Chapter 1: What is going on with Kevin Pietersen?
G-Lane, Minaya, a question we've had for a while here at the ACC is Kevin Peterson of Sound, Body and Mind. After seeing this clip here, I'm thinking that maybe something might be seriously wrong.
Six, seven.
Chapter 2: Why did the Crusaders pick Leicester Fainga’anuku?
Six, seven.
Okay, just to paint a picture, he's shirtless in a gym, set the phone up on some sort of bench and is coming towards the camera doing what my nine-year-old thinks funny. And even my nine-year-old said to me, that's over, Dad. That part I can forgive. It's the posting of it. So he's filmed that, he's looked at it and goes, crack up, and then posted it. You know what I mean?
He's been absolutely rinsed for it now, though. Is he shit? He's turned into a meme. He's officially a meme. You know what I worry about for Kevin Patterson is when I see that kind of thing, I think, doesn't have a great group of mates. Because if you had a tight group of mates, one of them would be like, don't post it.
Chapter 3: Who is Geoff Allott and why is he a frontrunner for the NZ Cricket CEO job?
Yeah, take that down. Or you would go to post it and go... Gus sees this, you know, if Lane sees this, he's going to tear shreds off me. He's a man that's got a shit decision in him though, doesn't he? Like I think about some of the lids that he ran back in the day as well.
Chapter 4: Are we starting to believe it's our year in cricket?
And just his general like opinions on cricket. Yeah, he doesn't really understand anything. But again, he's a cricket player. He was a good batter. I don't know that we should be looking for his opinions on things. You know what I mean?
Chapter 5: What feedback do listeners have in 'Yours Please'?
Well, here's a question in my 22 and 2. Whenever I ask cricketers, I say, you know, which famous cricketer would you bring back from the dead? And everyone says Shane Warne, who's modern cricketers anyway. Every time.
um and then i say um if the side effect of you um bringing back shane warren results you talking like kevin peterson for the rest of your life would you still do it no i'm seeing them say no no way i wouldn't do it before he can stay there if the if the ceremony to summon warning back from the other side was you had to go shirtless and go six seven um in front of the camera and then post it where you look like one of the worms from men in black
Would you still do it? How much did Tupu Vai fuck him up? Because remember when he was mental about how he can't celebrate a penalty? Yeah. It's like, well, who are you to decide what you can and can't celebrate? Oh, that's right. Yeah, there'll be a shrink over there in the UK. Is that where he's living in the UK? Yeah, probably.
There'll be a shrink over there who will pinpoint that moment and be like, talk to me about the name Tupu Vai. What does that mean to you? And he'll just break down and be like, okay, I think we found it. We found the, the infliction point in KP's life. Are there any Kevin Peterson fans out there? Like, I don't know if any, I've never met. Yeah. Kevin Peterson. Yeah.
Yeah.
Right. Okay. There's one. He, have you had any run-ins with him? No, no, no, no. I haven't actually. I haven't actually. Well, he, I mean, he's, he's, he's, Famously during the Ashes, he was hanging out with the Australians more than his own team. Oh, okay. Stuff like that. It was suggested that he was giving information to the other team. He's like he wanted to hang out with Shane Warne.
Right, okay. The best meme coming out of his 6-7 humiliation is the Happy Gilmore where he tries to go to his happy place and he can't quite get there because Kevin Peterson jumps into the middle of it and goes, 6-7. Is that an ACC original, that meme? I don't know. No, I think I've seen it. No, it is, yeah. It's an even pie. Is it? Yeah. That's one of the best ones I've seen.
It's an even original.
An even original. The other one someone said was a new sleep paralysis demon meme has dropped. Six, seven. Live from the Export Beer Garden studio, this is The Agenda for Thursday, the 23rd of April. The Agenda podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap. Brought to you by Export Ultra. Derry me, suck on this.
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Chapter 6: What insights do the hosts share about the Warriors and Dolphins match?
They closed that loophole by the time Rugby 08 came out where if you changed their position, their rating would go down. And there was one guy, this is such a deep cut, but the Italian winger was also a flanker.
so he was always one of the first picks yeah you can move a winger onto the flank well the crusaders have done it in real life now yeah i was trying to get my head around around how is it possible because i'd say 10 years ago you couldn't do that because i think they wouldn't a winger wouldn't know the dark arts of a rock yeah quick ball but nowadays all of them know how to do the jackal you know the tackle and jackal tackle up jackal ball they're all proficient yeah i'm trying to pinch that loose ball they're all proficient
You see halfbacks doing it? You see everyone on the field doing it?
At the breakdown, yeah.
They're all, everyone. I mean, anyone I say, well, they're probably the back row and the backs and everything. Because you can't get backs there fast enough. So they become loose forwards anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm kind of like, oh, that kind of makes sense. Because there was the dark arts with Richie McCaw and Michael Jones and all those kind of guys.
And now everyone's doing it because they've seen it. Because you have to do it now. Yeah, it's a big vote of confidence in Macca Springer, you'd have to say, or Braden Enor, because the fact that you can't keep them out of the team, that they've moved him into number seven. Because who's the usual number seven there? Who's on the bench? I can't even think. This Johnny Lee guy. Oh, that's right.
Didn't he score a couple of tries or something? The hat trick on the debut or something? I think this has come from the top. I think this is Dave Reddy going, hey, I want to see this motherfucker at open side. Loose Ford trio of... Tava Tava Ngawai, Whanganuku and Adi Savia would be pretty sick. Pretty mean. That'd be pretty sick, wouldn't it?
Because Rob Penny's not creative enough to do this kind of shit. No, he's not. Devastating with ball in hand, those three. Oh, my God. Yeah. I can't. Specky's everywhere. I wasn't overly pumped about Friday night's game, apart from the fact it was the first time I was going to see the stadium. Yeah. But now, less to Whanganuku at seven. Yeah.
I'm actually genuinely to say, if he carves up at seven.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts feel about the future of Super Rugby?
Straight after getting the kidney stones. So we're like, is this like a reverse curse sort of situation? So we got this fella Andy on yesterday before his social basketball season started up. Had a fucking blinder. He almost had a triple-double. He had eight points, 18 rebounds and 10 assists. So... There's a chance that our show is the counter to the curse.
Don't try and make your show sound like it's some sort of sports positive, okay? We are sports positive. And were you interviewing this- Why you shit on me every week. And you were interviewing this gentleman about his social basketball league. Sorry, we're just going to go back to that go for a moment. Yeah, well, he heard us talking about all the other athletes that we were interviewing.
Oh, right.
It was an initiative you wanted to test out, yeah.
To randoms, yeah. That makes sense.
But anyway, I wonder if that balances it out. I don't know. Well, we talked to Ryan Fox two weeks before he got his kidney stones, so that- Speaking of which, if you want to join us for the grand final, we'll let you know, I think, next month. No, actually, in June, we'll let you know how you can join us. It's the Export Ultra.
Just to give you a hint there that potentially there might be a number of people headed over there. Yeah. Let's take a break and we'll come back with some Yours Please. Yours Please! Brought to you by Export Ultra. Where's the granny? Grand final, Sydney. Sydney. Early October, I think October 4th to the 6th or something. First weekend of October, yeah.
I'll tell you what, we're going to partner up with old Dave and the boys trip guys, and that trip is epic. Fuck, I love Dave. You go to the races on the Saturday, all day at the races on Saturday. A day at the races. At Randwick, I think it is. And then on Sunday, going to the stadium, you go via boat.
So you go on a boat cruise for a couple of hours, slamming beers and then roll into the... The granny. The granny. So the granny's only a small part of the trip. Yeah, right. It's like the little icing on the end of the cake.
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Chapter 8: What are the implications of Geoff Allott's potential role in NZ Cricket?
There's so many of the bastards right here, but we're having a great time slinking some beers, watching some Chiefs mona.
Nice for John from TA. It's good he could just send us a note while he's at the game. Made an observation. Yeah. You know who needs to hear this? The agenda. The agenda, and we do. Yeah. So thanks, John from TA. Happy to hear it. Yeah. On your boy. Next one, yours please.
Hey fellas, 18-year-old Wounder here. This is nothing to the sport, but G-Lane, you motherfucker. Okay. You called it as soon as I got into the rum. I am now single. So, yeah, good one, cunt. Fuck's sakes. Yeah, that's right. What happened there?
He was talking to us about a year ago when he first turned 18, wasn't he? Well, how do I celebrate? And G-Lane recommended that he maybe starts looking at getting on the rumbos. But he did say that if you spend too much time on the rumbos and you come home too many times with that rum breath and try and put your cold hands down the back of your partner in bed at 2 a.m.
smelling like rum, it's not going to end well for him. And it turns out that it certainly hasn't. There we go. He's back on the market. Back on the market, 18-year-old Wynton Wounder. Watch out, Wynton. Yeah, look, I mean, he's in full-time employment. He's a catch. He's been working full-time since the age of 16. He's a pseudo-celebrity.
Yeah, he is.
Things are going to go well for him. Better just stay off the brown spirits. But what I would say, it's a great place to be on the Spirits down there in Winton because you've got the courtesy van on offer. Oh, yeah, true. The lovely, I believe she's Argentinian at the middle pub there. I don't know how she's ended up in Winton.
I was trying to figure that out when I was talking to her, but she does drive up to an hour. Up to an hour? She'll go up to an hour outwards.
Return or like half there, half out there?
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