and you let the bat over the top I love that I think you've got I think you've got half the this is half the thing about cricket visually you've got to look good it's an aesthetic based game though isn't it cricket yeah if you leave the first nut I reckon that's some real BDE if you can just leave that first one yeah leave it and then it'll probably hit the middle stump but
Because cricketers are quite judgy. I don't know. I mean, I've hung out with a lot of cricketers, and they're quite judgy. And when someone goes in to bat and they're set up as all crook, they immediately judge you hard. Like, I think even ā who was the NRL guy from last year?
Oh, JT.
Yeah, JT. Jonathan Thurston. Great guy, by the way. I mean, he was a legend. He was going around just giving tequilas out. But his ā Sit up at the crease. You can see all the cricketers go, oh, it's such a shame. You're such a good guy.
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Chapter 5: How did William's net session with Kyle Mills go?
You remember that? It was like, what the heck? Yeah, why are they? What is that? Yeah, what the heck? Baseball lit, eh?
It was, yeah. It was a time, eh, that one?
Yeah.
Because I think the other option, the only other option there was the Perspex. Yeah, that's right. And if that all fogs up, that's good. John Wright was a big fan of the Perspex.
I don't know how they... I've never worn a helmet till the nets. I've never actually worn a helmet till the nets of Millsy. It takes a while to get used to. I think that's why he bowled me out first ball. That or he's played cricket before.
You're going to fit in really well in the cricket changing room. And I just... A word of advice, watch out for Vittori in the showers. He's a huge nudist. He's a straight bat. Huge nudist. Plays a big straight bat. And he's captain as well. And he... New members of the team.
Undies on in the showers?
Undies on? Full undies off. This is full nude. But he's also been known to go to new members of the team, strip himself naked, and then says, rate your captain. And then you have to rate him out of 10. So it's one of the most defining moments. Oh, he's been always known for his line and length. Yes, and his armball. Yeah.
um hey uh tell me about did you wear box in the nets oh mate this is this is a stitch up i am so obviously um sponsored by kookaburra and um they had a full bag of new gear yeah i was padding up and i was already intimidated with because mills like you put some kid on like yeah i'm like I'm going to be facing Kyle Mills in the net. So I was like padding up. I was like, oh, where's the box?
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Chapter 6: How does William feel about playing alongside former Black Caps?
You? Yeah, over-appealing and over-shining of the ball. No shit. It was my teacher from science, was the umpire, and he knew that I was a bit of a jokester and mucking around all the time, and I appealed. Every single delivery of my bowl, one got hit for four wide, and I appealed every single delivery. And then when I was at slip, I was fielding at slip, and I appealed every single ball.
He goes, if you peel again, I'm going to send you off. And then one actually nicked off the pad. I went, oh, that's legitimately get off. So I got sent off. And then overshining the ball, he goes, bowl the ball. And I, yeah, no. Just working the groin. Yeah, working the groin. It was for me and the ball, that one. So overshining, and he said... Bowl the ball.
And then I got actually sent off after that. And that is no lie. So Mr. Clark, if you're still there, Mr. Clark, science teacher.
I can understand them overshining because some of that could be seen as just you self-pleasuring on the field. And it's it. Yeah, okay. And the over-appealing, that appeals to me, no pun intended, but you should do that at the Black Clash. When you bowl your over, I want you to appeal. As you get stroked through the covers for four or six. Richard Hadley as well.
One down, one up. Yeah, well, I got another quick story for that one. I saw a guy who looked like Richard Hadley, which I thought was in BP in 2004. And he goes, I'm not Richard Hadley. I go, mate, can I get a photo? He's trying to get a video. Richard, lovely to meet you. Can we get a photo? He's, oh, no, I'm not Richard. Oh, no, we'll take it. And we both just sat there.
He wasn't even Richard.
They posted it up and said they met Richard Hadley. And that's not Richard. He was Maori. Up in Gizzy. I'd love to be here with you boys.
Oh, thanks for coming in. He had a moustache though.
Oh, he had a moustache. Is that the only similarity? And a sweatband.
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Chapter 7: What insights does William share about cricket culture and etiquette?
How good is that?
I got it as a birthday gift about five years ago. And it had a sticker on it, $1.50. It must have been from the op shop.
You're happy to peruse through the ACC library there. We've got every autobiography.
How good is that? That's amazing. Did you see the bit in the Pringle book where he said he was bowling at the death at the SCG? Yeah. Have you read that part? That's my motivational thing. He was bowling at the death at the SCG. He was coming back to his mark and he heard a woman cry out, Hey Pringle, turn around, I'll show you my tits. And he went in, he turned around and she did.
And he goes, yeah, a couple of right arm rounds.
I added that last quarter. I thought it was a nice touch. We need to get you the Crowe style. Oh, really? That'd be a good read. Jeff and Martin Crowe do a chapter each. I think that'll give you some inspiration. Oh, the back and forth. Yeah, that's good. He played a bit of Central Districts cricket, I think, Martin Crowe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. MC. So there you go. Excellent.
Thank you, William.
Looking forward to you being in the Black Clash, and thanks for coming in. Excited. Thanks, boys. Appreciate it. Thanks.
The Agenda Podcast. The home of sporting nonsense and claptrap. Brought to you by Export Ultra.
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