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The Agenda

"Kieran Read: Please Explain"

13 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What are the latest updates on Luke Metcalf's release from the Warriors?

0.031 - 7.201 Kieran Read

G'day Mishy. G'day mate. Welcome back. Thank you, good to be back. Hey, on today's podcast, we're going to find out what this sound is.

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11.507 - 25.767 Kieran Read

So, we're going to... A Please Explain with Kieran Reid later on in the podcast.

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Chapter 2: How will Auckland FC cope without Guillermo May for the semi-final?

25.787 - 31.761 Kieran Read

Just a Please Explain on how we ended up in Aravinda Da Silva's mansion singing Ed Sheeran.

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31.781 - 37.373 Unidentified

I mean, there's quite a few questions around that. I'd also like to chat super around with him maybe as well and also a bit of general rugby co-chat.

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37.393 - 40.821 Kieran Read

I want to go more how we ended up singing Ed Sheeran at Aravinda Da Silva's house.

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40.801 - 55.62 Unidentified

Right, okay. Well, I'm thinking of the ZB listeners that we're going to have. Oh, okay. Because, of course, we do like to advertise these podcasts for some reason on Newstalk ZB. We get thousands. And quite often when we have a big guest on, it means that we get a fresh flood of boomers coming in. So first and foremost, welcome to you. Thank you very much for joining us.

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55.769 - 57.651 Kieran Read

Don't think they've stuck around.

57.932 - 63.92 Unidentified

But I just wanted to say, let's just keep it clean until we have Kieran Reid on, if that's okay, for all those new boomers that are here.

64.14 - 65.942 Kieran Read

Have you, has the serotonin levels returned?

66.203 - 68.385 Unidentified

Oh, God, man. I'll tell you what, I am backed up.

Chapter 3: What happened during Kieran Read's karaoke night in Sri Lanka?

68.446 - 71.209 Unidentified

I'm all kinds of backed up at the moment. Not for those reasons.

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71.249 - 73.332 Kieran Read

How's those Maxi Jesuses coming along?

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73.352 - 76.055 Unidentified

Holy heck, yeah, I've been rattling those. How often am I allowed to take those?

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Chapter 4: What insights does Kieran Read share about the New Zealand Under 85s rugby tour?

76.216 - 79.6 Kieran Read

Once every four hours, I believe. You can take two, but maximum eight a day.

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80.339 - 81.281 Unidentified

Maximum made a day?

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81.321 - 82.704 Kieran Read

Yeah, so you can only take them four times.

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82.984 - 88.495 Unidentified

Okay, that explains why I haven't taken a shit in three days. Yeah, that's, yeah. Okay, I'll wiener off on those.

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88.655 - 90.8 Kieran Read

I've got some coating in my bag, if you can.

90.9 - 91.982 Unidentified

Will that sort out the stool?

92.383 - 94.407 Kieran Read

No, that'll make it worse, but it'll make you feel great.

94.928 - 102.583 Unidentified

Okay, maybe we'll look to that. Should we take that before the yours pleases today? Yeah, let's do that. Do you want to talk about some sad news before we...

102.563 - 130.917 Kieran Read

well we predicted this yesterday um isaac sally sally and myself and joe jury um soon as we announced the news that tanner boyd has signed long term we're like goodbye that's that's lukey metcalf gone yeah and just how things can swing so quickly with a little bit of form in the nris no there's no league like it in the world no where you can change the course of your career so in such a short period yeah people had him in delhi m conversations yeah last year 12 months ago yeah

Chapter 5: Why should the All Blacks consider picking Richie Mo'unga for the match against South Africa?

130.897 - 152.524 Kieran Read

And then old Tanner Boyd has been on a heater and he's out. He's looking for a new team and the wives have said, sure. I mean, I... Do we like it? I think I do like it. I like it and more the fact that I think the Warriors made a decision. There's no compassionate leave here, unfortunately. We can't add him to the compassionate leave 13 because this is a release.

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153.305 - 164.418 Kieran Read

We are backing Tanner Boyd over you. You've been susceptible to injury potentially. You're a good player. Good player. Good player. So what happens when Tanner Boyd gets injured? Well, I don't know.

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Chapter 6: What feedback did listeners provide in the 'Yours Please' segment?

164.658 - 168.042 Kieran Read

But at the moment, he's playing pretty well with the team he's got.

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168.022 - 181.459 Unidentified

Yeah, no, we won't have a backup, Joe. We won't have a backup. But just the other day you were telling me that this is the reason that he wants to do this is because he's not getting game time. So you can't really expect him to sit on the bench, can you? Well, he's got a contract, though. Yeah, I know. You're a big contract guy. You love your contract chat. So he should have to stay.

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181.479 - 183.441 Unidentified

But at what point are you going to go, this is not how it works?

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183.461 - 202.608 Kieran Read

But why don't the Warriors get compensated for having someone under contract who then they choose to... Volandes needs to answer. I agree with that. I agree with the fact that if you're going to be released from your contract, if a team's going to take him, they need to pay you. They need to pay you for developing him as a player, raising his profile as a player. Or not. Or the opposite.

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202.628 - 206.593 Kieran Read

He might be a shitter and you just want to bug and get rid of him. Yeah. And you'll take anything.

206.934 - 216.245 Unidentified

I never like to see a player leave on what is kind of... It's slightly... Niggly grounds, isn't it? It feels a little bit like there was a little... There's some rough edges to this.

216.265 - 220.089 Kieran Read

Yeah, well, it's a bit like when Sean Johnson left the Warriors. He dropped his lip.

220.109 - 220.369 Unidentified

Yeah.

220.469 - 222.812 Kieran Read

Fucked off. Came crawling back. Became a hero.

Chapter 7: How do the hosts feel about the current state of rugby in New Zealand?

224.353 - 226.495 Unidentified

So do you think Lukey Met has done the same?

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226.616 - 235.565 Kieran Read

I think so. He's not getting game time. He's been outshone by Tanner Boyd. Yeah. But it's happened so quickly. It's like not even halfway through the season.

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235.705 - 243.176 Unidentified

So back to your conversation, Joe. So what happens now, do you think? So do we... Are we going to get nothing for this?

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243.316 - 246.841 Kieran Read

Absolutely nothing. Webby hasn't picked him this week as well, so it's a good fuck you.

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247.001 - 263.082 Unidentified

I do like the principle of the player that's playing the best, playing for the team, has always been one that I think we're a fan of here at the SEC. We've never really liked players being picked on mana more than current form. So I think that's the right move, but it sounds like this is just really going to be another one that got away, isn't it?

263.146 - 268.114 Kieran Read

And also, it'd be great if they make... Off to the Dragons. It'd be great if they make the grand final. Oh, you go to the Dragons. Enjoy that.

268.134 - 269.797 Unidentified

That'll be good. 50 points.

269.857 - 290.327 Kieran Read

Yeah. But I think we get a bigger bracket on that with the Mad Monday team, guys, tomorrow. We've got a super round. Oh, sorry, the magic round special tomorrow. And for those of you listening yesterday, a chance for you to let us know what you want The Notorious Pants Man, Joel Harrison to get up to. We need some challengers. Maybe just half a dozen.

Chapter 8: What are the plans for the upcoming rugby events and commentary initiatives?

291.027 - 295.912 Kieran Read

And don't make them take a selfie with a former NRL player because he would do that anyway.

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295.932 - 301.997 Unidentified

Because it's just a Tuesday night at the Pants Man. Same with pissing in the air conditioning vent of his new girlfriend's bedroom.

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302.177 - 314.128 Kieran Read

Or dancing with no pants on post-match in Caxton. Or Castle Street as Jason Hoyt calls it. A good one would be like Sabotage the Big Shows.

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314.682 - 338.732 Kieran Read

live podcast that they're doing oh hang on no no i wanted to disassociate myself from that i mean sorry how do you involve yourself in it how do you sabotage a podcast that are self-sabotaging your own podcast anyway they are will they do one over there i didn't did they do one last time i don't know are they all going nothing no the only broadcaster that last time was um hoits absolutely horrific oh someone gave someone gave him an eight ball before he went on that's not his fault

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341.227 - 361.131 Unidentified

Shall we start this show? Yeah. Live from the Export Beer Gunner studio, this is the Agenda for Wednesday, the 12th of May. It's only Wednesday. The Agenda podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and claptrap. Brought to you by Export Ultra. I didn't say, G-Lane, happy birthday to you. Oh, thanks, mate. Looking great.

361.592 - 361.993 Kieran Read

Yeah, thanks.

362.173 - 362.714 Unidentified

Feeling great.

363.194 - 368.661 Kieran Read

Yeah, thank you for the cake this morning, i.e. seven packets of biscuits stacked up into a tower.

368.802 - 373.368 Unidentified

Yeah, budget's tight, you know that. Yeah. Yeah, we can't really afford... You had nothing to do with that. I had nothing to do with that.

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